Don't Come Back, Jamie

Daily Mail January 2010:

A spokesman for Jamie Oliver, who has championed improved nutrition in schools, said: "He doesn't like the whole kind of food police, we must ban everything, point of view"

Daily Mail April 2011:

Victory for Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution as schools chief goes on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to agree to chocolate milk ban

The British TV personality appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night with L.A. schools superintendent John Deasy to announce plans to ban flavoured milk from schools' menus.

Good grief.

Link Tank 30/04

Love, honour and cherish this little lot.

What if Kate had dumped Wills at the altar? Operation Pumpkin, that's what

Tobacco controller worried that e-cigs are derailing her industry's righteous crusade

Bumper cars banned from bumping at Butlins

The snobbery of Will’n’Kate haters

Turkey bans the number 31, amongst other things

Are fatty foods and church the new tobacco?

Yearning for the good old days of 2011

The last typewriter factory in the world shuts its doors

Murders: God v Satan

A guide to modern pub etiquette

Tesco demonstrates how private sector beats public

Leprous armadillos

How many can you get? 27 hit songs as understood by a 5 year old

Proud To Be A Brit

I'll hold my hands up here to being rather anti-parochial at times. There isn't much which impresses me about the modern UK. If there was an island somewhere on which I could hole up and fire a big gun at those who wish to dictate their mores on me, 99% of the time I'd be there, no question.

Today, though, was one of those days when I was truly proud to be British.

I'm no royalist, but what a bloody show, eh? Go on, rest of the world, beat THAT if you dare. To be fair, I was pretty ambivalent about the whole thing before this week, but the incessant bleating from insufferable lefties on the airwaves fair forced me to watch. Just nip in and out of the coverage, I thought. But no, it just sucked you in from start to finish.

Yes, there were crashingly grating twee families from the home counties camping out, but they compensated by glugging Lambrini and vodka red bulls from about 8 this morning. Don Shenker was probably having palpitations, poor love.

The £30m price tag? Pah! Peanuts. This was top drawer theatre which has probably paid for itself already. Listen, I have mentioned before that my company has suffered to the tune of around £3k - and the country, in the region of £6bn according to the CBI - but that's coming back in many ways.

We talk here about the ignorance to personal enjoyment employed by many in the gloom business, and this is no exception. Counting costs without accepting the relevance of pleasurable value applies equally in this case.

Patrick Basham, writing in the Guardian, reckons we should have sold the rights to the highest bidder, but for once I kinda disagree with him. Unlike the Olympics, the Royal Wedding, IMHO, will be a net gain for the country in mostly intangible ways.

Tourism? No doubt. Today told the world that the streets are empty (and red), everything is clean, and our people quite scrumptious. Nonsense, yes. They'll come over in their droves, though, more fool them. But the cash, eh?

We've seen royal occasions in European countries. Quite rubbish by comparison, no contest in fact. This is what we Brits do best, there really is no credible rival. Massive buildings crafted from stone sourced by ancient artisans from the best that Britain has to offer; pomp derived from a history which Americans can only dream about; music to die for; history; tradition; and men with great big furry hats.

What's more, the flags. Everywhere. We've had this deep shame about our national identity foisted upon us by progressive idiots for years, but here was a nation quite unashamed of displaying the union flag in all corners of the country. Even the celts got involved, with proud parties being held in Wales, Nothern Ireland, and yes, even in Jockland.

Rack up that fun factor, calculator fans, I think you'll find the country made a profit today. My local fish and chip shop, run by a Pole, was watching what I presume is Polish TV. They were wall to wall with the wedding, as was probably just about every other national network worldwide. Britain the centre of the globe, and for reasons that your average knee-jerk republican scouser will never understand.

