Tuesday 21 November 2017

How The Grinches Rekindled Christmas

When I first read this, I honestly believed it was some spoof April Fool article that someone had found from the spring and mistaken as fact.
SNP ministers are to consider a crackdown on Christmas treats as part of their "bold" plans to tackle Scotland's obesity epidemic. 
The move would see supermarket price promotions on festive favourites such as mince pies and selection boxes being banned north of the Border. 
Other seasonal treats which could fall foul of the legislation would include cakes, biscuits and chocolates, savoury party food and soft drinks.
But no, this is apparently a real story!
Food Standards Scotland (FSS) has found confectionery sales rocket by 54 per cent in the 12 weeks before Christmas, with cakes and pastries up 32 per cent and savoury snacks up 20 per cent.
You don't fucking say!

It's Christmas. What part of that do these nutcases not understand? I've bought two tins of Quality Street already, I won't be touching them till late December, isn't that what we all do?

This, of course, is another step in the annual 'public health' assault on Christmas. Just like their incontinent tantrum about the Coca Cola truck, these people just can't abide the fact that normal people - as opposed to abnormal people like them - quite enjoy having fun.

Thing is, I'd kinda lost interest in Christmas since my kids became teens. Just buying a few pieces of colourful Fisher Price plastic or a Dalek that said "exterminate" and seeing the joy in their little faces as they messed with it for hours on end died long ago. Instead it had become hugely more expensive and not quite as magical. But if Christmas is so horribly offensive to 'public health' miseries, I am now heartily more excited about it.

Shit, if our over-indulgence at Christmas really gets up their nose that much, bring it the fuck on.

Their turgid and aggressively joyless reaction to the Coca Cola truck has inspired me to love Christmas once again. What better thing in the world can there be than to celebrate the knuckle-biting frustration of absolute bastards?

I think I'll get the tree down from the loft this weekend. Altogether now ... "holidays are coming, holidays are coming"


Chris Oakley said...

If politicians stopped wasting our money on big government parasites, the problem would go away. Surely we can justify that based on our huge deficit and the need to cut waste.I can think of few worse uses of the money extracted from us.

This is very unlikely to happen in Scotland though where they seem to like stupid bossy politicians and authoritarian bureaucrats. I have no idea why. I find it depressing that they keep voting for more of this unpleasantness.

Dr Evil said...

How can these idiots restrain trade like this and get away with it? the ECJ will have something to say about this I expect.