Friday, 20 February 2009

Safety Advice For Lady Drivers


A little bit of worldly advice for a couple of female drivers I encountered today.

If you see something like this ...


... and I see something like this ...


... but I am close to the narrow bit and you are very very far away, the correct approach is not to violently accelerate towards the narrowing of the road in order to sound your horn/flash your lights and wave your arms/give the wanker sign in unjustified outrage. You wouldn't have got there in time to cause an accident if you were Lewis Hamilton.

I have been driving for 25 years, 15 of those professionally, and am polite enough to smile genially whilst waving sweetly at you (gets 'em every time). One day, though, you will inflict your ill-judged aggression on the wrong guy, who will stop, thereby blocking you off, and proceed to gouge your eyeballs out with a rusty chisel.

Stay safe. Don't act like a psychopathic fucktard and deliberately seek confrontation where none is necessary.

This has been a Puddlecote Information Film Blogpost




11 comments:

The Filthy Engineer said...

So you've come across my wife at last.......

SaltedSlug said...

*snigger* ^He^ said come across my wife. Fnarr Fnarr.

I am feeling ever so juvenile today.
As you were.

timbone said...

TFE??? I thought that was my wife?.....or was it my........TAXI!!!

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Well timed Dick, they have just put up a couple of sets of those signs around here.
Once the Ladies work out what they mean they will undoubtedly behave as you describe.
I've been driving for 30 years and find that these days there is a certain type of young female driver who seem to think they need to prove a point when driving.
Like yourself, I'm all for a quiet life and will happily give way to help the world go round.

btw, this is not sexist prejudice, it is a sexist observation.

Stop Hitting Me Officer said...

Motoring misandry.

Catweazel said...

It occurs to me that those of us who have been driving since forever have managed perfectly well in the past without all these damned signs. I may be mistaken, but didn't we used to apply common sense in th'olden days? When approaching a bottle-neck situation on the road, it was 'first come, first served' with a mutual friendly wave or flash of the headlights acknowledging that someone else had given way/thanked you for giving way. It's the signs that make the problem. It's that 'I've got the right of way' attitude that takes over common courtesy and common sense. Unfortunately, the modern breed of drivers appear to be unable to use any form of judgement and rely on 'signs'. And in the interests fairness, it's not just females either!

Stop Hitting Me Officer said...

Aah, Common Courtesy and Common Sense (and other extinct species). How I miss them. Does anyone have a photograph they could post, just for old times' sake?

p.s., Totally agree, Catweazel, it's not just the females - some of the women are atrocious drivers too.

timbone said...

"...it was 'first come, first served' with a mutual friendly wave or flash of the headlights..."

You were lucky Catweazel, I could not even flash when I satrted driving...

Dick the Prick said...

'First come' - 'couldn't flash' is this a Lord Ahmed thread?

Taxi

JuliaM said...

"I've been driving for 30 years and find that these days there is a certain type of young female driver who seem to think they need to prove a point when driving."

And they all seem to drive Saxos...

Bearwitch said...

I tend to agree with Catweazel on this one. It does appear that the older drivers will quite happily give way on roads even when it is their right of way. Why is everyone in so much of a rush these days that they have to barge through at the risk of an accident.

Some of the chelsea tractors on school runs are the worst - take up half my side of the road and insist on being given priority probably cos they have their little dears who can't walk a couple of hundred yards down the road. A word to the wise - if you can't handle it, don't bloody buy it!

I remember being in the car of one female who announced proudly that she had been told she could drive like a man - I was terrified with the risks she took and never got in a car with her again.

Anyway, this evening you would have been proud of me, Mr P. I had the same signs and was on the priority side. However, 2 cars appeared to already be committed to going through so I just waited patiently and was rewarded with a wave and a smile from both. The thing is, I didn't even think about it being my priority and probably never will in the same situation. Not all us women types are the same!