Thursday 14 June 2012

I'm Hungry - World On A Stick, Please

More than most, I think we here are very well qualified as observers of those who demand their own way above all others. You know, those for whom tolerance and respect for the general outside world is an alien concept.

No, for some, unicorns gambolling in the garden and a magic-laden mermaid in the bath is the very least that life should offer them. They're special, see.

Here's one from Texas, giving a bad review of a guy running a mobile food business because he didn't fall on his knees and worship her gluten-free diet.
Me: Do you have anything gluten free?
Chef: I don't do gluten free. (This is when I should have left....but no...)
Me: I see you have sandwiches but could you make something without bread?
Chef: I wouldn't know how to do gluten free.
Me: Gluten free is basically no wheat although several other flours have gluten. (Thinking I'm giving him some useful information, but seriously, don't all chefs know what gluten is?)
Chef: I can throw a piece of turkey on a plate.
Me: ----
Chef: (laughing)'s your gluten free pointing to something on top of his trailer.
Me: Gluten is a health concern and many people cannot eat it yet you make fun of it....(turning to leave)
Chef: blahblahblah
His response is as delicious as anything he may serve at his establishment. Selected highlights below.
Your Honor, I'd like permission to treat this witness as a "hostile witness".

Defense will concede that you did make two very salient points:

1) Yes, I do like my gluten.

And 2) As you stated, you should have walked away when I told you we do not do "gluten free". But, as you also stated, you did not.

At this time I'd like to submit defense exhibits A & B.

This is a photo of the sign under which the witness stood as she droned on about the dangers of wheat to me, a man selling SANDWICHES.

This is a photo of the lettering directly beneath my service window. This is the same window through which I was made to endure your sermon on the dangers of bread while I was attempting to sell SANDWICHES to an otherwise gluten- adoring public.


I SELL SANDWICHES! Sandwiches... as in proteins nestled comfortably between BREADS.


But if it's quite all right with you, I'd like to sell the sort of food that I like to eat - the kind of food that I am proud of making - to a population of people who know moderation is the key and, for the most part, thinks you've got too much time on your hands to deal with your First World problems and the hottest new fad affliction that you just got wind of on 60 Minutes.
We are not worthy!

Lord knows how many street vendors they have in Austin who don't have a big sign saying they don't 'do' gluten-free - I reckon it might be a lot. But she just had to demand this one fall in with her personal will.

Her verbal spanking was thoroughly deserved and a delight to behold. If you're ever anywhere near Austin, make sure you give the guy some business.

PS: We had someone like that here once.



Séan Billings said...

Some people people choose a gluten free diet (for spurious health reasons) but most on such a diet have a genuine intolerance to gluten. Coeliac disease is not a fad or a lifestyle choice, it is a painful illness which restricts your dietary choices, if you want to have any kind of quality of life. It is not unreasonable to ask a sandwich place if they have a gluten free option. Most realise that it is not difficult to throw together a salad or something and make a sale.

The customer in question was a bit dim to approach this particular van and ask about gluten free options, considering what is written on it, but the vendor in question is ignorant and rude. Instead of "I can throw a piece of turkey on a plate." he could have said "I'm sorry, everything we offer has wheat."

"'s your gluten free pointing to something on top of his trailer." Was just ridiculing someone who had been polite, even if they were asking for something he does not sell. What was it supposed to achieve?

Call me old fashioned, but I think that politeness costs nothing and showing some common decency and respect for another human being would have been a much better reaction than acting like an arsehole.

Gregster said...

He told her twice he didn't do gluten free and his van says he doesn't do gluten free but she still carried on. Now she's complaining because he was rude when a sign right in front of her says he is Austin's rudest business. She sounds like a flake to me and deserves it.

c777 said...

That's the trouble with these people they want everyone to cater for them.
Why should they?
It's the same mentality that was exploited to bring in the smoking ban "I don't like it so nobody else can do it".
Selfish to the extreme.
The answer is simple go somewhere where you can get whatever it is you want, stay away from what you do not like but never ever try to impose your beliefs forcibly on others.

JonathanBagley said...

Recommend reading the whole of his response. "Rabbit food at mini-bar prices."

Bill Sticker said...

 Or; "Why have you come to a sandwich seller if you wanted gluten free?  Dumbass."

JuliaM said...

I once went to the Mongolian BBQ in Covent Garden with some work colleagues, including a whiny, fussy cow who was a pain in the arse. Observing the big flatplate on which they stir-fried your choice, she buttenholed the waiter (a young Aussie) and demanded 'What do you do for vegetarians?'

Quick as a flash, he replied 'We ask 'em to leave, love!'.

We all fell about laughing. She ate broccoli the whole night.

Tom said...

There was a "news" story in the main San Francisco paper a few years back, during the onset of whatever latest upcoming smoking and tobacco retailing regulation of the month was being introduced (which is many, including outdoor smoking bans carrying $500 fines), a propaganda piece to give legitimacy to Stanton Glantz and the tobacco bansturbators, in which a non-smoking radicalized anti-smoking lady went into a cigar store on the first floor of the building in which she worked and went off on the owner, giving him the old-what-for for his audacity to be operating a cigar store and legal ventilated cigar smoking lounge that had been in operation for decades, much longer than the non-smoking anti-smoking office worker many floors up who, per the propaganda piece, had repeatedly gone into the cigar store to scream and yell at the owner, telling him he should be ashamed and should shut down his store. It being San Francisco of course and the next new retail and smoking ban going to go into effect no matter what, the story was totally slanted to make her out as the hero in this situation instead of the nosey meddler who if she didn't like the cigar store, then should have ignored it and stayed out. But it may be whoever operates these banning campaigns, who have money and influence from higher up, might even pay or coerce a few lackey tools into doing these stunts in order to then write up a Press Release and turn anti-smoking, anti-gluten, anti-whatever into the impression of being legitimate and lending credence to their authority. The one who tried suing McDonalds in San Francisco turned out to be a highly paid state employee in charge of food and nutrition in California state government - at within less than one-half hour of her filing her lawsuit that time, the press release in her favour was put onto the wire service, only orginating out of Portland, Oregon - because the whole thing was not spontaneous or "news" at all, but a cleverly planned manipulation among players hoping to target the fast food industry. The woman in Austin, she may have been a set-up for the anti-glutten fake-charities, as part of their playbook.

Dick_Puddlecote said...

Sorry, Sean, but I think you have this quite wrong.

Her account of events is just that. Hers. As Gregster said, she was informed twice that he didn't offer gluten-free products but chose instead to try to "educate" him.

Ask yourself why he had that painted on his wagon in the first place. Was it not to deter people like her from using his van? Perhaps he has had his fill of sanctimonious whingers going on about it.

If she is medically in need of gluten-free products, I'd suggest that she would already have a long lost of where she can obtain that kind of thing without rocking up unannounced. Also, you'd think she might have assessed the situation - if it's that important - and would have noticed that he has no inclination, business need, or even sympathy to bother catering for her. It's not like he hid it or anything.

C777 had it right, and why I posted it, by drawing parallels elsewhere. I venture to suggest that she went there specifically to cause a problem precisely because he wouldn't dance to her tune. She was thwarted and so took her anger out by trying to rubbish the guy's online advert page.

His reply was awesome.

Someone who was truly concerned would have asked the question and then been polite enough, since you mention it, to have gone elsewhere. She did nothing of the sort.

Making excuses for either her ignorance or lack of respect for others is pretty silly.