Friday 26 August 2011

Not Planning On A Cruise Anytime Soon, Are You?*

As it's still holiday time ... just.

Nearly half of British cruise passengers want smoking on-board to be banned, Travel Daily News has reported.

According to a survey of 1,271 cruisers, conducted by, 48 per cent were in favour of a total ban on smoking, while 11 per cent there should be a designated smoking area on cruise ships.

When asked why they wanted smoking to be banned, the health implications of passive smoking was the most popular response, given by 37 per cent, while 22 per cent thought that lighting up on a cruise ship was dangerous.
You've got to admit they have a point.

Who can forget the Mary Celeste, deserted by the crew once someone lit a pipe? Remember the RMS Titanic, where thousands died after a cigar interfered with navigational equipment and sent the hull into a bastard of an iceberg? Or, err, all those, err, other maritime disasters caused by tobacco. managing director, Danielle Fear, commented, “Society seems to have easily adapted to the smoking ban that has made it illegal to smoke in public places such as restaurants, bars and bus stops."
You know, those other places we spend many thousands of pounds and two weeks of our time on without anywhere else to go.

“I can see the logic of spreading this ban across cruise ships; after all, many non-smokers find being around cigarette smoke unpleasant.”
I take it you're not looking to expand your business anytime soon, then, Danielle?

All to please people who simply cannot tolerate others enjoying tobacco, even on a balcony attached to their own cabin where no-one else is allowed to go.

Better muzzle those great big chimneys too, I reckon. Who knows what such gullible, effete flowers might complain about next?

* If you are cruising soon, here's a handy guide to current cruise liner policies (


Heather said...

They clearly haven't looked at the nosedive in profits Wetherspoons suffered when they introduced a smoking ban in their pubs.
If I was planning a cruise, I'd certainly do a re-think. Not my idea of fun to be cooped up with a bunch of intolerant zealots. Never mind the possibility of seasickness and food poisoning, such people are enough to make me sick.

nisakiman said...

"Or, err, all those, err, other maritime disasters caused by tobacco."

Not to mention all the air disasters caused by smoking in flight. Good job they banned it and stopped all those aircraft falling out of the sky.

Smoking Hot said...

So over half didn't want a ban? :)

Funny how the passengers don't realise the crew smokes below decks!

patrick said...

Very useful link - I am thinking of a cruise. Seems I'll have to fork out the extra for a balcony. Like the idea of cigar rooms though!

Was in Russia recently and ate in a restaurant that had an ashtray on the table - bliss

Anonymous said...

I have been on quite a few cruises. I believe smoking has become more dangerous on ships...but that is due to the restrictions. It used to be that one or two bars had smoking areas and you could smoke in your cabin, etc so not loads of people outside smoking, especially at night. Now you have a tiny bit of deck outside where you can smoke. There is more of a possibility of the cig being snatched away by the wind and landing somewhere flammable. Not our fault - we would prefer to be all cosy in a bar.

There are also lockdowns on ships where you are not allowed outside due to nasty weather conditions. So, no smoking at all during that time. That makes for real happy smoking passengers....not

I love the comments I have seen from people saying that they pay x amount for their holiday and have it ruined by someone smoking on the balcony. I wonder if that means that smokers travel free? Or have they just forgotten that we pay the same for our holiday.

I think my cruising days are about over as the draconian restrictions and intolerant righteous make it pretty difficult to just sit back and relax - which is what I want to do when on holiday. There are around 25% (or whatever figure is flavour of the month) of people who smoke. Given that some of that number have non smoking partners, it does cut down the prospective customer base a bit. I believe there lies the reason that cruise lines will always leave that tiny bit of deck as designated smoking area.


Bucko said...

"48 per cent were in favour of a total ban"
Erm. So 52 per cent were in favour of people being allowed to smoke? Twice the percentage of people who actually smoke.

And this is reason to extend the smoking ban to cruise ships?

You can keep your smoke free, passenger free cruise ships. I'll stick with Ryanair. At least they try to flog you an electrofag.

Anonymous said...

And if they ban smoking, they'll no doubt ban vaping too - because it "looks too much like smoking" - revealing anti-smoking's pure prudish selfish malignant spite.

sheila said...

