The Sun, The Daily Mail, Financial Times and The Metro - all of which accept comments, by the way - are collectively convinced that the coalition is ditching plain packaging.
So what do prominent tobacco control industry execs have to say on the matter?
A BIG domino falls in #plainpackaging -- UK do introduce. Congrats to all my UK colleaguesguardian.co.uk/society/2013/m…
— Simon Chapman (@SimonChapman6) March 5, 2013
UK squibs on #plainpacks. A nation that once led public health, now mired in mediocrity. BigTobacco rejoices! thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/n…
— Simon Chapman (@SimonChapman6) May 2, 2013
Of course, no-one really knows yet what will happen until after the Queen's speech on Wednesday and the consultation is finally concluded. Hence why the superannuated Aussie Methuselah was stupidly jumping the gun with his congrats just a couple of months ago.
Likewise, we would be just as pathetically naïve if we were to take today's reports at face value. As far as I'm concerned, it's not over till it's over and now is exactly the time you should think about emphasising to your MP that plain packs are definitely NOT wanted. Because you know very well that in the next few days they will be fighting off fake charities, state-funded pressure groups and shroud-waving deludos like a shopkeeper in a zombie film.
Here is how the tobacco control industry officially greeted today's news.
Deborah Arnott, chief executive of the campaign group Action on Smoking and Health (ASH), said reports reducing deaths and improving health were no longer a ‘key purpose’ was ‘shocking’.
"Shocking", apparently, that government appears to have listened to half a million people. "Shocking" that government may have resisted disgraceful rigging of democratic process. And "shocking" that government might not have been taken in by appalling junk science and a dire lack of any evidence whatsoever.
By "shocking", they mean that they're shocked at the thought of the state not falling into line with their increasingly ridiculous and flimsily-based demands. They're shocked that someone may have read their studies rather than heroic press releases bastardising their own evidence, which shows that kids barely notice cigarette packets. They're shocked that the coalition might actually be sticking to their dislike of government lobbying government. And they're shocked that their corruption and appalling hypocritical lies might have been detected.
In summary, shocked that the legislature didn't do what they normally do and bow down meekly to rent-seeking manufactured hysteria and hyperbole.
They're also pretty shocked at the possibility that the far left public health industry's darling bible, The Guardian, may have got it disastrously wrong, while their despised devil Rupert Murdoch's Sun - which they deride as a comical rag - might have published an exclusive that actually turns out to be true.
Whether true or not, today's articles tell us even more about how tobacco control operates, and further emphasises that it's never been about health.
In the meantime, please do send your MP another communication by clicking here.
Oh yeah, and maybe allow yourself a celebratory cigar as it's been quite a good news day on the whole.