What does one do when your entire set up is geared around lying, and one of the lies is detected? Go to lie 'B', of course.
National Trust-accredited 'Outstanding lying cunt to be preserved for English historical posterity', Alan Johnson, today donned his sequin-encrusted, spandex drainpipes and has been dazzling the media judges with his genial, see-I'm-not-as-authoritarian-as-the-others, foxtrot of mendacious guff about ID cards.
Mr Johnson added: "People who worked airside were resenting the fact there was compulsion involved.
Now we can have a much more constructive discussion about the issue if we remove that one element of compulsion."
So they won't be compulsory, then. Ever. Apparently.
Sorry, but if Labour, by some miracle, do manage to
I mean, for Chrissakes, haven't we learned how they work yet? By 'we', I mean the pleblic and the fucking newspapers. Didn't the Iraq balls-up highlight their methods enough?
WMDs? Did we say WMDs? We meant regime change actually. Sorry.
There's even a clue in the way the ID cards fiasco was pitched to, and finally rejected by, BALPA members.
... the government announced there would be an 18-month trial, for airside workers at Manchester and London City airports only.
But the pilots union Balpa had complained that its members had effectively been forced into signing up for the cards.
A class piece of work by the airline pilots union, who to their credit, are going to continue to point out to their industry that these baubles (because that's all they are without compulsion) should not be used as a bar to members who don't sign up.
But Labour are spending £5bn on this. Does anyone truly believe they are going to just cut their losses and carry on regardless in pushing a pretty-looking card, which costs a shitload of money to own, if they intend it to be entirely voluntary, and therefore ... err ... irrelevant?
Nope. After all, this shower own half of the banks. It's not going to take much effort to utter a few quiet words in a handful of strategic ears to edge us towards ID cards becoming the 'preferred' (ie obligatory) method of over-the-counter identity.
Customer: But you used to accept my debit card as proof of who I am.
Customer Service Wonk: Not anymore, Sir. If you really need that loan/overdraft/mortgage/insurance**, I'm afraid we insist on an ID card.
Shafted, I think it is termed.
'Jive Bunny' Johnson did reveal, again, a plank of Labour's MO, though. Not that many will have noticed it during their brief time away from Facebook or Heat magazine, I expect.
Mr Johnson said they should not have been sold as the "panacea for tackling terrorism" which he said had been responsible for "messing up" the debate.
For 'panacea', read 'excuse' and you have Labour policy and
Like the panacea for tackling paedophilia is business-crippling wholesale CRB checks. Like the panacea for tackling road deaths is extensive average speed cameras on deserted country roads. Like the panacea for tackling anti-social behaviour is making the middle classes stop drinking wine. Like the panacea for tackling smoking rates is destroying businesses with absurd legislation. Like the panacea for tackling obesity is forcing kids to eat shit they don't want to at school. Like the panacea to fix a failing welfare system is rewarding the feckless with the tax receipts of the working. Like the panacea for tackling crime is to record the DNA of law-abiding citizens.
And, dare we say it, like the panacea to tackle an economy on its fucking knees is to throw stellar sums of money at bloated public services which the country simply can't fucking afford!
Messed up the debate? Labour have deliberately messed up every debate the country has faced in the past decade by their insistence that they, and their state-sponsored righteous chums, know better than 44 million voters.
They don't talk to us anymore. They don't bother listening when we object. They simply follow their own path. If polls confirm public approval, they shout it from the rooftops, if the public disagree in their millions, they sweep it into some sub-committee or delete the evidence entirely from the debate.
The public have been bent over the political Prius in the parliamentary dogging spot, being gang-fucked by the Labour front bench, for so long now that it's beginning to get very sore down there.
Forgive me, then, if I don't volunteer for sloppy seconds on the promise of a proven, incompetent, liar whose agenda is merely that he wants to take control of the shagging rota.
** Delete as appropriate, natch.
UPDATE: Laugh out loud fuckwittery in the same article. Apologies for not incorporating it earlier.
Liberal Democrat home affairs spokesman Chris Huhne said:
"This is another nail in the coffin for the government's illiberal ID cards policy"
... says one of the prime movers in the incredibly 'illiberal' Social Democrats.
Seriously, can anyone point to anything 'liberal' that the Parliamentary Lib Dems haven't opposed? They have their truly liberal elements in Progressive Vision and Liberal Vision, but none of them ever get to hear the division bell. It would be helpful if the yellow menace would dump their fence-sitting, fuck-faced, media-friendly cocks in favour of representatives who were ... I dunno ... liberal, perhaps?