Tuesday 28 July 2015

How @Tesco Just Removed Itself From My Shopping List

Dear Tesco

I live in an area where there is one of your stores, a Sainsbury's, an Asda and a Morrissons. Aldi is a bit futher away but I have that option too.

I tend to be a canny shopper and look for deals to decide which I will shop at. It may only save me a few pounds here and there but that's how free markets work, isn't it? You make the offer, I respond to it by either buying or not from your store.

However, I'd like to thank you very much for removing yourself from that purchasing equation by employing a tit like David Beardmore. You see, he has apparently decided to make choices on behalf of every parent who shops in your stores, because we are all obviously so much thicker than him.
"This is part of our 10-point plan against obesity and we have decided that from September we will only sell no-added-sugar drinks in the kids’ juice category."
Absolutely spiffing, Tesco, well done.

Now, while I admit to being astonished at your incredibly crass capitulation to a tiny handful of health fascists waving junk science about sugar, I find it very odd that you employ someone so very dense as to not understand that he is favouring shroud-waving trouser-fillers who effectively call you corporate murderers over and above people who actually give you their cash for products that they like to buy.

You remember us customers, don't you? You know, the ones who don't take every opportunity to slate you for fulfilling your customers' preferences?

In case you weren't aware of how stunning an own goal this policy is, may I remind you that Beardmore has all but ushered in an new era of pain for your organisation according to Professor Graham MacGregor of the self-enriching bunch of liars at Action on Sugar.
“Children should not be drinking sweet, soft drinks and parents should make sure they switch to water instead.”
I think you sell a lot more than water, don't you, Tesco? I believe you also sell salt, ready meals & cereals (which MacGregor also hates you for supplying) along with tobacco, alcohol, and crisps.

Every one of these products is purchased from your shops by customers exercising their own free choice. Once you eliminate that choice, you effectively tell your customers they are too stupid to decide for themselves. Personally, I find that a pretty ridiculous way to do business.

Still, it's your (or prissy David's) choice, so who am I to argue if you want to blitz your sales by telling millions of customers that they are less important that a tiny handful of self-installed health extremists with a fantasy axe to grind in order to keep their personal bank balances healthy?

When the news broke via an article in The Grocer, your Twitter staff seemed completely unaware of it! But I take it you are happy to follow this lunacy through because two days later long-term British staple Ribena has been disappearing from heavily discounted shelves as if it was some form of cancer.

I suppose what I'm saying is that I wish you the very best of luck running a business which is happy to appease people who hate you - thereby admitting that you are pedlars of unhealthy products who force people to buy crap with your wiley sales tactics - while simultaneously calling your customers idiots for making their own choices. It's a courageous business move, and no mistake.

In Mr Beardmore you have a star employeee, I will watch your future declining fortunes with an eager eye from now on ... while I shop at Sainsbury's where my choices are more respected.

Best regards

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