The Walls Have Ears

It's not really surprising these days to hear of councils like this one in Southampton who have banned a lollipop man's tinsel,

A lollipop man has been ordered to remove tinsel from his STOP sign in case it distracts drivers and puts children in danger.

but what is very disturbing is this part of the story.

An anonymous passer-by had complained the decoration might obscure the sign.

What kind of petty-minded, miserable, interfering pukebag must one be to put in a complaint like that? Anonymously, of course. No point letting on who they are in case someone decides to, quite rightly, post the contents of the local park's doggie bins through their letterbox.

It's Harry Enfield's 'old gits' personified, or at least one hopes so. The alternative is that the constant drip of wanky health and safety directives to combat irrelevant or negligible risk, has been so utterly absorbed by the weak-minded that they see danger and disaster at every turn. Or perhaps it's the ability to be able to mess up another human's life, and the resultant feeling of superiority, which is the motivation.

Whatever the reason, they're just being given more and more opportunities by council thumb-twiddlers like those in Preston, who have authorised the police to issue £80 fines for swearing.

The rats will be bouncing with glee at laws like this, especially after a Preston Council spokesperson on Five Live this morning, when asked if the police would have to hear the swearing or would it be enough for a passer-by to tell the police they had heard a cuss word, replied:

It would be enough for someone to inform the police that they heard language that they found offensive.

Can't you just see the old gits by their fire, cackling hysterically at the mischievous and malicious possibilities now presented to them by this? And judging by the past record of various council appeals processes, there will be fuck all chance of protesting one's innocence, as long as the council's procedures have been followed correctly, as this guy found out recently.

The Preston spokesperson had me spewing out £560 worth of expletives myself though, when she naively burbled

One would hope that the police will use discretion.

Yes, of course they will, dear. Now, what is the colour of the sky where you live, again?