All this talk of forthcoming cuts in NHS services, and scaling back of preventative programmes on lifestyle choices, must be causing concern to the purse-lipped busybodies at ASH. After all, with public spending squeezed, what if the funds they leech off of taxpayers are reduced, eh?
Fortunately, just in the nick of time, comes news of a vacancy at Wookey Hole which looks to be an ideal career move for Deborah Arnott, at least.
A job centre is advertising a "witch" vacancy with tourist site Wookey Hole, in Somerset, for £50,000 a year.
It's a slight pay cut but times are hard, Debs.
Wookey Hole wants the appointee to go about her everyday business as a hag,
so that people passing through the caves can get a sense of what the place was like in the Dark Ages.
Well, she tries to make people as miserable as they were in the Dark Ages. That should do. Check.
This was when an old woman lived in the caves with some goats and a dog,
Rather like working with Martin Dockrell, then. Check.
causing a variety of social ills, including crop failures and disease.
Pub closures, unemployment, hatred, social exclusion. Check.
She also turned the local milk rancid.
With that face? Too easy. Check.
Debs, the job is undoubtedly yours. You just have to apply and turn up. Their number is 01749 672243 or you can e-mail email@example.com
Not at all, you're welcome.