Tuesday 8 March 2011

Tomorrow Is Officially 'Double Up Smoking Day'

You know what they say about smokers. Irresponsible, anti-social, smelly, stupid, disgusting, better off dead etc**.

Well, may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb, eh?

Since we're excluded from decent society these days, why not try doubling intake on No Smoking Day instead, they hate us anyway so may as well. Or, as non-smoking originator Gotty (at OR's pad) suggests for those whose lifestyle hasn't been denormalised (yet).

Last year, I bought a pack of cigarettes and lit them all up in support but on reflection that was a bit of a waste of cigarettes. This year I intend to buy a couple of packs of twenty, for my two best mates, and help them both to double up for the day. Sorted!
Plus, there's always the chance that No Smoking Day President, Duncan Bannatyne, may throw a puerile fascistic tantrum on Twitter again if he hears about it, you never know.

What we really need, of course, is a 'Keep Your Big Fat Interfering Nose Out Of Other People's Business Day', but there's no cash for fake charities in that idea.

** 64 comment contributions of sick anti-smoker psychosis thus far, keep 'em coming.


Anonymous said...

Ah, the Benson and Hedges girls who used to hand out fags on track days.
Another world.

Gordon Is a Moron said...

My local council have a smokefree house pledge on t'interlubes after 3 months it has been signed by the grand total of 2 people....

Mark Wadsworth said...

I shall smoke just as much tomorrow as on any other day, ta very much.

It's not like drinking where it is quite easy (and often enjoyable) to occasionally imbibe double your normal intake.

Anonymous said...

Thank God Greece doesn't indulge in puerile crap like "no smoking day". And long may it continue that way.

No smoking day! Pah! what a bunch of tossers. What the fuck do they think they will achieve? 50 people giving up for the day? Big deal. Wankers.

Anonymous said...

I find it a little odd that they should pick ASH WEDNESDAY (Christian calender) to do this!!!!

Gregster said...

Smoke cigars instead of cigarettes then Wadsworth you pussy. Tongue in cheek that. At least you're on our side.

Lysistrata said...

No accident at all that Ash Wednesday was chosen for the first non-smoking day. It was deliberate. It is, after all, the day when sinners must repent and renounce their sins according to the ruling cult of the day - and I did spell cult correctly.
Oh, and the first one was in 1984, for those who like irony.

It's now the 2nd Wednesday in March in heathen civic England, but remains Ash Wednesday in Ireland, and doesn't occur at all here in Greece, as nisakiman correctly said. Ever.

Raphe said...

I'll behaving my first cigarette in 7 years to celebrate this special day. In fact, it might as well be a big fat cigar.

Diesel said...

I haven't smoked in 7 years, but I will be at the tobacconists first thing this morning.

Luckily, I have to spend today with a bunch of the Righteous (™LegIron) so its going to be fun.

Asking for a smoke break on No Smoking Day will probably give them a heart attack. Especially when I say I don't smoke, but I'm showing solidarity with the oppressed.

Anonymous said...

I shall be sparking up a Hamlet in support of "Keep your Fucking Noses Out of Our Business" Day.

Ciaran said...

Ashtray Wednesday?

Angry Exile said...

Doesn't seem to be a No Smoking Day down here in Upside Down Land, though from the constant hectoring ad campaigns you'd think every fucking day was was No Smoking Day. I'll have to keep an eye out to see if they do anything for the World Nagging People About Their Cigs Day, or whatever it's called, at the end of May. If so I'll either do Gotty's suggestion or, since the only thing I miss about smoking was making a perfectly smooth rollup by hand, offer my services as a human rolling machine for the whole day.

Sam Duncan said...

“Especially when I say I don't smoke, but I'm showing solidarity with the oppressed.”

Please tell us you're not just - ahem - blowing smoke with that one. The thought of the look on their faces will put a spring in my step all day.

Neal Asher said...

I've just had a rant about this, Dick. I still find it irritating how so few can see beyond their 'dirty, stinking smoker' prejudice to the wider destruction of freedoms issue. I keep trying to focus them on the Niemoller poem but it's like banging my head against a brick wall.

BTS said...

I had no idea that today was 'no smoking day' and yet I've been chain-smoking anyway. Perhaps it was a subconscious protest.

I don't suppose it's also 'no getting stoned day' and 'no munching on carrots day' by any chance? 'Cause then I'd have a triple-whammy on fighting the power..

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Dick and readers, for pointing out the incongruity of Ash Wednesday with ASH Wednesday.

You might wish to read my latest post on scapegoats (from smokers to drinkers and the obese) involving the scope creep of the State:




Lyn Ladds said...

Hi Dick

Sorry to put this on here, but cannot connect to my email from here nor use your contact. Hope you do not mind and maybe others will be able to help!

I am sat in a beautiful hotel on Majorca but sadly, as was expected, our holiday has been spoiled by the smoking ban.

We have visited this hotel, mostly twice a year for the past 10 years. Being March the weather is not too good and for the past 2 days we have been more or less trapped in our room as this, apart from outside, is the only place we can smoke and even that is a concession! We should be on the balcony!

Firstly, I would be grateful for any information you, or anyone else can give on where we can go in Europe to buy our cigarettes cheaply and legally. Secondly, where in or out of Europe, although not too expensive, we can go for a holiday where we can smoke freely.

We have decided to vote with our feet and not return to Spain, neither do we wish to assist the Spanish government in any other way by purchasing our cigarettes here. For the past number of years we have spent several thousands of pounds on cigarettes to last the two of us the year so as not to buy in the UK. Spain no longer deserves our custom.

On that note, and for what it might be worth, can you give any ideas who I might write to or email in the Spanish tourist industry or government about this.

My home email is lynladd@gmail.com.

Kind regards

Lyn Ladds

PS Sorry, not too used to Spanish keyboard and am on a timer.

Lyn Ladds said...

Having found another Euro, on the subject of No Smoking Day and anti smoking in general; I find it extremely scary as to how gullible so many, in fact it seems the majority, of people are on this subject. They are willingly being totally blind, brainwashed and ignorant of any real facts and follow like hyptonised drones the totally illogical, never mind unscientific, crap that is being fed to them!

Is there something being fed to people in the water, maybe, that smokers are protected against?

Now I am being totally paranoid, I know!

Furthermore, surely there are still some people left who are appalled at the way those who gave their lives in 2 World Wars for our freedom from dictatorship are being so dishonoured and postumously abused?

It is a total crime that so many gave so much, not just those who died, but those who were left behind and yet what they fought for is being flushed down the drain with a flourish. It sickens me.

We did face the cold wind off the sea for an hour or so yesterday so we could smoke freely, in the open, even though I don`t believe Spain takes part in No Smoking Day, yet, anyway.

Will hopefully be less rushed when I get back home.

Dick Puddlecote said...

I'll pass your message on to an 'expert' Lynn. :)

Lyn said...

Thanks Dick. Response received.

Now home having met up with several extremely angry smoking Germans who were berating the fact that the still had 10 days of their holiday left and nowhere but outside or shut in their room to smoke!

I really hope that as a result many Germans will also hit the Spanish government in the pocket! Whilst we were there something was said on one of the news channels we watched about how much the Spanish government depend on tourism for the Spanish economy. Another very good reason to boycott Spain methinks!