Sunday, 27 December 2009

The Lost Joys

Perhaps it's a self-employed thing, but I tend to be stubbornly resistant to illness while the world is assiduous and active. The moment total relaxation sets in, so does the bastard lurgey.

Sniffles arrived Christmas morning and, after consuming each of the 15 items on the festively-adorned dining table, the ensuing 40 odd hours were reduced to a sluggish torpor with my energy level not much above that of my cat the day after he had been drugged for his knackers to be cut off.

In hindsight, it was only the loud application of energetic early 80s punk and new wave that drove me through cooking the Christmas dinner anyway. If Mrs P hadn't been at the in-laws with the little Ps, and the non-headphone ban on Siouxsie, PiL, Toyah, The Tubes and Buzzcocks had still been in effect, they probably would have been served up oxtail soup and toast instead.

Boxing Day was a dead loss too. Alternating between involuntary shivering and equatorial heat flushes, my legs doggedly refused to give up on a strict work to rule policy, while the other Puddlecotes played a Wii dancing game so energetic that just the possibility of my being invited to participate was almost enough to induce tears.

With symptoms faded, a return to the keyboard sees an RSS feed with over 500 unread items, and a quick read around the blogroll reveals that the righteous have been spending Christmas Day issuing fucking press releases. The saying does mention 'no rest for the rancid, hideous wicked' though, or something like that, so we shouldn't be overly surprised.

I've much catching up to do and would seem to be in a touchy mood, with little things jumping out of the page and being extremely irritating. Such as this.

If the sentence is carried out, it would be the first time an EU national has been executed in China for 50 years.

EU national? Has post-Lisbon federalism kicked in to this extent already?

Expect some Tim Worstall style brevity from here in the next couple of days if this mood lasts.


adwelly said...

Nah - I thought that and then I looked it up. Apparently the last person from anywhere in Europe was executed in China was 1951. Antonio Riva was an Italian implicated in some kind of assassination plot against Mao.

It's just lazy reporting of a press release. No one can be bothered to find out when the last British individual was executed in China. It was probably during the Boxer rebellion or somesuch.

Angry Exile said...

The bloody anti-smoking mob! Jesus Christ, are they ever going to give up on running other people's lives and get some of their own? While I was quitting the toughest part was the constant stream of commercials for anti-smoking campaigns or quitting products. The most pleasurable part was when one of them made the mistake of phoning me for market research. More than three weeks of pent up nicotine starvation mixed with constant reminders of what I was missing on their bastard adverts went into my responses, I can tell you. I made certain they knew that at least one smoker would be immeasurably happier about the giving up process if they'd all quietly die choking to death on their bloody gum or smothered by nicotine patches over the mouth and nose, or failing that just shutting the fuck up. Cunts. I will loath them forever.

subrosa said...

Some men will do anything to avoid having to participate in the festivities. :)

I read that too Dick 'EU national' and was spitting tacks. Too busy to post as I'm still clearing snow. Tea break right now (perhaps about the 10th).

banned said...

Lets just hope that Milipede does not embarrass us all by intervening on Akmal Shaikhs behalf, though EU Foreign affairs Supremo, Cafe Ashtray, will probably do it herself.

Today I met a chap who had spent a wonderful three days with his wife in our most stylish hotel, visiting local relatives for Christmas. The hotel was grand, he said, the food was great, as was the entertainment and so were the staff.
But, when he came to paying the bill, there was a 'sundries' £50.00 surcharge for Smoking In His Room.

He went ballistic, saying that there was no sign telling him not to smoke and demanded to speak to the manager who had made the decision to fine him only to be told that he had "gone for a walk".

His wife was muttering bitterly "they do it because they can". He was talking about writing a letter of complaint to the Hotel General Manager but I suggested that he wrote to the Sole Owner of the Hotel Group and gave him his name, suggesting also that he not complain about the fifty quid but rather that the day manager had left it to his junior staff to spoil his otherwise splendid holiday.

Seems he is something of a 'name' in the print media.

Dick Puddlecote said...

Adwelly: Lazy wouldn't surprise me. I was more struck with the term 'EU National' for a Briton.

AE: Concur entirely, and please carry on loathing. ;-)

Subrosa: Avoiding festivities? Would be true except the result was my avoiding all but two small glasses of wine, and you know I have to be ill for that to happen.

Banned: That's it, crank up my post-chill anger levels. I'd be interested to know how the guy gets on with his complaint. If you hear, please drop me a line

Anonymous said...

Two small glasses of wine? That IS dead! I have the same problem with non-work related illness - not a damn sniffle in term time but once that bloody bell has gone a variety of assorted infections try to make it past the whisky that is a substitute for blood in this ex-teacher.
TTFN and remember "It's medicinal, not alcohol!"
Michael (Too bone idle to go through all this registering lark at my age!)

TheFatBigot said...

I also have the task of preparing the festive feast while the rest of the family visits an ancient in-law who can't get about. I'd love to visit her too, she's a fine old bird, but tummies (young and old) need to be filled and it's hugely flattering that I am nominated to fill them with tasty fare.

Illness during a holiday period is most definitely a self-employed thing, but it never spoils festivities at FatBigot Towers. They tolerate me sneezing into nascent gravy or they get no gravy, and no one suffers any ill effects although it happens at least two years out of three.

Merry Christmas Mr P and a very happy New Year to you and all those dear to you. Thank you for all the entertainment and information you have provided in 2009.

Anonymous said...

Yep, I too have found that since being self-employed, I'm only - and usually - ill during time off!

There's a spray called "Ozium" which is apparently used by airline crew to deal with hotel room smoke.

And, yes, predictably, the anti-smoking mob have got their new kit ready for their fantasy that all smokers want to quit in the new year (sigh). We'll be even more inundated with ads until end January.


Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

Merry Xmas all.

Running my own business for over a decade now, it is true: the only times I get ill are at Christmas or on holiday. Nothing too serious, normally the sniffles but it's great when everyone has flu during Oct/Nov and you seem to develop superhuman powers of immunity to it all then BANG: once the feet are up on the seat and the Laphroaig is uncorked the body's immune system takes a holiday.