Monday 20 April 2009

You'll Eat What We Tell You

Pin your ears back for some more bansturbating nonsense. This time, from Waltham Forest Council.

A fast food outlet has been shut down for setting up too close to a school.

Police and council officials raided Bamboo Joint in Leytonstone, east London, to post a closure order because the takeaway broke new rules which ban hot foot outlets near schools, parks or leisure centres.

Yes, you read that right. Raided by police. For selling jerk chicken.

It's further fallout (as referenced here previously) from Jamie Oliver's best-selling TV series, which has led to a frenzy of mutual climax-inducing totalitarianism from the righteous.

Here's the timeline. The mockney moron produces a show which, quite rightly, points out the dearth of healthy options in school meals. Ed Balls, being the prize wanker that he is, jumps on the celebrity bandwagon and demands kneejerk action.

"There is no point in banning junk food and raising the quality of lunches in schools, if teenagers can simply go to eat unhealthy food from neighbouring take-aways," says Mr Balls.

Therein completely missing the point of living in a free society and the concept of personal choice, but that's by the by. Waltham Forest, being a hellish combination of Labour idealistic bullshit and Liberal Social Democrat nodding-righteously-at-the-latest-fuckwit-fad, then scramble to be the first in the country to pass a byelaw which is so ill thought-out as to be laughable.

Waltham Forest will become the first local authority in the country to impose such rules.

The proposals will prevent chicken shops, burger bars and similar outlets from opening up within 400 metres of schools, parks and youth centres and restrict their opening hours.

Note that parks and youth centres have been added (as have leisure centres), it's important later.

Result? Self-regarding local authority nerds storm-trooping into a caribbean food outlet bolstered by the might of the Met.

Jamie, me ole' mukka, is this what you intended? Whaddya reckon, geezer?

[Clyde Loakes] added: "This fast food outlet has not got planning permission and has absolutely no chance of getting it, because of its proximity to a park and a school, so we're closing it down."

He's well hard, ain't he? Clyde Loakes, the hammer of the rice and peas cartel. He has even declared an 'exclusion zone' around schools, the obnoxious dictatorial cockmonger.

Bamboo Joint, which has been operating for about six weeks, is within the exclusion zones around Tom Hood Secondary School, Mayville Primary School and Langthorne Park.

According to Waltham Forest's own site, their councillors advocated that 400 metres was to be the arbitrary limit.

Councillors agreed on 24 March, that no new fast food outlets should open within 400 metres of schools, parks or leisure centres

Yet putting the postcodes into reveals that Tom Hood is 593 metres as the crow flies, and Mayville Primary 537 metres.

Were they sailing away, but with fryers primed, General Belgrano-like, or something? If it were my living being destroyed, I'd sue the fuckers, and I reckon I'd have a good case.

Jocular Jamie's drive (and as a result, Ed Balls's) was focussed on schools, remember. However, Waltham Forest, as you may have observed, threw a few other places into the equation, just for good measure.

So it all boils down to this business being persecuted simply because it is a spitting distance from Langthorne Park. Oliver's idea may have been a worthy one, but his crusade has been hijacked by a government minister desperate for attention, enacted by a council leader gagging to big up his sad, shitty existence, resulting in a business being shut down for being too close to where people freely go, people who might freely like to exercise their own choice to consume the food on offer.

Now for the obligatory (these days) fake charity bit.

Waltham Forest Council leader Clyde Loakes said: "Residents have told us they wanted us to take action against the proliferation of fast food outlets and we're doing exactly that."

This was, naturellement, done via a typical Labour 'public consultation'. Its circulation was 11,000 which garnered 304 replies. The council's consultation statement [pdf], though, heavily emphasised what they termed 'key respondents'. Head teachers and health professionals were prominent, but none more so than one Jack Winkler, who Waltham Forest deem as a bit of an expert.

Professor Jack Winkler, Director of Food and Nutritional Policy at London Metropolitan University expressed support for the document and provided the following key findings from a recent research paper "The School Fringe: what secondary school pupils buy and eat from the shops around their schools":

• Hot food takeaways contribute to the high fat diet of schoolchildren, and hence to their obesity. The food schoolchildren buy from nearby hot food takeaways contains 46% fat.

• All hot food takeaways offer child-size portions and child-size prices to local schoolchildren. Hence, they constitute powerful competitors to school canteens, used by most pupils who are allowed off the school premises at lunchtime.

I didn't see anything there about parks, did you?

Nor is there anything about parks in Prof Winkler's original report. He talked a lot about what kids eat.

The top ten foods bought in fringe shops included fizzy drinks, chocolate, sweets, crisps, cakes, biscuits and chips

That is, things that kids like, strangely enough. And a lot about where they buy such.

Many more purchases - 70% - were from supermarkets and newsagents.

Best ban those outlets within 400 meters 600 metres too, then. No? Why not?

Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, the fake charity. Here it is.

The report is intended to complement the work currently being done by the School Food Trust in improving the quality of school food in the UK.

As previously referenced.

The School Food Trust was established by the Department for Education and Skills in September 2005.

It won't surprise you to learn that this 'charity' receives nil voluntary donations, yet receives turnover of nearly £9m per annum which helps fund 6 employees earning a salary of £60k or more.

