What a wonderful world it would be
I've had something of an epiphany. The scales have fallen from my eyes and I realise that a perfectly risk free existence is the only way forward. And you know what did it for me? A pink Escort Cabriolet, that's what.
It wasn't just pink inside, either, the steering wheel was pink (and fluffy!), as were the seat belts and most of the collection of soft toys filling every space on the parcel shelf and dash.
Doesn't the driver understand that this isn't a toy? it's a one ton killing machine, goddamit! Garish colours are encouraging the young to take up driving cars which contributes to this awful death toll, it must be stopped.
In fact, it's worse than just the real life deaths, take time to think about the millions who will die in the upcoming holocaust if emissions aren't drastically reduced! I mean, won't somebody please think of the children?
We must denormalise driving in the eyes of young people, it's the only way to prevent future road deaths and save the planet.
Making cars in just the one plain colour will take away much of the lustre associated with this dangerous habit. Getting rid of pink, red, green cars - or any other colour come to that - will go a long way to achieving that. Go faster stripes should be banned too, along with shiny alloy wheels and ... oh why not, stereo systems.
Not only that, those fancy logos have to go, too. Prancing horses, roaring lions, iconic lettering, all designed to promote driving as 'cool' to the young. What's more, they keep coming up with funky designs too. Car shapes which look like a woman's bottom, sassy wings, little cars that can park sideways, sunroofs as standard, multi-coloured seats - you name it, the evil motor industry have tried it. If we really must have cars at all, they should be a basic shape, functional and nothing else.
Yes, the motor industry will try to tell you that youngsters aren't attracted to driving because of colouring, sleek lines, and logo design; that they are merely competing with other brands; but their business relies on recruiting young people to replace old motorists who die. They spend billions every year on making car use attractive in order to entice the young into an evil mode of transport which will end up killing thousands of its users, not to mention the millions who will be slaughtered by passive motoring inhalation, and damage to the environment.
We need to encourage kids to take buses and refrain from starting to drive; making all cars one bland colour, in one design (with plain type to identify the manufacturer), and eradicating flashy logos, will go a long way to achieving this.
Granted, there's no evidence that it will actually work, but I think it might so that's good enough. If we get in quickly we can even claim to be the first country in the world to take such a bold step - how great is that!
For a better, risk free, future, it's vital that we make all cars in white NOW. You know it makes sense, Lansley, let's have a consultation, eh?