The Cocky Harrow Show

After some success at starving HMRC this week, I'm thirsty for more. So off to Antwerp I trot today to inflict more damage on the exchequor. Not sure I'll be returning with an awesome stash such as this but will do my best - back Sunday.

While on the journey, though, this will be inducing many a smirk.

Parents' fury at council plans for halal-only menus in primary schools

Parents have expressed fury at plans to serve pupils halal-only menus for school dinners.

In a move which has also enraged animal welfare groups, only meat from animals killed and prepared using Islamic teaching may be allowed at 52 primaries in Harrow.

Now, I've written before of the perfect storm brewing - victimhood poker-style - between the righteous animal rights lobby and, err, righteous religious apologists. But I never factored in the equally righteous anger of the Daily Mail reader. This particular antagonistic ménage à trois could run and run.

Stock up on the popcorn and watch the holier-than-thou gut each other. Sweet.

As it currently stands, it would seem that Harrow council are frantically back-pedalling in the usual 'never say sorry' local authority way, with the most delightful euphemism I've seen for a long time.

Anger is now 'interest', apparently.

'At present we are not proceeding to roll this programme out more widely but this is because of the cost constraints and the level of interest from parents. We will be reviewing the position with schools in the autumn.'

Unfortunately (for them), Harrow's pushing of the envelope may well kick up a lot of fuss over something which doesn't seem to have been noticed before.

The council will be using its preferred supplier, Harrison's, which has been providing halal-only menus to Harrow's high schools for four years after a decision reached by a consortium.

A council spokesman said: 'Halal meat was written into the specifications when high schools were procuring their catering contracts.'

Yep. Since 2006 all kids over 11 have been eating only ethnically-approved meat anyway. No-one noticed ... but Harrow parents sure as shit know now.

Hence the second anything-to-quell-the-riot quote from Harrow spin merchants.

'This was due to recommendations from dietitians.'

Because it's not a religious thing at all. Just a health matter.

Someone please go round to Harrow's offices, remove their spade, and tell them to step away from the hole, eh?