Friday, 24 April 2015

A Freedom-Loving Fantasy Frontbench

A new website and app designed, according to its creators, to "empower voters by providing political information in an engaging and accessible format" has been launched today. Fantasy Frontbench carries information on general election candidates' stance on 75 policy issues from which you are invited to create your own fantasy cabinet.

So I've used it to select a dream team of 22 ministers who are sound on lifestyle issues we jewel robbers discuss on these pages.

I've gone for the genial David Davis as Prime Minister, which isn't so far-fetched because he would be if the Tories hadn't had a collective meltdown in 2005 in choosing a bedwetter as their party leader. He'd need an able sidekick, so consummate libertarian Doug Carswell fills the Deputy PM role.

Two ministers stay where they are in my reshuffle, Eric Pickles for having the courage to clamp down on sock puppets in local government, and Chris Grayling for being the most prominent MP to vote against plain packs.

Two Labour MPs are included, in the form of Kate Hoey who has always been uncharacteristically liberal for her party, and Simon Danczuk is Justice Secretary for his dogged work on child abuse. In the regions, ex-Labour brawler Eric Joyce is responsible for slapping some sense into Scotland, while Guto Bebb takes on the Welsh job and Ian Paisley can start work on getting back the 900 jobs lost recently in Northern Ireland thanks to stupid government interference.

At health, I have Mark Pawsey to be a firm hand over the NHS and to ensure e-cigs are kept out of overweening regulation, while Nigel Farage takes Culture Media and Sport to oversee a renaissance for pubs with an amendment to the smoking ban, amongst other fun tasks.

Sound as a pound Steve Baker is my Chancellor for his experience in the City, and last but not least, our esteemed mascot is, of course, Leader of the House.

You can see my choices for all 22 positions by clicking here - it's interesting to note that more than three quarters of these liberal types were not educated at Oxbridge institutions. Perhaps that's where the paternalist streak gets injected, who knows?

You can view all the candidates' voting records and make your own choices for top jobs at Do consider sharing your line-ups in the comments, I'm curious to learn if I've overlooked anyone.


Dioclese said...

Interesting choice for a Northern Island minister as Paisley is dead?

Curmudgeon said...

Good pick of Steve Baker. I saw him speak at a ABD meeting a few years ago and he was very impressive. One of the few MPs with a real understanding of economics.

I'd like to see Owen Paterson taking the Energy and Climate Change portfolio (and hopefully dropping the Climate Change bit).

Dick_Puddlecote said...

Yes, should have clarified that it's Ian Jr, a good egg.

Dick_Puddlecote said...

Agreed about Baker, and as someone who has commented here he was one of the first on the shortlist.

That's why I took Tim Aker for that post, I'm sure he's on message - plus I'm biased as I've met him. ;)

Sam Duncan said...

I have to admit, one of my worst errors of judgement in politics (it's just as well I didn't have a vote) was being taken in by Cameron back in '08 and thinking Davis was putting on an act to get elected. Couldn't have been more wrong.

I often wonder what would have happened had Davis won. The Tories would either have wone a majority in 2010, or been beaten soundly, either of which would have been a better outcome than the coagulation with the “Liberal” “Democrats”. (And, since it was Dave's spinelessless in the face of a Parliament that has - or had - no power to call one, we'd probably never have had the disastrously divisive Scottish referendum, either. Meaning we probably wouldn't be facing the absolute fustercluck that's going to unfold in May.)

Anyway, this sounds interesting. Can you abolish departments entirely?

Perry de Havilland said...

Baker is a star and frankly far too good for the Stupid Party.

nemesis said...

Graham Stringer? Labour - but skeptical about Climate Change and comes with a science background.

nemesis said...

Sorry. Swap my Stringer for a Bone - Peter Bone.

lindab1284 said...

Great written post by Dick Puddlecote good work.......