COMPANIES. Instead of employing over paid IT staff, simply buy a load of parrots and teach them to say 'turn it off and then on again'.
GENTLEMEN. Next time you are making love with a lady, cross your eyes and Hey Presto! That 3some with twins that you've always dreamed of!
HOMELESS people. Lighten your load by not buying a dog.
GIRLS. GET those old 70s bell-bottoms from the wardrobe, cut the legs off and sew them back on upside down. They will then fit you once more
MUMS. Confuse your children by mixing butter with "I can't Believe It's Not Butter" They won't know what to believe.
Phew! Life just got that little bit easier as Viz Top Tips are now available via Twitter.
Updated very regularly too, so best viewed as additional lunchtime reading along with the Mash.
H/T Liberal England