The Most Pathetic Nanny State Whine Of 2015

We may be approaching the end of 2015, but it wasn't too late for the most pathetic nanny state whining of the year to emerge over the Christmas period. I mean, just get a load of this!

Discount chain sparks fury for 'tempting children to alcohol' with Frozen themed champagne-style drink

Now, on reading the headline I believed that some drinks company had produced a Champagne-style alcoholic treat in Disney packaging. A bit naughty, I thought, so understandable that some might not like it, even though many adults enjoy Disney films too. But no, it isn't that at all!

OUTRAGED campaigners have blasted a Frozen-themed children’s drink in a champagne-style bottle for tempting kids to try booze. 

The non-alcoholic fizzy drink, covered in pictures of the Disney film’s characters, is described as “sophisticated” and “grown-up”. 

But campaigners say the drink should be removed from sale immediately.

That's right, this is a non-alcoholic drink. That is, a non-alcoholic drink aimed at children, packaged with characters which children like. There are actually people around us who worry about stuff like this.

Dr Sarah Jarvis, medical advisor to charity Drinkaware, warned: “Selling products which not only normalise but glamorise alcohol could increase the risk of young people wanting to experiment with alcohol.”

Hmm, I've got news for Sarah Jarvis, alcohol is already quite normal, you can't normalise something which is already normal, dear, it's kinda impossible. An overwhelming majority in this country see alcohol as a perfectly normal consumer product, anyone who believes differently is in a tiny minority and therefore abnormal, it's that simple.

We also have these normal things called pubs, Sarah dear, where normal kids can be found eating and drinking normal non-alcoholic fizzy drinks while their parents drink normal alcohol out of often the same normal glassware, we look forward to your campaign to ban kids from these normal establishments with interest.

But then this is the same Dr Jarvis whose obnoxious, condescending attitude towards the public and the advice she thinks we should be force-fed with was astutely described by Tom Paine in 2012.

She was a personable lady whom I would be happy to have as my GP and whose advice I would try to take. She simply didn't grasp, in her backed-by-state-force arrogance, that there was a difference between being an advisor and a boss. 

When we nationalised medical services in Britain (a mistake in my view, but that's for another time) we did not give the medical profession a promotion. We still expect them to serve us, not direct us. Nor do we expect them to describe us as a "cost" to the NHS, when the NHS is a cost to us. It may sound a bit Downton Abbey but this woman simply does not know her place.

Quite. And her place is most definitely not wagging her finger and voicing absurd dismal hysteria about an innocent soft drink at Christmas time. Of course, the Scottish state-funded prohibitionists are even worse.

Alison Douglas, chief executive of Alcohol Focus Scotland, insisted: “This product should be removed from sale immediately."

No it shouldn't you repulsive crone. These bottles have not broken any laws but have doubtless brought smiles, happiness and joy to thousands of kids this Christmas. That you want to take that away on the basis of some far-fetched theory about something that - as Grandad has pointed out - will almost certainly not happen speaks volumes about what a superlatively miserable and pathetic human being you are.

It also shows that these hideous bottom-feeding shroud-wavers can't even zip their sanctimonious, soulless pinch lips for a few short days, at a time of the year when the rest of us are in a happy mood. I do truly believe it is a form of mental illness and they require psychiatric help.

One thing is for certain, they should never be allowed to voice their abnormal views near politicians or be given cash for their puritannical anti-social extremist theories ... oh hold on!