You know we're in a financial fix when government advocates taxing us twice for the same service.
People who buy chewing gum, cigarettes or fast food should be made to pay extra to clean up Britain's growing litter problem**, according to an influential committee of MPs.
Michael Jack, the Chairman of the EFRA Committee, said people must become more responsible for what they throw away.
"What we are advising is that if you are going to make a mess then you should make a contribution to clearing it up afterwards," he said
Because, every night, little elves scamper into civic offices, up and down the country, and deposit funds into council coffers to pay for street cleansing. Apparently.
Or could it be that, whether we wish to or not, we already pay a hefty wedge called council tax, an element of which pays for keeping the streets clean? Of course we fucking do, yet still a significant number of self-righteous dullards will nod in enthusiastic agreement as the state thrusts its thieving claws deep into our pockets yet again.
For something we have been funding since Queen Victoria was on the throne, and still do.
Meanwhile, how many street cleaners would £4.8m pay for?
The crackdown will also see the appointment of the city's first full-time tobacco control officer who will be based in the council's trading standards section. [It] follows a decision by the Department of Health to award Hull £200,000 to develop initiatives to reduce smoking.
The city was one of 24 areas across the country to receive funding after being identified as having one of the highest smoking rates per head of population.
You want your bins picked up without fuss? The streets cleaned? The roads gritted when necessary? The schools kept open?
Don't be so damn stupid. These are optional extras now.
Whatever gave you the idea that your council tax pays for anything else but diversity officers, GLBT support groups, roving tobacco controllers, translators, parking wardens, nutriton advisers and recycling compliance inspectors?
Councils aren't made of money, you know. They can't pay for sweeping the roads and keep their pet PC projects. Something's got to give, so cough up the dosh ... again.
** Growing problem? This is linguistic bollocks too. Streets, and buildings, have never been cleaner.