Ain't That Global Warming A Bitch? (5)

Continuing the series ...

The records keep tumbling in Beijing. Cloud-seeding, leading to the earliest snowfall for 22 years, was employed in November to minimise disruption. Now this.

The authorities in Beijing have closed schools and mobilised thousands of people to help clear roads after the heaviest snowfall for nearly 60 years.

I wish someone would do something about this bloody global warming ... it's costing me a fortune in de-icer.

Might As Well Herd Cats

Just a couple of days after the Wail and Torygraph trumpeted the success of a no smoking prison on the Isle of Man, comes news of the inevitable unintended consequences, if the Star is to be believed (yes, I know).

TEABAGS have been banned at a non-smoking jail after lags used them in cigarettes instead of brewing up.

... instead of quitting, ingenious inmates poured out the contents of teabags and rolled makeshift ciggies.

[One former prisoner said] "Many inmates turned to teabags and some even tried smoking dried banana skins. Then the governor decided to ban teabags and replace them with granules so we couldn’t smoke them."

Probably the only people who would find this remotely surprising are bansturbators who still cling to the belief that all will instantly bow down to their personal whims without question.

Thousands of years' evidence of the human condition available for study, yet some still don't get it. Coercion is not a reliable tool for social engineering, nor will it ever be.

Much as placing road humps down one road will force traffic onto other roads which, in turn, will require the same restrictions; So does banning something lead to an alternative being found which also requires banning. In this case, the only winner is the increased profitability of the black market by a manufactured upsurge in demand.

One day, the righteous may work out that people are naturally resistant to irrational authority, and infinitely imaginative, and mischievous, as a result.

What fun.

Happy New Year France Stylee

The Tories have been getting all righteous about over-exuberant New Year revellers, but it pales into insignificance when compared with the annual celebrations in France.

PARIS (Reuters) - Youths burned 1,137 cars across France overnight as New Year's Eve celebrations once again turned violent, the French Interior Ministry said on Friday.

Car burnings are regular occurrences in poor suburbs that ring France's big cities, but the arson is especially prevalent during New Year's Eve revelry.

The number of vehicles torched was only 10 short of the record 1,147 burned this time last year, even though the Interior Ministry mobilized 45,000 police during the night -- 10,000 more than 12 months ago.

In light of this, drunks are quite a marginal problem, no?

Incidentally, there is one salient point missing from this account. You're not daft, you can find it out yourself.

The Perils Of Gambling

Don't do it, kids.

In a former life, Dick was quite involved in darts and provided tips to a rather salubrious subscription betting site. They must have been good because I was made a free life member. Some of the darts info I am afforded would make your hair curl so an anonymous darts blog would have been quite interesting. Unfortunately, I tried it for a couple of weeks and darts fans completely missed the point.

Anyway, one still likes to keep one's hand in and I threw a lazy tenner at Simon Whitlock at 66/1 earlier this month with a deliberate view to laying if it got too hot. That day was yesterday but, with distractions aplenty I bloody forgot, didn't I.

Brilliant, then, that he won to offer a much more attractive lay today. Bloody wonderful, in fact, as the bet was still alive and dent to my return, after hedging, was reduced by half.

Guaranteed profit is nice, but seeing him beat Barneveld tonight is rather worrying. I'm now left with a matched liability of £581 if he should beat Taylor tomorrow, leaving a mere £73 profit.

Now, it ain't happening, of that I'm pretty sure, but if he'd lost to Wade (with my lay placed) or Barney, I'd have been quite happy. With Taylor, though, I'm in the odd position of wanting Whitlock to win despite it costing me about £500.

There should be no sentiment in betting, so I wish I'd not bothered with a wager in the first place, to be honest.

Ungrateful bastard, ain't I?

High-Powered Begging For Pennies

There are plenty of reasons why the government's new hardline approach to music is wrong-headed. But it's a struggle to take this one seriously.

Lord Mandelson wants to force anyone who plays music to an audience to have to buy an additional £81 a year licence from April. Previously charities were exempt.

The Association of Charity Shops gave warning that the plans could sound the deathknell for marginally profitable charity retailers across the country.

£81 per annum can do this? Or, to break it down, £1.56 per week?

Scores of marginally commercial charity shops would be forced to close because of charity trustees have a legal duty to shut a shop which is making a loss or barely in profit.

If the difference between their being profitable and not is just £1.56 per week, they can't be making much of a difference as they are currently operated, surely?

To ram home the point about this huge peril, the Association of Charity Shops has come up with some pretty daft reasoning.

The new tax would take vital funds away from good causes, he said: “Charity shops do not play music for private gain, but to help raise funds for charity.”

The alternative to paying the new charge was to stop playing music altogether.

But this would mean customers would not want to come to the shops, and volunteers might be less inclined to staff them.

Those I know to visit charity shops usually mention the potential for finding a bargain or the feelgood factor of helping a charity. I've yet to hear anyone mention popping in for a bit of a boogie, because the shop are showcasing the latest Black Eyed Baked Beans album, or that they are doing a 60s retro weekender.

One charity comes out with a tearjerker of which the Daily Mash team would be proud. It reads like gloriously subtle satire.

Charities gave an indication of the impact of the extra charge to the people they care for.

Mel Banham, head of fundraising at the Lindsey Lodge Hospice in Lincolnshire which has seven charity shops to raise funds, said the extra charge would mean it would have to find extra money to pay for 12 days’ midday meals for 170 patients.

Seven shops paying the charge equates to 2,040 meals (170 x 12) at 27p each, apparently. My, that must be a nutritious feast, right enough.

Then a second 'trade' body weighs in.

Liz Atkins, the organisation's director of public policy at NCVO, told The Daily Telegraph: “This change would impose an unnecessary bureaucratic burden and cost on hundreds of thousands of charities.

So, in one article, we have three fully waged spokespersons complaining about what is, in truth, a rather paltry sum.

Quite the parasitical circle jerk.

Gordon's Subliminal Message

Via Anti-Citizen One, Gordon's true thoughts for 2010.

2010 In With A Whimper

Attribute yesterday's tumbleweed around these here parts to my sneaking off to a football match yesterday. Standing around watching your team lose in sub-zero temperatures, having travelled an hour and a half to get there, isn't a great way to start a decade, but in the morning it seemed like a good idea. Especially since a large factor in the decision was to see a couple of friends who are visiting here after having emigrated to a non-EU country seven years ago. And very happy with their decision they are too, unsurprisingly.

The morning had seen the unveiling of Mrs P's 'dreamboy' calendar for 2010. Now that was a surprise.


He is described as ...

An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding

... which is, of course, not in the slightest reminiscent of me ... I'm not overweight.