Wednesday, 17 December 2008

YOU are Incompetent


A few more public sector parasites have gotten bored with flicking rubber bands at one another for £30k+ pa, and instead have come up with new guidelines for tackling chip pan fires. The advice is ... err ... not to tackle chip pan fires. You're too stupid, get someone else to do it.

For decades the public has been advised to run a tea towel under a tap, wring it out and then place it over the rim of the burning chip pan.

The new advice, contained in a leaflet, is "don't take any risks. Turn off the heat if it's safe to do so. Never throw water over it. Don't tackle the fire yourself. GET OUT STAY OUT AND CALL 999".


Yes, there's a leaflet. And a public information film with some expensive looking special effects too. You must adhere to Labour's 11th commandment, thou shalt not take any risks, ever, let Labour spend your taxes instead.

Oh, come on. How risky is it really? You see a chip pan fire, you are therefore in a kitchen. Unless you're Elton John or the Duke of bloody Westminster there is likely to be a tap and a tea towel almost within touching distance. Combine the contents of the tap with the tea towel and you have an effective weapon to swiftly and easily combat said threat, without recourse to ten tons of shiny red emergency equipment thundering up your street (by which time kitchen, tea towel and tap would probably not exist anymore).

Labour and their minions, however, obviously view you as too incompetent to understand the tea towel and tap water interface. It's elf 'n' safety again innit.

householders are not trained to deal properly with fires


One must wonder at which demographic this advice is aimed. School leavers of Labour's "educashun, edukashon, edoocajun" generation, perhaps?




2 comments:

Womble On Tour said...

Now you mention it, the public are not trained to use chip pans, so maybe we should ban them, and make everyone live on lentils and lettuce leaves.

Screaming Banshee said...

So hang on here, you have a chip pan fire and where as before you could put the fire out to save the call to the emergency services you now have to leave your house and let it burn down.

If it takes as long for the fire department to turn up from a 999 call as it did the police here your house will be a pile of ash.