This is priceless from Lardy Liam.
The swine flu pandemic is "considerably less lethal" than feared, chief medical officer Sir Liam Donaldson says.
"The first influenza pandemic of the 21st century is considerably less lethal than was feared in advance."
It was flu, Liam, no-one has feared flu since German soldiers wore helmets with pointy metal bits on the top.
Well no-one, that is, except Heat magazine obsessed checkout operatives, attention seekers with a runny nose, furrow-browed local council overthinkers, hypochondriacs, panicky gym-addicted health freaks, OAPs who still live in a past where doctors were considered wise, risk-phobic primary school teachers and the kids they infect with their hysteria, people who fall for e-mail scare spam, OCD sufferers who would shame Howard Hughes, sheep, the morbid, Dot Cotton, and just about anyone who takes Casualty seriously.
OK, quite a lot of people feared swine flu. None more so, however, than highly-paid, saggy-arse health professionals called Liam fucking Donaldson. And, do you know what? I think the worries of the former can be directly linked to the quite laughable over-reaction and fearmongering of the latter.
The veritable panic storm whipped up by this hideous over-filled skin sack in April was stunning.
Professor Sir Liam Donaldson, the government's chief medical adviser, said: "Phase five indicates that WHO considers a global pandemic to be imminent, whereas at phase four a global pandemic is not inevitable. A change to phase five is a signal to countries' governments to ramp up their pandemic preparations – which we are already doing. We have been planning for a situation like this for some years.
Just like the 'look at me' Donaldson-led panic over SARS and Avian Flu. He, remember, was the doom-monger who advocated closing all schools earlier this year. The same guy whose advice to government was, apparently, to prepare the body bags, commandeer mortuaries and dig, dig, dig.
The government is planning to create a series of mass graves to cope with a second outbreak of swine flu in the autumn.
Whitehall officials are also speaking to coffin makers to see if they could meet demands.
Retired doctors may also be called back to work to issue death certificates so GPs can focus on patients.
There was only one person in the UK who created this fear, Liam. It was you. And as UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom pointed out in the summer, you are never correct.
It was the fucking flu, that's all. Yet, on the say so of this serial failure, the more gullible in our society descended into a gibbering, boggle-eyed, head-clutching meltdown.
The rest of us went about daily life without feeling the need to overdose on orange juice, Lemsip and Vicks nasal spray, no matter the increasing urgency of Liam's ego-induced predictions of imminent catastrophe. The Daily Mash put it best in July.
CONCERN was growing last night that the British public is not freaking out quite as much as it was supposed to.
In the last week the government, the media and a range of experts have all thrown more resources at their swine flu panic inducement strategies, including a series of contradictory announcements, random, blood-curdling death tolls and a warning that Britain's fleet of ice cream vans will be needed to store all the dead bodies.
But despite their all-out efforts, millions of people across the country have decided to simply wash their hands twice a day and accept that if they do get swine flu the chances of them dying from it are so small as to be really quite tedious.
Nevertheless the department of health will today urge people to empty their freezers, stressing that is where they will have to store their grandmother until the army can collect her and throw her into a landfill.
Why not just come out and admit it, Liam. You fucked up. Again. Couching your words in such a fashion that it would appear we were all in fear of our very existence is wholly misleading.
You, alone, created the many miles of column copy and the undivided BBC web attention for a good week. It was the word of one miserablist cock, fishing for a WHO placement, against the sanity of those in possession of perspective.
And in doing so, Lardy boy yet again spread fear, panic, costly bandwagon-jumping, and unnecessary anxiety amongst the many who are, unfortunately, led by ignorance, a naïve belief in healthist theocracy, and a lack of a spine.
One can only hope that once Donaldson is kicked out, we get a CMO who will give advice more conducive to the UK public growing a pair of balls. A CMO who can actually see his own without a mirror would be a good start.