My my, Boris Johnson is in a mischievous mood today.
This zap gun beats previous laser guns because its pioneers have understood that you won't really run, you won't try, you won't hurl yourself that extra yard into the ditch unless you fear the tingling zap of retribution. You can't win, you can't hit your enemy, unless you are willing to expose your own breastplate. And isn't that the truth that every child needs to learn? That you can't win unless you are willing to risk the pain of rejection.
All common sense, of course.
But, advocating toys that administer an element of pain to kids? Proud recommendation of stereotypical 'boy toys' almost in response to the recent lefty 'pink stinks' campaign, along with an implied rejection of the guardianista-led concept of gender neutrality? Yes, all of that.
And interwoven in a tale which also hints at gun ownership and repeal of the hunting ban. With one of their hated 'toffs' safely ensconced as Mayor for another two years plus, it's enough to get Labour's back office into an impotent frenzy.
You can almost hear Boris chuckling as he wrote it.