Spam and Bean Pie
1 tin of spam
2 cans of baked beans
1 bag of short crust pastry mix
1) In a shallow oven-proof dish, slice the spam with some kind of knife.
2) Carefully pour in the beans, remembering first to open the cans.
3) Now, this is the tricky bit. Get someone who knows what she is doing to make the pastry and spread it over your lovingly-crafted filling.
4) Put it in the oven
5) Check 10 minutes later and realise that you forgot to turn the bloody oven on.
6) Turn oven on and bake for about 20 minutes at 200°c (gas mark something or other).
7) 20 minutes later, remove from the oven and serve with Smash or more beans.
8) Two hours later, notice that the oven is still on and turn it off.
Move over Delia, there's a new kid in town.