The Bells! The Bells!

A gentle breeze; the smell of mown grass; the sound of kids playing at a neighbouring barbecue; the low hum of a distant aeroplane drawing lines in a clear blue sky; and the merry chimes of the ice cream van. Sensory summer delights we can all treasure, eh?

Well, maybe not if you're a whinging Aussie (oh, the irony).

THEY are a summer staple but the humble soft-serve ice cream van has become a noisy nuisance for some. 

The Courier has received several letters from annoyed residents in both cities complaining about the “irritating” music played by the traditional mobile vendors as they trawl through suburban streets. 

According to one reader from Safety Bay, the offending tune was Greensleeves

You're starting to scare me now, Australia.

But then, perhaps we should cut them a bit of slack here, considering the environment your average topsy-turvy convict spawn is condemned to live with. The BBC revealed yet more this week (as discussed by Taking Liberties since my originally drafting this).

Sports grounds also offer a vantage point from which to view the country's surprisingly officious and authoritarian streak. At cricket matches, beach balls that transgress onto the playing area are confiscated and punctured. Fans who start Mexican waves face eviction. Those queuing up for beer have to remove their sunglasses to prove they are not half-cut. 

In the face of this authoritarianism, the supposedly anti-authoritarian Australians are a bunch of effete pussies unexpectedly meek and acquiescent. Consider compulsory voting. Recently, when the Queensland government mooted the idea of ending this almost century old tradition, there was something of an outcry. Mandatory voting has widespread support.

I think the psychological term is "institutionalised".

H/T Aussie jewel thief, CT, via e-mail