Tuesday 3 March 2015

Poo Sticks Resurrection

You may remember an article here last year about the the tobacco control industry's brilliant new existence-extending exercise, poo sticks. If not, do go have a read to catch up.

Well, with the pressure being loaded on the New Zealand government to fall into line and implement the stupidity of plain packaging, Janet Hoek - one of the world's foremost public health extremists - has seized an opportunity to resurrect the idea.
Australia’s decision to introduce plain packaging has aroused international attention and stimulated interest in complementary initiatives. To date, research attention has focused on external packaging and few studies have examined the physical objects of consumption – cigarette sticks. 
Practical implications – As policymakers internationally consider introducing plain packaging, they should examine whether dissuasive sticks could enhance measures regulating the external appearance of tobacco packages.
This is a euphemism for suggesting government mandate that - at the same time as turning the outside of packets into a B list gore film - the cigarettes inside should look like bile, sick and shit.
Hoek's angle is very interesting though, because - as we already know - tobacco controllers are involved in a global game of keeping up with the Joneses; of always looking for some way of kidding themselves that they are doing something important instead of just being miserable tax spongers.

Ireland preen themselves at being the first to inflict a national smoking ban, Australia is proud to have been the first to infantilise their citizens with plain packaging, but Janet has a plan to keep New Zealand right up there in the international illiberal bastards stakes.

Just think of the glory! The white fern nation could be the very first to not only demand plain packaging, but also to make the cigarettes look crap too! What a giant leap for mankind, eh? She explains her potentially huge contribution to humanity in this video.

Now, I'm sure you thought that with all advertising banned, along with sports sponsorship, cigarettes hidden behind screens and colour schemes taken off packs in favour of gory pictures, that no tobacco controller could ever claim with a straight face that the tobacco industry is 'marketing' their products.

But you'd be wrong because apparently, now, the white of a cigarette paper is evil and a means of conveying social acceptability. It's getting to the point where someone should seriously start to question the sanity of these people, doncha think?

By the way, Hoek also wants plain packaging for fast food and fizzy drinks. Not that there's a slippery slope or anything, after all we know that's just a fallacy cos Debs told us so.

And tobacco controllers would never lie, now would they?


vapingpoint said...

Ha ha, Poo Sticks? When I smoked, I would actually buy papers that were not white! When I smoked commercials, I liked Sobranies. And I also liked brown ovals - Turkish? I don't think Poo Sticks will put smokers off ONE BIT. In fact it might be - (gasp) - FUN. What it really shows is what idiots are now making collectables. "I'll swap you "diseased gums" for "terminal cancer" because I want to complete my set. Oh - and can I swap all my "Bark" Poo Sticks for your "Peas" because I'm wearing green to the party on Friday"

Sam Duncan said...

“the white of a cigarette paper is evil”

Well, of course. White fags are obviously racist. I'm surprised the Kiwis didn't think of that angle themselves, to be honest.

But I think those look rather attractive, actually. Calling them “tan”, “sand”, and “walnut” - I like that one especially - doesn't really help their cause, mind you. (And “flesh”? Really, Janet? There's that pesky racism agian...)

Johnnydub said...

There's an old Bill Hicks joke - "I'll take a carton of low Birth weights please"...

Tom said...

White is attractive. Those various shades of brown are ugly and off putting. Erm, isn't that racist?

Lollylulubes said...

I agree with Liz and Sam - my first thought was designer ciggies - olive green is very in right now and the neutrals are always very classy. I used to smoke Mores when they first came out - they're brown and I rather liked the fact that they were different from the norm. What becomes more and more obvious about these idiots desperate to justify their existence is that, beyond addiction, they don't have a clue. The clue is in the word 'addiction'.

The Government should support ecigs, stop feeding fat cat vultures because they haven't achieved anything in years - beyond a black market, put the perils of smoking on the curriculum in schools and give the money to the NHS. But they won't do that because smoking is too lucrative for them and they need the idiots torturing tobacco companies and smokers, so they appear to be p.c. whilst ripping people off.

Dick_Puddlecote said...

It's OK when they do it.