Thursday 2 October 2014

10 Year Old Lunchbox Police

I really tried to ignore this from Sunday, truly I did, but it just keeps coming back like something from a haunting.
A primary school has appointed 10-year-olds as ‘packed lunch police’ with the power to inspect the food younger pupils bring to school – and even issue warnings if it is unhealthy. 
Headmistress Caroline Holliday said: ‘This healthy-eating campaign has been driven and implemented by our children themselves.’
Yes, really. We now have children who have been taught that interfering in the lives of others is an honourable thing to do, and school teachers who encourage behaviour which could lead to bullying.

Elements in 'public health' who are responsible for incubating stuff like this deserve jail time.


12 comments:

Norbert Zillatron said...

No, not jail time!


That would be cruel and unsual punishment for the other inmates ...

RobC(UK) said...

‘Your packed lunch may include bread, pasta, crackers, rice, wraps, meat, cheese, fish, small yoghurt, fruit and vegetables.'

How irresponsible of that school, don't they know that:

Bread, Pasta and Wraps are high carbohydrate = BAD
Crackers are high carb and salt = BAD
Rice can have heavy metal and bacterial contamination = BAD
Meat is a bacterial hazard if fresh and a cancer risk if processed = BAD
Cheese contains the same preservatives as Hotdogs = BAD
Fish contaminated with heavy metals and pesticides = BAD
Yoghurt, other than natural, loaded with sugar = BAD
Fruit when ripe contains large quantities of sugar = BAD
Vegetables can contain carbohydrates and sugars along with pesticides and heavy metals, therefore = BAD

Geoff Cliff said...

Yes, we've seen this before, have we not? We could issue these 'monitors' with nice little uniforms, and give them 'party prizes' for each offender reported, like a badge with Dave's portrait on it, and a machine gun, and a concentration camp observation post to sit in. I don't like the path we're on!

Dioclese said...

That'll work well when some kid smacks the other kid in the face for trying to pinch his cheesy straws...

Jurie Botha said...

Yup, Public health behaviour beginning to remind me more and more of the NAZI Party.

woodsy42 said...

If this country is to have a future it is vitally important that schools train the next generation of jobsworths for the local government and charity sectors.

JonathanBagley said...

At least they classify cheese as healthy - a Wigan classroom assistant confiscated a cheese sandwich because it is high in saturated fat. And they don't differentiate between white and wholemeal bread, which both contain the same amount of carbohydrate. It could have been a lot worse. Send your kid in with a peanut butter sandwich death bomb. That'll teach 'em. Food of the Gods when I was a growing lad, but the past is a foreign country.

Norbert Zillatron said...

Even worse: The traditional american sandwich!

Peanut butter and jelly. (gasp!)
Fat and sugar!
That should give the assistant a stroke and a heart attack.

Dick_Puddlecote said...

There's a lucrative career to be had highlighting tiny traces of dangerous substances in everyday consumer products and wildly exaggerating their danger, doncha know? ;)

Dick_Puddlecote said...

... of if the 'inspector' kid is the bigger and smacks the smaller one for being a filthy cheese eater. 10 year olds aren't the best at nuanced debate.

Dick_Puddlecote said...

The little Ps' primary schools were relatively liberal, I'm happy to say, but glad they left there 2/3 years ago before it deteriorates more. Worst we had was the boy being ordered to spit out a boiled sweet - which was our last from a tin from our holiday journey that I'd put in his lunchbox as a treat - into the bin by an infuriated school secretary when he was 8. I had to explain to him after school that he hadn't done something wicked.

John M said...

Here's hoping for a younger, switched on child wise enough to make a firlam bullying accusation against the older "enforcers"

Time to buy some popcorn...