A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Asda

I saw my MP campaigning in the local High Street today for the 'yes to AV' campaign. In light of the fact that the man's transparent purpose in life has always been solely to ensure he is elected every five years - and that in doing so he has never knowingly made a decision or vote of which I could remotely approve - I think witnessing his handing out purple balloons is a big red cherry on the top of a cake which has battered me into a choice for this Thursday.

The campaigns on both sides have been rather uninspiring up to now**, and I'd been mulling the idea of not bothering with a process which is little more than a sop to the Lib Dems for their coalition acquiescence. But the piss poor - and arguably desperate - nature of the yes lot has become dramatically more objectionable to me over the last 24 hours or so.

And that is really saying something since they already deserve to lose for repeatedly asserting that the no campaign is "relying on the stupid vote to win". Insults are not an approach for which I have even the remotest respect, as you well know. In fact, such tactics are usually guaranteed to see me enthusiastically lining up in the opposition camp. When you've already been denormalised, the 'stupid' insult is somewhat tired. It's like water off a duck's back, along with filthy, stinking, disgusting and murderer. It does, however, say quite a lot about the nature of those who choose to conduct a debate in such a manner.

Oh yeah, I've been called a tabloid conspiracy theorist before, too, so grubby 'consensus denialist' type barbs set alarm bells ringing too.

My MP's (amateurish and rather pitiful, it has to be said) posturing outside Dorothy Perkins today was on top of the Observer's frantic reframing of the debate earlier. Faced with polls which are looking decidedly dodgy, they dropped all pretence of caring for the country and defaulted to all-out lefty, can't bear-to-lose, me-me-me mode.

In particular, a short-sighted notion has taken hold among many Labour supporters that AV should be opposed for no other reason than the fact that Nick Clegg supports it. The Liberal Democrats, according to this view, betrayed the progressive cause by joining forces with the Tories last May. Sabotaging electoral reform would, it is then conjectured, undermine Mr Clegg, weaken the coalition and hasten its demise.

That analysis is wrong. Given their low poll ratings, the Lib Dems are in no position to quit the government and trigger an election. By contrast, a yes vote would send the right wing of the Conservative party into apoplexy. Tory hardliners think that David Cameron has already conceded too much to the Lib Dems already; some mutter that he is not an authentic Tory. They would turn downright rebellious if AV were passed. That is by far the greater threat to coalition stability.

Oh, I see. It's about how best to destabilise the government and get back to more progressive nonsense, is it? Or, put more bluntly ...

AV referendum: why progressives must unite to vote yes

John Denham, Chris Huhne and Caroline Lucas explain why Labour, Lib Dem and Green voters must put aside party differences to change British politics

Hmm, not me, then. Thanks for the tip, chumps.

Listen, I've heard the point made - time and again - by yes campaigners that (not verbatim, obviously) "yes, we know AV isn't perfect, but once we've got it we can then move to STV/PR/other" {delete as applicable}, and I'm sorry but it's far from convincing. Referenda are rarer than ends of a rainbow in this country, as any EU-sceptic can attest to, so we're not going to see another to fine tune the electoral choice if we vote yes - that is, of course, if a further referendum is what is being suggested here. If the future will be AV being replaced with something better only after being chosen by politicians, then that's infinitely worse.

As for the constituency link which we're all apparently desperate to keep, I can't help feeling that we're being sold a mangy pup. I'd do anything to sever my ties with a profoundly self-serving MP of 14 years' standing, ta very much. He's not so much an avenue of democracy as a barricaded cul-de-sac, and the system as it stands means that writing to other MPs invites the 'you're not my constituent so bugger off' response.

Getting rid of this link and moving to party lists would truly give a lesser party like UKIP, for example, the chance for deserved representation in parliament and would really mean that every vote counted, and that everyone could vote with their conscience and not just in a negative, tactical, manner.

That's why it's not an option, and probably never will be.

Nope, AV is not for me, however flawed FPTP may be. They'll have to try harder to make me believe, I'm afraid.

And in case you are one who still thinks the yes campaigners are salt of the earth, decent, consistent, altruistic sorts who just want us to have our say. Consider the names above (including my MP) who are all wildly enthusiastic about a certain law passed in 2006 which walks all over freedom of choice, personal liberty, and property rights.

Then watch this.

They've got some nerve.

**Mark Wadsworth excepted.