Kill The Clown!

Wipe that smile off your face, you child murdering bastard!

Just as we thought it had all gone a bit quiet, the tobacco control template leaps into the limelight once again.

The US is awash with media reports of a letter produced - subtlely on a website designed for the very purpose - by a plethora of health professionals demanding. Wait for it. That McDonalds 'retire' Ronald McDonald.

Below an emotive image of a doctor cuddling a toddler, in just 569 words they manage to gemmy the word 'children' in 12 times and include astounding lies such as ...

This generation may be the first in U.S. history to live shorter lives than their parents

... which, as we know, is execrably untrue. And even if it was, with millions of confounders in this wild and diverse world we inhabit it cannot ever be laid exclusively at the door of McDonalds, or any other food provider come to that. But they do.

Because, you see, the letter bemoans the poor, cashless and pathetic nature of their righteous campaign. They're brassic, so they are.

Our efforts cannot compete with the hundreds of millions of dollars you spend each year directly marketing to kids.

Yet they can produce a pretty funky website which regales us all of how Ronnie is "the engine behind the health epidemic". Yes, all of America's problems are Ronald's work, the evil grinning bastard.

Since the inception of Ronald McDonald, obesity rates have more than tripled among American children and the prevalence of diet-related conditions like type 2 diabetes has skyrocketed.

The thing is, you're being beaten about the head by Ronald to part with your cash. There is absolutely nothing you can do about it, you have been subsumed into poisoning your kids with his food. When they ask for it, you just do as you have been programmed.

You may not think so, but the hideous chimps who produced this crap are absolutely certain of it.

[McDonalds] pin responsibility for the epidemic of diet related disease on a breakdown in parental responsibility.

As health professionals, we know that parents exercising responsibility for their children’s diets and physical activity is vital. We also know – and the Yale Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity agrees – that no authoritative data indicate a breakdown in parental responsibility.

In other words, the ability of parents to say 'no' to kids hasn't changed at all. Oh no. It's just that the clown's face has hypnotised them into not being able to around a McDonalds outlet.

It's not feckless and lazy parenting, it's a plastic statue outside a plastic fast food eaterie which is destroying the world and everything in it.

Yes, of course it's a pile and is steaming. Isn't everything these disgusting people rant on about? The site mentions that "more than 550 health professionals and institutions in all 50 states" are behind this. If that's the case, I am scared for the American public being served medically by such vacuous idiots.

I mean, where on earth did they get this idea of 'retiring' a cartoon-like character? What made them so optimistic that it could be achieved?

I'll give you one guess. Lo and behold, it just happens to be their inspiration and guiding light.

Couldn't happen here? Oh do keep up, for Chrissakes.