Monday 21 April 2014

Palcohol: All Aboard The Outrage Bus

Via Zaph, it seems we have a brand new moral panic on our hands. The Daily Star calls outrage!
A US company has caused outrage after it suggested that popping its powered alcohol on your breakfast was the perfect way to start your day.
Palcohol has just been approved by the US government and will go on sale in the Autumn.
Quite who is outraged they don't say; the article carries none of the usual anti-alcohol pressure group scaremongering quotes, nor do those appearing in the Guardian, Telegraph, USA Today,or HuffPo.

This is probably due to the timing since we know very well from Twitter that prohibitionists generally shut down for weekends and bank holidays (often for longer) and, this being Easter, the chances of their exercising vigilance despite the prevailing global alcohol "epidemic" is remote - it's an easy life on state handouts, eh? I'm sure, though, that once they stroll into the office tomorrow morning the anti-alcohol lobby will be hastily planning the 'outrage' so sadly lacking from media reports so far. We certainly shouldn't be allowed to make our own minds up about Palcohol, now should we?

I did like this delicious detail in the Indy, mind.
The change in campaign material comes during US Alcohol Awareness Month.
Now that's genius!

As it happens, the product's website suggests that Palcohol could be quite a practical innovation.
Mark is an active guy...hiking, biking, camping, kayaking, etc. After hours of an activity, he sometimes wanted to relax and enjoy a refreshing adult beverage. But those activities, and many others, don't lend themselves to lugging heavy bottles of wine, beer or spirits. The only liquid he wanted to carry was water. 
So he thought? Wouldn't it be great to have alcohol in powder form so all one had to do is add water? Since powder is light and compact, it wouldn't be a burden to carry. 
Mark searched for powdered alcohol and it wasn't available. So he began his quest to create it. After years of research, experimentation and consultation with scientists around the world, he finally came up with powdered alcohol and called it Palcohol. 
Now Palcohol is here. A great convenience for the person on the go. One package weighs about an ounce and is small enough to fit into any pocket. 
It's not just for the sportsperson. Palcohol can be transported in your luggage without the fear of bottles breaking. In any situation where weight and breakage is an issue, Palcohol provides the answer. That's why we say, "Take your Pal wherever you go!"
What's not to like?

Well, I'm sure the professional anti-alcohol lobbyists will think of plenty given time, and it will most likely involve a lot of this.


Legiron said...

I must try it. I want to see if I can figure out how he's done it. Probably adsorbed the alcohol onto a soluble substrate, but what? Sugar? Now that would be a double whammy.

This is going to terrify the antis. Bottles are easy to find and burdensome to transport through customs - but little packets aren't.

I wonder how long it will take them to notice that if you dissolve the powder in half the recommended amount of water, it's double strength?

Dick_Puddlecote said...

Can you imagine how invasive searches are going to be at already over-the-top security for venues like the O2 arena?

We could be seeing pat-downs at WWE Smackdown in order to protect the £6 pint of Carlsberg profits. ;)

Xopher said...

"alcohol onto a soluble substrate, but what? Sugar?"
A white powder to confuse the Customs sniffer dogs!

Entropy said...

But can you snort it? For science, obviously.

Dick_Puddlecote said...

That's apparently where the pretend outrage came from, see the USA Today link above.

Kath Gillon said...

I am not "outraged" by this product but it is a bloody ludicrous idea and in truth bloody pointless unless your a raving alchie trying to hide their alcoholism, that said however people should be free to make that decision for themselves.
But then let's face it the "outrage" brigade are hell bent on removing all freedom of choice and that's the point of the moral "outrage" .
I can see customs having a headache or 12 with this product, which could be failry hillarious.

DP said...

Dear Mr Puddlecote

Now all that's needed is dehydrated water.

Just add ...



* perhaps that should be H2Oh.

Boring Fact Sniffer said...

Meanwhile in the New York Gulag,the commissars are in a panic about the
toxic emmissions form YELLOW CABS (TAXIS) alone
PER DAY in Metropolitan Administrative
= 438,356,000 smokers (438 million)
Check out emmisions at John Kennedy Airport ,unbelievable.

Gutter Snipe said...

Nothing new ,powdery alcoholic beverage, London pansies have been drinking it for years
Q. Has anyone seen the TV AD for Smirnoff Vodka,what a really cool dude
joint with snakes doing the ice cubes and super cool Bowie look alikes stroking the instruments,slithering celebs cruising around like randy stoats,pity they all have to crawl out onto the gutter to light up their Sobranies.

alan_t said...

I'm sure, many years ago, I was told in Hong Kong that various beers were imported dehydrated, and that it was just water added back in to make the beer. Didn't do anything to improve John Smiths though