Seriously, how can anyone even think about voting for Labour, or the Illiberal Dems come to that?

Just this one story throws up the gamut of illiberalism, local political self-aggrandisement and political connivance. Government incompetence, local authority exaggeration of minor threats, enforcement of byelaws over and above those authorised by elected personnel, misuse of police resources, and the jackboot of healthism stamping on the face of choice and personal responsibility.

Meanwhile, another business lost and more back-slapping for the public sector.

I wish Labour would just fuck off.


Dick Puddlecote said...

Just to keep it topical, Waltham Forest (predominantly Labour) isn't averse to smears either.

A Labour councillor has been found guilty of falsely branding a Liberal Democrat rival a paedophile and telling electors he had sex with teenage boys.
Miranda Grell slurred gay Lib Dem candidate Barry Smith while campaigning for the Leyton ward in Waltham Forest Council, east London, in 2006.

Unknown said...

Now that I have got over being totally speechless....

Here's a novel idea and I know it will never ever catch on, but why don't they let the kids go out to play? They then burn off thousands of calories and it won't matter if they indulge in some fast food here and there.

I personally think they have their priorities the wrong way round here.

I feel for the poor guy who has sunk his savings into this venture only to be toppled by a bunch of power crazy idiots. They are so bloody smug with it too.

Can I just go a teensy bit O/T please. It is slightly along similar lines. A pub nearby had built a lovely wooden area outside with heaters, lights, nice wooden furniture and very quiet piped in the car park out front shaded by trees. There is a main road there but apparently some local people were complaining about it being an eyesore and noisy. Neither were the case, believe me. There was a petition sent to the local MP (apparently he has a house nearby too) who sent us all letters saying that there had been no complaints but it looks like there was a breach in planning permission and he was asking the council to 'review what I regard as a ludicrous position'. Needless to say the shelter has now been dismantled. Another poor sod losing loadsamoney through what exactly?

This on top of a really shitty Monday too.....I may as well take the non smoking/non drinking pill as I have the suicidal tendencies already....

banned said...

Well researched and presented piece Dick, as usual.
So the kidz will just have to walk further to get their stuff at lunchtime and get back to school late, all the more opportunity for crazed motorists and pedos; nice one Righteous.

I vaguely heard wankBalls on the radio yesterday droning on about a new initiative ensuring that schools provide healthy food for their pupils, haven't I been hearing that for the past forty years or so ?

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

I wish you were on LBC this morning Dick, as they had the think tank representative or some other "funded by my money" state jobsworth reeling off soundbites and then using some Carribean woman whose grasp of English was perhaps an ironical dig at the state of education in this country as it was so comically bad, as the opposition.

The presenter just picked on trivia to support his overinflated ego while completely missing the point of (a) why the schools let the kids out during lunchtimes and (b) why are parents giving children money for fast foods in the first place (i.e. whatever happened to school/parent collective support and agreement)

I wish presenters such as him (former journalist) would have bothered to do a tenth of the research you have just done and save the country from Gorgon's armies of ghouls, zombies and trolls.

This should get into the MSM now!

Once again, it shows up the whole media machine for the cancerous, lethargic and useless monster that it is.

Anonymous said...

School for me for one year of my growthling years was Achmore School, Isle of Lewis, Outer Hebrides (of Scotland). One teacher, twenty pupils of all ages (ten of them Campbells from the same family).

School dinners were delivered in a blue Morris Minor van in metal flasks. Half the time it was herring and boiled potatoes. Since this was considered to be culture shock for me as the only sassenach the teacher would give me an extra pudding by way of Scottish peace offering. Always custard, pastry, lots of sugary whatever. Fantastic.

On the evening of my first day at the school - as the only sassenach - the teacher stopped by to explain to my parents why 'd been in a fight. She explained that she'd heard the ruckus but, since I was obviously winning, she'd let me carry on "because he had to get it out of the way some time and the local kids won't bother him now".

They didn't.

Moral of the story? No idea. But - we all used to walk miles to and from school and we used to play outside for a break in the morning, for lunchtime and a break in the afternoon - running, jumping, biting the tyres of passing cars and lorries and burning off a few calories. It was a normal childhood, not this electronic, cosseted, mobile phone envy filled, McDonald's fuelled shit they call a "childhood" these days.

Can anyone name any great scientists from the last few adult generations? Any great statesmen? Any fantastic leaps in knowledge or ability?

Nope, me neither. Everything these days is done in tiny little controlled steps, with no-one putting their head above the parpapet, just to be safe.

Damn, I can't remember if I'm supposed to be Statler or Waldorf today.

Nurse? Nurse? ...

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

Just read Bearwitch's post: planning permission.
This is a nasty, divisive piece of legislation which allows the state to give permission to anyone seeking favours to build on any piece of land, including Green Belt), overruling even unanimous protestations(including the local council themselves).

I’ll write something in my blog later this week on a situation that occurred here that simply defies belief and shows you the dictatorial power of the State over its people.

DaveA said...

I live one mile from where it is in Leytonstone, I may stand for election against ZanuLabour in the elections.

Words fail me on how petty and power mad councils are.

Also I have eaten West Indian food before. Goat, chicken with rice and peas, what is wrong with that.