Silliness: A Whistle Stop European Tour

Regular readers will attest that much of the 'elsewhere' tag here tends to throw a glance across the Atlantic. Recent events, though, suggest - even demand - a look across the channel instead.

I mean, even British righteous couldn't come up with stuff like this, surely?

A seaside city in Italy is planning to ban miniskirts and other revealing clothing to improve what the mayor calls standards of public decency.

There will also be a ban on sunbathing, playing football in public places, and blasphemy, if the proposals are approved at a council meeting on Monday.

In other places they have banned sandcastles, kissing in cars, feeding stray cats, wooden clogs and the use of lawn mowers at weekends.

Oh, silly me! We have a similarly nutty seaside authority who could give the eye-ties a run for their money.

Busted there, then.

Well, we certainly don't do this.

HOOKERS touting for business on the side of a busy road must now wear luminous tops to prevent accidents.

The prostitutes have been told by their council to wear the high-visibility vests or face a fine.

Officials in Els Alamus, near Barcelona, Spain, claim the working girls can be a danger to moving traffic.

Course not. Over here, we don't tolerate prostitution at all. Setting aside zones for working girls isn't to be contemplated, so we throw all manner of obstacles in front of innocent motorists instead.

They can significantly reduce the level of prostitution by making it difficult for kerb crawlers and cruisers to access street prostitutes. Examples of road management interventions include closing through roads at one end, making roads into one-way streets and installing speed humps.

Hmm, this article isn't turning out as planned, it has to be said.

Right. Last attempt. We definitely don't have people this stupid.

A baby died when a family of 12 leapt from their second floor balcony in Paris claiming they were fleeing the devil.

Eight more were injured, some seriously, in the tragedy when they jumped 20ft into a car park in Paris suburb of La Verriere.

Police said they had found no evidence of hallucinogenic drugs or unusual religious rituals.

Versailles assistant prosecutor Odile Faivre added: “A wife in the next room saw her husband moving around naked and began screaming that he was the devil.

“In the confusion following this apparent case of mistaken identity, the naked man's sister-in-law stabbed him in the hand and he was ejected through the front door of the flat.

“When he attempted to get back in, panic erupted and the other occupants of the flat fled by jumping out of the window."

Nah, we can't match that.

“A number of points surrounding this incident remain to be cleared up,” Mr Faivre said.

Even though the British term 'no shit, Sherlock' is readily applicable in this case.