Friday 20 May 2011

Kill The Clown!

Wipe that smile off your face, you child murdering bastard!

Just as we thought it had all gone a bit quiet, the tobacco control template leaps into the limelight once again.

The US is awash with media reports of a letter produced - subtlely on a website designed for the very purpose - by a plethora of health professionals demanding. Wait for it. That McDonalds 'retire' Ronald McDonald.

Below an emotive image of a doctor cuddling a toddler, in just 569 words they manage to gemmy the word 'children' in 12 times and include astounding lies such as ...

This generation may be the first in U.S. history to live shorter lives than their parents
... which, as we know, is execrably untrue. And even if it was, with millions of confounders in this wild and diverse world we inhabit it cannot ever be laid exclusively at the door of McDonalds, or any other food provider come to that. But they do.

Because, you see, the letter bemoans the poor, cashless and pathetic nature of their righteous campaign. They're brassic, so they are.

Our efforts cannot compete with the hundreds of millions of dollars you spend each year directly marketing to kids.
Yet they can produce a pretty funky website which regales us all of how Ronnie is "the engine behind the health epidemic". Yes, all of America's problems are Ronald's work, the evil grinning bastard.

Since the inception of Ronald McDonald, obesity rates have more than tripled among American children and the prevalence of diet-related conditions like type 2 diabetes has skyrocketed.
The thing is, you're being beaten about the head by Ronald to part with your cash. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it, you have been subsumed into poisoning your kids with his food. When they ask for it, you just do as you have been programmed.

You may not think so, but the hideous chimps who produced this crap are absolutely certain of it.

[McDonalds] pin responsibility for the epidemic of diet related disease on a breakdown in parental responsibility.

As health professionals, we know that parents exercising responsibility for their children’s diets and physical activity is vital. We also know – and the Yale Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity agrees – that no authoritative data indicate a breakdown in parental responsibility.
In other words, the ability of parents to say 'no' to kids hasn't changed at all. Oh no. It's just that the clown's face has hypnotised them into not being able to around a McDonalds outlet.

It's not feckless and lazy parenting, it's a plastic statue outside a plastic fast food eaterie which is destroying the world and everything in it.

Yes, of course it's a pile and is steaming. Isn't everything these disgusting people rant on about? The site mentions that "more than 550 health professionals and institutions in all 50 states" are behind this. If that's the case, I am scared for the American public being served medically by such vacuous idiots.

I mean, where on earth did they get this idea of 'retiring' a cartoon-like character? What made them so optimistic that it could be achieved?

I'll give you one guess. Lo and behold, it just happens to be their inspiration and guiding light.

Couldn't happen here? Oh do keep up, for Chrissakes.


Anonymous said...

Maybe I'm not qualified to comment, because I don't touch the stuff and nor do my children. That's because it's nasty crap and I like to eat what I call real food. I don't have any compulsion to tell anyone else what to eat though. Simple inescapable fact - it doesn't matter what you eat, you will die.

However, if I did fancy eating a dodgy burger, that disturbing clown thing would put me right off, and probably scare the children too. Perhaps these righteous nutters have got it backwards - they should be campaigning for more prominence for the freaky clown.

Simon Cooke said...

Commented on this campaign a while ago:

Dr Evil said...

Interestingly the fellow in the news who just ate his 25,000th McDonald's burger isn't fat. He's quite thin and in his fifties.

It is bad parenting, not saying no, indulging kids plus the lack of exercise in these modern times. They don't cycle or kick a ball around.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Simon: Yes, I saw that and have been hearing rumblings of these people, but they mass press-released their letter this week all over the US and it has been picked up by just about every major newspaper. And so pervasive has been their ridiculous propaganda, people are actually supporting them!

A majority of the world's population is now officially living in cloud cuckoo land.

English Pensioner said...

"more than 550 health professionals and institutions in all 50 states"
Eleven per state, hardly an overwhelming number!

Bill Sticker said...

I'm with Englsh Pensioner on this one. '550 Health professionals and institutions in 50 states' works out at an average of 11 per state. The term 'Health professional and institution' covering everyone from a Doctors practice to an admissions clerk with a web site.

Yerrss. Looked at from that perspective, the 'campaign against Ronald' is hardly impressive.

Angry Exile said...

Okay, fine, as long as he's replaced with Obnoxio.

Anonymous said...

"Since the inception of Ronald McDonald, obesity rates have more than tripled ..."

More likely the cause,

"Since the inception of smoking bans and tobacco denormalisation, obesity rates have more than tripled ..."

prog said...

Before Ronald invaded, fish and chips were a major part of the staple diet of millions (in towns anyway). Generous portions of battered fish with chips, deep fried in beef dripping plus (optional) 'scrumps', all topped with what is now considered to be the maximum weekly recommended salt intake for a medium sized primary school. All washed down with Tizer.

I'm lovin it...(apart from the Tizer perhaps).

Mark Wadsworth said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, McDonalds get so much grief for evilly tempting children into their restaurants with the offer of a free gaudy toy that they ought to close their restaurants, and instead open up a chain of toy shops which sell cheap gaudy toys for £1.99 with a free portion of chips, fish fingers and a soft drink.

Then of course the bansturbulary will be attacking them as an evil, exploitative toy shop which tempts children with the offer of free unhealthy foods.

Poor old McDonalds, the food's not all that, their coffee is disgusting but the toilets are excellent.

nisakiman said...

Sounds to me like the copywriter who came up with the "Ronald MacDonald" character to front the ads is due a massive bonus. It's the stuff of an ad-man's wet dreams.

Liz said...

But surely Ronald Macdonald has established family centres for those whose children are in hospital - these arses want to throw the bay u with the bathwater

James Higham said...

Cannot ever be laid exclusively at the door of McDonalds

Not exclusively, no.

Sam Duncan said...

Presumably they'd also have to close this down as well.

By the way, I love all the style and source warnings on that Wikipedia article. Funny how you never seem to get them on lefty “charities'” pages.

Anonymous said...

They should get rid of Ronald Mcdonald simply because he reminds me of that fucking Pennywise from "It"