Nice Work Agent Harris

Not the sharpest knife in the picnic hamper is he, that Evan Harris?

As the Lib Dems attempt to close the stable door on the stampede that is their ever-shrinking support, his idea of smart political manoeuvring is to attack page 3.

Photos of topless women could be banned from newspapers under plans backed by the Liberal Democrat conference.

Former MP Evan Harris held up pictures of Page 3 girls in The Sun yesterday as he issued his call for newspapers and magazines to be subject to the same restrictions as pre-watershed television.

Dr Harris told the conference, in Birmingham: "Tabloid newspapers in particular, which call themselves family newspapers, should not be able to portray women in a sexualised way, in a way that the broadcast media would not be able to do in soap operas and children's television programmes before the watershed."

Unsurprisingly, it hasn't gone down well with the tabloids concerned, who think he is worth a much more prominent berth than the ladies in question ... the masthead.

Oh dear, Harris must have forgotten the power of these newspapers. For much of today, his face would have decorated the front dash of thousands of white vans, while in transport caffs up and down the country, forks would have hit crockery all morning accompanied by gasps of anger as brickies, decorators and roadworkers read of his plans and wondered how best to rip off his head and shout down the hole.

This is the same Harris, remember, who lost his Oxford West and Abingdon seat by just 176 votes in May last year. A narrow margin which could arguably have had something to do with The Sun's page 3 story (with pictorial scrumptiousness) on the morning of the election.

SIXTEEN Page 3 Girls in all their glory represent the very image of freedom in this country.

But if Labour or the Lib Dems win the election, this could be the last time they are allowed to pose together.

MPs Harriet Harman and Lynne Featherstone will move swiftly to change the law and ban Page 3 forever.

As far as many of those readers are concerned, the Lib Dem conference is as relevant to them as the weather on Jupiter, but Harris got their attention all right. They'll know about Clegg, of course, he's the one that Bert - the old geezer who knows a bit about that politics gubbins - says is a right tool. So, obviously the party is full of 'em.

It'll matter not a jot what any of his colleagues say this week in Birmingham now, to readers of two of the most prevalent newspapers bought by working class people, the Lib Dems are a bunch of muppets completely detached from the ordinary lives of people they expect to vote for them.

Great work, Evan, I'm sure other Lib Dem MPs with small majorities will be right chuffed with your shaving a few hundred votes off of their tally next time round.

Now then, about this 'liberal' bit in your party name ...