Miserablists Of The Week

Complaining about minor inconveniences has never been so fashionable for the thin-skinned amongst us.

The sound of a couple making love was broadcast over a loudspeaker system at a station on Thursday.

Dozens of commuters used to hearing announcements about leaves on the line listened to the unusual message during evening rush hour at West Ham, East London, on Thursday.

Commuter Ian McFee, 35, who was waiting for his c2c train to Southend in Essex, said: 'A lot of people gathered round the speakers on the platform. No-one seemed offended. Everyone was just smirking.'

'We are looking into this,' a TfL spokesman said. 'Somehow this has got on to the public address system on the platform. We want to make sure this does not happen again.'

I wouldn't worry yourself Mr TfL dude, no-one was that bothered. Why the fuss?

He added that the matter had been brought to their attention when one passenger complained to their helpline.

Ah. I see. Anonymous, perchance?

It brings to mind this little e-mail exchange, experienced recently by a company I ... ahem ... deal with (green ink is my embellishment).

Dear Sir,

I’d like to complain about one of your buses that pass me each morning on my way to work.

The passenger in the front seat finds it hilarious to scream out in pain at the top of her voice whenever she passes me and then burst out laughing. From looking at your website it appears that you provide a wonderful service to many less fortunate people. The thought of one person ruining the reputation of a whole company would be a shame. Could you please ask your colleague to refrain from screaming? It would make my walk to work a lot calmer and it would do your company a world of good to be without any publicity issues as we near Christmas.

Regards

Dear Anon

We have investigated your complaint. As you mentioned, you have seen our website and therefore have a general knowledge of what we do. You will understand that the majority of our passengers have special needs. These needs range from very mild to very extreme cases.

The passenger that you refer to in your e-mail is mentally-handicapped and suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) along with a number of other learning difficulties. The screaming and various other actions that she does on a daily basis is a symptom of her condition.

We are sorry for your inconvenience during your walk to work, but we assure you that any actions from our passengers are not personal and are a general daily behaviour.

If you would like to take the complaint further, we can put you in contact with the school that the child attends so that they can explain the conditions in more depth as, under the data protection act we cannot disclose such confidential information.

Yours Sincerely

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your swift response. I understand the situation and I apologise for jumping to conclusions.

Kind Regards

Is it too much to ask that these people just fuck right off?