Craving An Indian Feast

I'm sure many of you, like me, will be eagerly looking forward to the next instalment of the moveable comedy feast that is the WHO's 'Conference of the Parties' (COP).

You may remember we had a hell of a lot of fun two years ago when COP6 was held in Moscow. Well, this year's barking bansturbator beano is taking place in New Delhi in November and is already shaping up to be even more laughable than the last!

As Snowdon noted the other day, HuffPo has offered us an hors d'oeuvre by reporting on how the FCTC's endemic neuroticism is creating hilarious outcomes that even we, who realise how absolutely crackers they are, couldn't possibly have expected.

In a document obtained from the FCTC, the organizers ask for support to “ensure the exclusion of representatives and officials from...fully or partially state-owned tobacco industries, including state tobacco monopolies.” Specifically, the FCTC hopes to ban certain “appointed and elected officials from executive, legislative and judicial branches” from the meeting. 

This effort to exclude delegates with associations with tobacco production is so broad that it will almost certainly prohibit finance ministers, economic development secretaries, public health officials, and even presidents and prime ministers representing countries that operate state-owned tobacco growing or manufacturing operations, or engage in marketing and trade efforts. 

As a result, countries including China, Cuba, Egypt, Bulgaria, Thailand and even India, the convention’s host country, may have a hard time having delegates approved to attend the event and vote on issues that impact their citizens.

Yes. If the tobacco control moon-howlers running COP7 were rigorous and consistent, they really would have to exclude the host nation India. But, of course, there is no such thing as a consistent and objective tobacco controller so we know this won't happen, they'll just shift the goal posts as they usually do.

Because, you see, in advance of the world's most astounding lunatics arriving in a few months, the Indian government is doing its very best to impress them with some stunning fuckwittery of its own.

Electronic Nicotine Delivery System (E-Cigarettes) have been seized in Hoshiarpur, Mohali, Ludhiana, Sangrur & Jalandhar court case have been launched. The first conviction of the world in case of E cigarette was ordered by SAS Nagar, District and Session Court, amounting to one lakh Rs Fine and three years' imprisonment.

Yep, in a world class display of totalitarian brainlessness, the Indian state is actually boasting about how they were the first on the planet to jail someone for quitting smoking.

A DO was issued by Principal Secretary, Health to Secretary to Government Of India, Ministry Of Health and Family Welfare regarding guidelines for initiating action against manufacturing and sale of Electronic Nicotine Delivery System (ENDS) popularly called E-Cigarettes.

Naturally! With pharma-funded WHO due in town, competition for pharma-manufactured NRT products must be eradicated at all costs.

In first of a kind initiative anywhere in India, a special 3 day campaign 16th to 18th March 2015 was conducted in all districts of Punjab to act against abuse of Tobacco and Nicotine and to detect any ... illegal sale of E-Cigarettes.

Boy they're keen to impress the vape-hating WHO aren't they? Haven't they read the scientific claims as to efficacy and risk-reduced potential of e-cigs from fellow 'public health' organisations like the Royal College of Physicians and Public Health England?

Perhaps. But evidence? When you're a 'public health' official in India you don't need no steenking evidence ... you just make it up.

“We have banned e-cigarettes today,” then-health minister UT Khader told the Times of India. “The decision has been taken on the recommendation of the committee on cancer prevention.” He went on to explain to the paper that a study had been conducted that showed large numbers of children becoming addicted.  

A vaper took it upon himself to file a Right to Information request (similar to an American or British Freedom of Information request) with the government, asking for information on the study quoted by Khader. According to a story by reporter Rakesh Prakashi this week in the Times, the response was negative. There had been no study done. 

Members of the city’s vaping community (e-cigarette users) mostly young techies, have taken the Right to Information (RTI) route to debunk the government’s claim that the ban was based on scientific studies. The RTI reply they received from the Tobacco Control Division of the Union ministry of health and family welfare categorically says “no study research analysis is available” on the harmful effects of e-cigarettes.

Now, I often write about the incredibly shonky junk science that the tobacco control industry routinely pumps out, but at least they actually do write some junk science. In India they just pretend they did.

I've mentioned it many times before but, y'see, this is why I love e-cigs. They are like a heat-seeking missile in zeroing in on the corruption and evidence-free deceit the vile, snobby nanny statists in the tobacco control industry has traded on for decades. They also prove conclusively that nothing the 'public health' community has ever done in relation to tobacco has ever had anything to do with health.

If the FCTC (and our own orgs like ASH who collaborate and support their idiocy) were decent human beings, they would denounce India jailing vapers for no reason whatsoever and condemn the country banning e-cigs without any evidence that proves they are dangerous. But they're not decent human beings so New Delhi as a venue in November makes perfect sense.

I mean, considering that the anti-smoking bandwagon of tax thieves didn't shy away from being hosted by a mad dictator in April; and that the FCTC's biennial comedy week is happy to pay the North Korean government to attend its junkets; loves those nice guys in Zimbabwe; and didn't even think twice about throwing cash at Moscow in 2014 despite the persecution of gays and planes being bombed out of the sky with 298 people on board, they're not going to think twice about a few ex-smokers rotting in Indian prisons, now are they?

The WHO and repulsive basket nations seem like a match made in heaven so, judging by India's recent bizarre fruitcakery, their being installed as the venue for the FCTC's showcase event in November is obviously an inspired decision. I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to the shenanigans in India as early indications promise that it may be a feast of fun to even exceed Moscow for side-splitting stupidity.

Dependent on smooth running of the new Puddlecote Inc contract, I still haven't ruled out using some of the new income to finance popping over there and witnessing the hilarious paranoia first hand in New Delhi. If I do, I get the message that I should probably leave my 'illegal' e-cig and liquid at home and just buy state-endorsed lit tobacco instead.

Bravo FCTC, bravo!