Thursday, 30 December 2010

The, Err, Imperfect Study

The Weasel yesterday waxed lyrical about his idea of a perfect study, recalling evocative descriptions of historical and fictional British 'workstations'. You know the type.

He then goes on to describe his own.

As I sit writing this, in front of me, on the desk is:

A calculator
A pile of empty cds
A pile of music cds
A ball of string
A box set of Fred Astaire movies
A coffee cup
An OS map of Skegness
A packet of Postcards
A Magnusson metal tape measure
Bits of assorted paper

No. This place in which I sit is not a study at all, it is a collection of accusations.
Oh, I dunno. That all seems rather quaint in comparison to the bombsite I am currently looking at.

A 2009 Stan James diary
A tin of fuse wire for the box which was removed in May
A water damaged mobile
A tape measure (Bingo!)
A pint of Carlsberg
A Brahma beer towel
Two mini screwdrivers
A picture of Hazel O'Connor, Toyah and Susan Anne Sulley (Brit Awards 1983)
A half eaten bag of Haribo jelly babies
Revenge of Arcade CD
Scattered No2ID and Big Brother Watch stickers
A tub of broken or leaking pens
An unopened £10 webcam
An empty T-Mobile bag
A menu for the Bluu Bar in Birmingham
A mess of incomprehensibly scribbled post-it notes
A pair of girl's gloves (?)
Dust ... lots of it

And that's without glancing to the upper shelf which I try not to do for the sake of my peace of mind - I think it's high time I did a spring clean.

I'm tagging Al Jahom, Mark Wadsworth and Man Widdicombe meme-like to see if they'll share their own 'study' experience ... nosey bonk that I am.

Addendum: Sod it, let's ask what an upside-down desk is like too, if and when he leaves the grog alone and gets back to it, that is.


23 comments:

Mark Wadsworth said...

I shall consider myself tagged.

manwiddicombe said...

I also feel the twitch of the tagging. Am attempting to make sense of the chaos surrounding me .. .. ..

Dick Puddlecote said...

Nice to see it, MW (x2). :)

A good contribution from Facebook.

"Home workstation, two filing cabinets and an off-cut of kitchen worktop across the top and a PC on top of that."

Perhaps we should make this a survey and get the BBC to publish it ... can't be difficult on their past form.

Richard Allan said...

From top to bottom, I have:

Ethernet cable, broken desk lamp, some coke cans, blank CD spindle, Ultima Online: The Second Age manual, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, Rodriguez' Mexico trilogy, Licence to Kill, Diablo 2, metal coke bottle from Val Thorens, multivitamins, old can of Captain & Coke, Simcity 4 Deluxe, Cryptonomicon, iPod Touch, external DVD drive. Plus my laptop, natch.

The Filthy Engineer said...

Why does everyone except me, seem to have a tape measure on their desk? Is it to measure blog posts or something? Am I missing some essential aid to computing?

Dick Puddlecote said...

Richard: You sound well posh ;)

TFE: Don't ask me, it wasn't until I looked around for this post that I knew it was there! Having said that, perhaps the tape measure really is a blogging must, rather like Arthur Dent's space-travelling towel.

Simon Cooke said...

I am very concerned at the lack of either an ashtray or tobacco - have you lost it man?

All Seeing Eye said...

Richard may sound posh, but I can top that with a humidor balancing on top of my printer.

Furor Teutonicus said...

Damn WIERD! I have just looked around my computer room and found, without moving from my seat, One tape measure (!), 3 steel rules of assorted sizes, 10 (YES TEN!!!) Builders folding rules, and a "foot rule" in Prussian inches, and two scale rules.

NOW you have my meassure.

Furor Teutonicus said...

Oh, and a Britsh army pace stick!

Anonymous said...

Blimey, I don't even blog but I've got a steel tape measure on mine as well, what's going on?

Furor Teutonicus said...

It's a plot, the rulers are taking over the world....well, they WOULD wouldn't they?.

Anonymous said...

receipts, chargers,cotton buds, audio cds, referendim petition, 2xscart leads, pipe, lighter,eadphones, old battery,clothes peg,xmas tree bulb,chinagraph pencil (broken) mouth prgan (broken) . . . at least when it's all over we can say "numerous studies have proved . . ."

George Speller

Dick Puddlecote said...

Simon: Those items go without saying. :)

Furor & Anon: The survey is proving a strong correlation between tape measures and, well, something. I'll do a deep analysis later.

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

Tagged as well DP...

...mine's here.

James Higham said...

Mine's a chair and a laptop.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Now, what made me think that everybody else was neat and tidy?

I just noticed a sort of anomaly that sums up my life:

beside the desk is champagne cooler, made out of tin and fabric, with Lanson Black Label and the Wimbledon logo on it. Next to this is an empty lager can bearing the legend "specially selected by ASDA"


Re: tape measure. A bloke should never be more than three metres from his tape measure. The last thing I measured with it was an icicle -

http://wrinkledweasel.blogspot.com/2010/12/phwoarrr-its-whoppa.html

May you have a pleasant and rewarding new year Dick.

JuliaM said...

Clearly, the tape measure is a male thing... ;)

Simon Cooke said...

Not a tape measure in sight here - just a pen, a couple of uSB sticks, another laptop (sorry two) and a neat pile of torn strips of paper for making notes....

TheBigYin said...

This has got me going all day DP so I made a video of the F2C office, warts and all:

http://blip.tv/file/4578311

Can't be bothered embeding it in a link so you have to copy and paste.

Dick Puddlecote said...

That must be the most comprehensive survey submission yet, TBY, here's a direct link. :)

Budgie said...

A mess of tangled cables...
Several chargers that I have no idea what for...
A pair of 3D glasses...
Two pairs of sunglasses (one lens each)...
An unopened letter from HMRC...
Miscellaneous bits of e fags + accessories...
Two mugs....
A tube of solid glue (opened in various parts of its anatomy)...
An opened but uncooperative webcam (freebie from inkjet cartridge supplier, which probably explains why if doesn't work)..
A monkey wrench...
A thing that fits on the end of silicon tubes...
A letter from Bassettlaw Council ORDERING me to pay someone else's council tax...
A signed postcard from Nurse Gladys Emmanuel (I treasure that)...
Approximately 10 roller ball pen caps (no roller ball pens)...
A pen type thing with a magnet on the end that extends a couple of feet (basically a car aerial with a magnet that you can put in your top pocket)...
Some copper coins (mostly stuck to the desk)...
miscellaneous stains and muck....
Someone else's dog ends...
Random bits of paper (including grubby post-it notes) that won't go away.....
A desk tidy (jam jar)...
A wallet stuffed with receipts (no cash)...
Two cuddly toys (OK, some woolley animal things, similar to willy warmers but smaller...designed to fit over pens - essential items, presents from Glastonbury visit by daughter)...
Oh yeah, just noticed. A laptop and...a tape measure (out of a Christmas cracker)..


Didn't I do well?

Dick Puddlecote said...

Budgie: Miscellaneous bits of e fags + accessories...

Yeah, they do add to the clutter, don't they? I'm not sure which atomisers are working and which aren't.

I'm getting spooked by the tape measures now ... it's a worldwide phenomenon!