"These English do not have any culture. When one visits museums it is Germans, Spanish, Italians, and French you see. The English 'get more' by asking for beer in low bars. You can recognise an Englishman by his football shirt on prominent paunch. His only reading is The Sun," wrote one Libre Belgique reader on Thursday morningErr ... if we're such a yobbish culture-free country, packed full of arrogant, cretinous, spiritless morons, why do you want to throw your entire political, financial and legal future into the same European cunt soup™ as us?
"The English are cretins, whose arrogance is only equalled by their mediocrity of spirit."
Listen, Poirot, this is exactly why the idea of a federal EU is so catastrophically ill-advised and therefore doomed to failure. We're all different sets of people, do you see? All with vastly differing cultures and outlooks on life.
So trying to inflict a one-size-fits-all set of rules on all 27 nations is a quite ludicrous exercise. For crying out loud, Yugoslavia couldn't even manage to keep three or four identities under the same flag without it all turning into a big cat fight under a zipped up tent - with guns - so what chance reconciling the current vastly diverse membership of the EU?
We like you when we go to Belgium, just as you like us when you visit here. We like buying cheap stuff, and good chocolate, to bring back from your gaff, just as you enjoy coming here to speak a decent language for a few days and see what a hill looks like.
But once thrown into a culturally eclectic mix of distinctly opposing lifestyles and attitudes, and being told to all get along, we realise we don't really care for you much after all, and you aren't that keen on us either.
Just the fact that you are angry about Farage having a verbal pop at Rumpy is a demonstrable difference in ideology, in itself, which is baffling to us - I mean, if Blair had been elected, and one of yours had roughed him up a bit, we wouldn't have given a monkey's chuff about it.
We're all different, not the same, you see. We are quite fond of our sovereignty, whereas you are quite happy to surrender yours every 40 years or so. Vive la difference, I say, but kindly include us out of a united Europe, it's not something we are keen on, as we pointed out back in the 40s.
And, as the furore generated by Farage proves, it simply isn't going to work in the long run, anyway.
Can we leave yet?
© 'Cunt Soup' is a trademark of The Salted Slug, reproduced with kind permission