Think again. The health-obsessed control freaks are way ahead of you, as this guy has found to his cost.
A Polish artist has been warned that he could end up in prison - for painting a supermarket shelf of cans of beer.Don't rush them, Beata love. I'm sure they'll get round to hiding his stuff too, in time.
Police in Cieszyn seized Michal Oginski's canvas, claiming it breached the country's tough alcohol advertising laws and could encourage young people to take up drinking.
The 25-year-old painter said: "I was told by police that my work corrupts youth and promotes alcoholism. But it's just a painting of some beer cans.
"It's part of a series of paintings depicting supermarket products. I've got others of washing powder and sugar. There's nothing sinister or corrupting about it."
His lawyer Beata Lejman explained: "This is absurd and I've never heard of such a ridiculous law. Are they going to confiscate Rembrandt's pictures which show casks of wine?"
Local police chief Kazmierz Plus said: "I don't make up the law - I just uphold it.And that's something which is 'universally' true of all bansturbators - their wicked self-satisfaction must have no possible loophole, even for artistic purposes pour encourager les autres.
"And this painting breaks the Act of Sobriety Upbringing law, which is universally binding."
When the legislation is enacted, anti-tobacco will be pushing to ensure that any use of a visible tobacco product can be classed as a crime. They've been hinting at it for a while, remember?
This story does, of course, also further highlight the foolishness of alcohol afficionados in attempting to draw some distinction between their chosen vice and tobacco.
In the eyes of the public health community, they're just as much a hopelessly weak-willed, industry-manipulated, addicted stain on society as the smoker.
The joy of denormalisation, eh?