Politicians? Well, they got a cameo, I suppose it's a downside of everything these days, but they were relegated to also-rans. A brief shot of Cameron, Miliband etc wandering into the Abbey and then nothing. How bloody refreshing was that? No chance to hijack anything for their myopic self-interest. Just be there, or be forever condemned as a bit of a dick. Sit down, shut up, be part of the scenery. That's it. If only they were compelled to act the same in perpetuity. That was worth the (free) entry money on its own.

WW2 planes flying past, snogs on the balcony, happiness just about everywhere, and even a retro Aston Martin. What's not to like?

OK, they banned beer at the reception which leaves Mike Tindall in a bit of a cleft stick, but mere trifles, surely.

Max Farquar points out that everyone will have their own lasting memory of the day, his is admirable, sort of. Personally, I'm a romantic who was mighty impressed with William telling Kate "you're beautiful" as she rocked up at the altar.

Get in, sunshine. You both did the nation proud today.

On Such A Day

"Now all that snogging is over, time for a crafty relaxer"

H/T Fellow robber, David G

The Toxic Dollar

It was just a little comment over at Leg Iron's place, that's all. To which someone replied with a suggestion.

Now THERE is an excellent idea!

Someone make up a rubber stamp that says "Smoker's Money" so one can rubber stamp all the bills. Get enough of it in circulation and it will make the point loud and clear.

Forget toxic debt. In light of the new thirdhand smoke scare, meet the new toxic dollar.


As the person who e-mailed me** this picture says:

It's going to make me giggle uncontrollably to think some frail anti will someday have their hands on my bills, treating it like some teen wrote 666 and put it in the collection plate.

Now I just have to figure out how to open the stamper to refill the ink.

Did a lot of them, then? Glorious.

** An ex-smoker, BTW.

Junk Scientists Found!

Just a quickie because I hadn't intended to make a big thing of this, being execrable bollocks such as it is. But seeing as it reared its nonsensical head during conversations in that real life thing, as well as being e-mailed to me by a couple of readers ... and has now popped up in the comments to one of Anna Raccoon's articles today, perhaps an explanation is required.

It's regarding this, based on testimony from experts at San Diego State University.

A single butt with just a tiny amount of tobacco left in it was enough to turn one litre of water toxic and kill 50 per cent of species swimming in it, it was claimed.

Followed by blah, blah, blah, 'Leachates', blah, blah, blah, 'toxicity', blah, blah, blah, zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The study appears in that font of impartial wisdom, The Tobacco Control Journal. But in case that doesn't set the alarms off on your bullshit-o-meter, perhaps this - ahem - coincidence from June last year will (emphases mine).

TRDRP Call for Applications

Request for Proposals for TRDRP Initiative on Thirdhand Smoke and Cigarette Butts

The Tobacco-Related Disease Research Program (TRDRP) announces a Request for Proposals (RFP) to undertake studies on Thirdhand Smoke and Cigarette Butt Waste, under a new initiative.

Approximately $3.75 million is expected to be available for this RFP.

California's Tobacco-Related Disease Research Program appear to have just enriched San Diego State University quite handsomely for producing exactly what was required of them.

They're not alone, either. All of a sudden, 2011 has thrown up a whole host of studies all on the subject of cigarette butts.

Last year - under the headline "Junk Scientists Wanted" - VGIF reported on TRDRP's clarion call for junk scientists of every stripe to step up to the plate and claim some free cash.

Looks like they found them with no trouble whatsoever.

Dick Out And About: Orphans Of Liberty

In an excellent piece, The Nameless Libertarian recently talked of the concept of a Libertarian Union to draw together the many diverse strands of liberty conscious thought. It's definitely an idea worth thinking about but, in the meantime, you may have seen that a blog has been set up to do much the same with independent, freedom-loving writers.

My first article for the nascent Orphans of Liberty has just been published, so why not pop over there and have a butcher's. And while you're there, bookmark it, add it to your RSS, jot down the URL on the back of a fag packet, or whatever else you do with your regular reads, as the content promises to be appealing and very regularly updated.

On a personal note, God speed OOL and all who sail in, or alongside, her.