Wednesday 30 March 2011

Glorious, Quite Glorious

Big Brother Watch have picked up on Stockport Council's drive to hide salt from we weak-willed automatons.

This is the natural progression from the ruling on cigarettes. People are no longer allowed to make a decision for themselves on how much salt to consume. Instead they must be treated like children and have anything which might be bad for them hidden away behind counters.
Now, I've been mentioning for a while that once tobacco is hidden away on the premise of reducing consumption and improving health, other vested interests will bundle in and demand the same for their particular bête noire. Indeed, the SNP were mooting hiding sweets for the same reason last year. The possibilities are endless, as I - somewhat tongue-in-cheek - pointed out at the time.

Since they have already also legislated to hide tobacco, one must assume that the SNP view Scots as so very irresponsible that cans of beer, Penthouse, crisps, ham and bacon, fireworks, The Daily Sport, tea, coffee, saucy birthday cards, salt, peanuts, plastic spoons, quiche lorraine, and Firehouse Dog will also soon be on the list of items to be hidden away from caledonian proles. All for their own good, natch.

Convenience shops will look a trifle bare, though. Might as well put the counter in front of the shop window, the stock out the back, and have done with it.
I can cross salt of the list of 'possibles' then, seeing as it's now a reality.

Since BBW have covered the point adroitly, I've not much else to add except to draw your attention to a quite glorious comment at the Mail's rundown of the story.

Very glad to hear about this, I run a convenience store and follow similar procedures. I hide all the alcohol, tobacco and sweets and chocolate and if people want to buy it then they have to ask for it. I pretend to be hard of hearing sometimes so that people have to really shout-it helps with shaming them. I operate a loyalty card and people get it stamped if they buy fruit, veg or something else healthy. I feel in a small way I can contribute to the nation getting in better shape. I also sell adult material but in order to buy this the customer must put it in writing, stating exactly what they want it for and why they feel they need it. Successful applicants can then purchase it discreetly but they will have a word of my choice stamped on their loyalty card. It is not removable.

- Julia, Norfolk, 30/3/2011 15:08
At time of writing, at least 89 red arrowers have watched as the ingenious irony flew far above their tiny minds.


Mark Wadsworth said...

"from we weak-willed automatons"??

Don't you mean "from us weak-willed automatons"?

And you missed sweets and chocolate off that list, and probably chewing gum.

Mike Spilligan said...

I'm thinking of introducing a similar system with the borough council where I live. They've become weak-willed and ask for money because it's too easy. Credit transfers, direct debits - probably PayPal too, now. What would happen if I made them ask individually why they really, really need all this unhealthy, sinful lucre, each week?
I know the answer, of course, but what's sauce for the goose .......

Anonymous said...

Bare shelves and everything hidden, very Soviet like don't you think, except East Germans and Russians didnt take it and weren't so weak as to buy into all the insane excuses. That's because "won't happen here" and "can't affect me" hasn't sunk in yet, that it can, it will and it already has. Maybe it takes stock poor shelves and everyone out of business and on the dole before it sinks in and by that point will be too late to do anything to reverse it as the damage will be permanent.

Anonymous said...

Eventually every shop's going to be Argos, isn't it?


James Higham said...

It's the infantilization of society and the cessation of the power to think in people which is the most worrying aspect. A society which is no longer educated and no longer thinks is ripe for enslavement.

Dr Evil said...

They don't do irony do they over at the Mail?

JuliaM said...

Given how easily - not to say, eagerly - that chip shop owner embraced the council's bidding, perhaps that comment wasn't a spoof like we think..?

Anonymous said...

Now up to 134 reds.

I rather think that many people will read only the first couple of lines, which read: 'I'm very glad to hear of this....etc'. I know I have done that if there are a lot of comments. The irony only becomes evident a few lines in. Pity, really.