Sick Note

The healthist amish are getting bolder. Letters to The Times, no less ... about a clothes shop in Cheltenham.

Sir, In Cheltenham a branch of a clothing retail chain, Jack Wills, was decoratings its window display with records, bottles, clothes — and cigarette butts. We challenged such a strategy as lacking corporate responsibility in its implicit promotion of smoking. Jack Wills responded that it simply reflected “real life” for the 18 to 22 age group and it is not promoting cigarette smoking. Indeed, four months later — as very much younger teenagers pass daily, gazing at the window and shopping at the store — the cigarettes remain. What message is Jack Wills sending them?

Far be it from me to contradict the wimple and hemp-attired advocates of the new social religion in our fair country, personified in the six interfering busybodies who co-signed this incredibly arrogant windbaggery, but what the fuck has it got to do with them?

Might I remind you god-fearing guys and gals (may the word of our Lord, Smithkline Beecham, be praised), that Jack Wills is a company entirely reliant on its own funding for what it does, and has done for decades. It employs its own capital and reserves to back the business, it pays taxes on its profits, as do the other industries which are reliant on its custom. It is entirely self-reliant and is a profit-making benefit to the country. Out of these profits, it employs lots of staff on a decent salary, one of the obligations of which is to make an employers' contribution to national insurance, on their behalf, at the rate of 12.8% of everything they earn above £110 per week.

In short, Jack Wills and their kind pay your fucking wages, you cunts. In spades.

Listen, you've had your say to a private business, they replied with something akin to Arkell v Pressdram, as they are quite within their rights to do. They have broken no laws, are legally sound, so let it drop, eh?

But no, these astonishingly pompous pricks send a letter to the Times, and a particularly poor one at that, when it comes to concealing certain political leanings.

Jack Wills declares its platform as being “fabulously British”. It is an embarrassment to Britain that a national brand so easily ignores the responsibilities necessitated by its promotional privileges.

Who's embarrassed, you deluded, insular cretins? I'm pretty damn sure - in fact, scratch that - I'm fucking certain, that Jack Wills' order book is rammed with foreign nationals wanting a bit of Old English style. Why else would there be a detailed overseas shipping policy on their web-site otherwise?

No embarrassment there, as far as I can see. But then I'm not a righteous, vindictive, lefty leech like these hideously rotten prodnoses.

Perhaps it is unsurprising that Jack Wills’s perspective is distorted, given that it aligns reflecting “real life” with its declared position as “outfitters to the gentry”.

According to a small, blinkered clique of state-sponsored public sector money pits, the gentry are now not part of real life. Quite why the pompous shitstick who drafted this letter should feel that such a spiteful and class-led comment is in any way relevant should be as alarming as it is insulting.

Right, I'm calling you all out on this one. Guglani, you're a cunt and no mistake for agreeing your name to be headlined for such shit. Likewise Kate Gegg, state-paid Tobacco Lead (cunt) of NHS Gloucestershire, Sister Anne Elyan (cunt) and, it would seem, her cunt relation Dr Sean Elyan. Plus two other NHS Gloucestershire cunts, Dr Sally Pearson and Dr Shona Arora, also paid for by taxes contributed by extreme right wing capitalists like Jack Wills.

Regardless, such advertising, and the persistently flagrant disregard of the local health teams’ concerns and requests to the contrary, is an indictment of corporate sensibilities and a clear ethical failure.

Jesus H Christ! If they wish to disregard the concerns of local health teams, flagrantly or otherwise, it's none of your cunting business. Corporate sensibilites? None of your business. Ethical failure? Listen, when they are mitigating the drain on public resources that you disgusting curd-suckers and mung-chompers present, guess what? None of your fucking business.

Taking this down to basics. These hysterical, overweening, socialist doom-mongers are outraged that, on a high street, kids may see cigarettes and fag butts and be driven to the dark side. So scared were they of the sky falling in, that they put their empty heads together and green-inked the Times ... with a bit of green class envy thrown in for good measure.

So, I expect they must have had palpitations at the huge increase in cigarettes and fag butts visible in every high street up and down the land after the implementation of the smoking ban. But strangely enough, they didn't see fit to write any letters about that.

Guglani. As hypocritical, wasteful, bigoted, class-led, condescending letters go, your collective effort is a doozy.

Fuck off and play chicken with the traffic on the M5, the fucking lot of you.