Monday 6 January 2014

The Gift Of Beauty

Christmas is barely over, but businesses then quite obviously look to the next present-buying opportunity which just happens to be Valentine's Day. And what better to give to the love of your life this year than the gift of beauty; a promise to your significant other to take away tobacco control industry onanistic gore porn forever, eh?

That's what this press release from SmokeScreenz offers anyway - just have a look at some of these cigarette pack covers.

Do your worst, miserabilists, festoon packs with as many of your sick fantasies as you like. Plain pack the buggers, it makes no difference, you've been overrun by technology yet again. That's how the free market works, you see, which is quite funny seeing as public health is infested with left-wing academics who despise free markets having never matured away from woefully naive acne-angst teen ideology like the rest of us adults.

I like this company too, because you'd expect them to love the installation of tobacco control's mental health problems in picture form on a pack of Marlboros, wouldn't you? It would be a massive boost to their sales, I should think.

But you'd be wrong, because - Co-op take note - they appear to be an extraordinarily ethical company.
There is no proof whatsoever that plain packaging will deter children from starting to smoke or force adults to reduce consumption. On the contrary there is actually evidence to suggest that plain packaging will do little more than make life extremely difficult for tobacconists and much easier for counterfeiters. There are macro economic downsides as well which have not been fully considered. 
Cigarette cases have been used as a fashion accessory in various guises for about 100 years and  Smoke Screenz now simply gives smokers the ability to retain or ‘regain’ their individuality by being able to legally design a legally purchased product in which to place a pack of yet another legally purchased product.

You can imagine, can't you, that the massed ranks of tobacco control tax spongers are not going to be happy about this if plain packaging does become a reality.

We've already seen a laughable attempt by the Australian Medical Association to ban stickers - I can't wait to see if UK-based finger-waggers also try to propose banning pretty cardboard rigid and high quality plastic crushproof boxes (edit after being contacted by the company, DP) to save you and your loved one in the name of the Church of public health.


8vwb98v7 said...

One of your best written pieces. Kudos.

Junican said...

It is incredibly easy to obliterate the obscene pictures. Just leave the cellophane on the bottom part of the cig packet in place and insert a picture of you own choice. You can even use pics taken from newspapers or any other source. You just cut the pic to the right size and slide it inside the cellophane. Simples!

wj said...

I just absolutely love the indomitable inventiveness of the common man - the po-faced clowns just can't pin 'em down. Like lumps in a mattress.

It raises my spirits no end.

moonrakin said...

The perfect accessory for your smoky-drinky cave - add image of Arnott - job done!

nisakiman said...

I'm with wj on this one. I think that PP may even do us a favour in a way, insofar as it will incentivise people to seek a less offensive pack for their ciggys. This will then render the whole sorry mess, from the first 'Government Warnings' on the side of the pack, to the medico porn lined up for us now, completely ineffective (in the eyes of TCI). The howls of frustration will be music to my ears! Because try as they may, I can't think of any way they can stop people buying and using boxes.

I wish great commercial success for SmokeScreenz. I wonder if they could secure the rights to reproduce facsimiles of all the cigarette brands packs, sans warnings, just like they used to be before all this stupidity began. I might even start buying the occasional pack of tailor-mades if I had a sleeve like that!