The Portman Group has, in its joyless way, ruled one of their beers' advertising as not boring enough. By way of response, Brewdog have issued a "formal apology".
“On behalf of BrewDog PLC and its 14,691 individual shareholders, I would like to issue a formal apology to the Portman Group for not giving a shit about today’s ruling. Indeed, we are sorry for never giving a shit about anything the Portman Group has to say, and treating all of its statements with callous indifference and nonchalance.”
“Unfortunately, the Portman Group is a gloomy gaggle of killjoy jobsworths, funded by navel-gazing international drinks giants. Their raison d’être is to provide a diversion for the true evils of this industry, perpetrated by the gigantic faceless brands that pay their wages. Blinkered by this soulless mission, they treat beer drinkers like brain dead zombies and vilify creativity and competition. Therefore, we have never given a second thought to any of the grubby newspeak they disseminate periodically.”
“While the Portman Group lives out its days deliberating whether a joke on a bottle of beer is responsible or irresponsible use of humour, at BrewDog we will just get on with brewing awesome beer and treating our customers like adults. I’m sure that makes Henry Ashworth cry a salty tear into his shatterproof tankard of Directors as he tries to enforce his futile and toothless little marketing code, but we couldn’t give a shit about that, either.”
“We sincerely hope that the sarcasm of this message fits the Portman Group criteria of responsible use of humour,” he added.Bravo!
It would be nice if the rest of the industry could be as forthright. It's not like rolling over to prohibitionists is going to stop the denormalisation campaign, may as well go down fighting I'd say.
13 comments:
Not only very funny, but this sort of response is what should be dished out more often.
Absolutely fuckin' glorious.
“Dead Pony Club’s packaging was identified as being in potential breach of the Code for its association with bravado and immoderate consumption, and for placing undue emphasis on the strength and intoxicating effect of the alcohol in the product,” it said in a statement.
Undue emphasis on its strength?! Its 3.8% for crying out loud.
Apparently, the low strength implied that you can drink it quickly. {sigh}
How refreshing to see a company telling it like it is. As you say, DP, they will be damned if they do and damned if they don't, so they may as well tell the truth.
...the Portman Group is a gloomy gaggle of killjoy jobsworths, funded by navel-gazing international drinks giants
Nice turn of phrase there, too. I've never drunk Brewdog beer (not really surprising since I've only spent about three weeks out of the last 13 years in UK, and as I understand it, they are relative newcomers), but if and when I'm in Old Blighty again, I will seek out their beer and drink a toast to their board of directors. They set a fine example to the rest of the industry.
I'll have a pint of that !
Fucking top notch. More of that please!
I thought it might be a good idea to order a case but it's out of stock on thier website
That's applied homoeopathy!
The more diluted the higher the potency.
So beware of non-alcoholic beer. One drop might kill you!
Well done Brewdog, I have to say they have been a favourite of mine for some time now. I love their attitude and their product. good on James Watt and Martin Dickie for their continuing irreverence for things trivial within the brewing industry. Carry on sticking it to the portman group, hopefully with bells and a bit of barbed wire on.
BrewDog has opened a London craft beer shop called Bottle Dog. Their takeaway flasks are called "growlers".
I'm not normally a drinker, but when I visit the UK, I'll be sure to order a BrewDog or two in honor of the wonderful people who wrote that "apology"!
A small ray of light in the darkness
Superb!
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