Result of a poll done on this cruise forum in 2010 clearly showed most
people favoured smokers being able to use at least one indoor bar plus outside on deck.
The current topic is about Princess cruises banning smoking on balcony,s.
If there,s one thing that would put you off going on a cruise it,s listening to some of the idiots on here.

George Speller said...

I just recently got the bad news about Princess cruises. Sadly my next cruise with them this October will be the last as they are bringing in insane bans from January. We moved from P&O, giving up a substantial loyaly discount for the same reason.

We are already planning to go back to touring in Spain.

Looking at the crazy discounts they are offering on cruises (they offered us $900 on-board spend) I'd say they are desperate for business. Maybe the cruise lines are owned by Pubco?

George Speller said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
George Speller said...

I just checked Costa and Norwegian lines have sensible policies and offer a number of departures from the UK. So they might pick up a fair amount of business!

[deleted post had far too many typos!]

Ian R Thorpe said...

This says nothing about the danger of smoking Dick and everything about the kind of people who book cruise holidays. I strongly recommend your readers to avoise cruises - unless it's a Club 18 - 30 cruise of course.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the information. I most certainly would not like to be responsible for the sudden death of my fellow anti-smoking passengers by emitting SHS on the balcony.

On second thought, though...........


selsey.steve said...

2003, cruise on the QE2 from Hong Kong to Cape Town. Ashtrays in every bar (emptied after each fag was stubbed), a polite request posted outside each dining room about not smoking inside, wind-proof fag-disposal units wherever you went on deck.
And no-one complained as they'd not yet been brainwashed.

Anonymous said...

Sounds lovely having to go to a 'designated' area on the open deck in the middle of an ocean. Terrific for a couple where one is a smoker.

I wonder what happens if a smoking passenger accidentally puts one foot out of the designated area ?

Anonymous said...

@ anon 22.15

I was on QM2 and there was a small smoking area on deck at the back of the ship. One chap went and sat at a table about 3 feet from where I was in the smoking area - but that was the non-smoking area.

Someone complained and he was asked to move. I was gobsmacked. By moving 3 feet to the 'designated area' it meant that the complainer was then out of the alleged billows of smoke????

dunno about everyone else, but I have loads better things to do on holiday than complain about trivial matters.


Anonymous said...

Oh for heavens sake, whats all this soul destroying crap about non smoking cruise liners.What kind of sterilised,neutered,two bit,
gold plated turds go on cruises.
They are the last forms of our
species to spend more than 1 minute near,let alone weeks.
They like boats because others
they bore the tits off,cant do a runner.Wannabee Nelsons and their
female drones ,in their hundreds,no thankyou,I'de
rather be lost in Basingstoke or
one of those other London satelite
transit camps.
Anyway, any smoker who goes on cruise HOLIDAYS (NOT SHOPPING TRIPS) just has to be a first
class twin tongued arsehole

Cosmic Weekends

Anonymous said...

@ Cosmic Weekends.

Just come back from a med cruise. Had to go for grand-daughter's wedding.
Yes, the smoking restrictions were theoretically a nuisance, but in practice, not so. The odd thing was that you had to find out where you could smoke - no information given. I set out first night and found a smoking bar (outside, of course). But it turned out that any outside bar was ok, although parts of the space were non-smoking - utterly pointless, of course, but I suppose it satisfied the smokerphobes. One 'lounge room' (a big one inside) had smoking on one side. That was one of the best night spots on the boat. Me and wife did not go to inside bars - did not need to. Room and balcony supposedly non-smoking. I had my ecig, so used that in the room. Rarely in it anyway. Ignored balcony rule. The balconies are separated by partitions, so no one could see. It was obvious from multitude of little burn marks (clearly scraped off, as were mine!) on the table and decking that this rule was generally ignored.

One of the best bits was sitting in our favourite bar in port looking at cities like Istanbul. I also got to visit Pompeii.

In the event, I thoroughly enjoyed it. But I will not be going again. It was a glorified Butlins.

Anonymous said...

Oh..and I got 10 x 200 fags in Greece for 12 earos per pack. Also got 15 x 200 on board at $25 (c.£17) each. I was told by the shop attendant that customs was not a problem with cruise bought fags if port of departure and return were in EU.

Not bad really, eh?

Peter Thurgood said...

Let's face it DP, just look at Popeye - habitual pipe smoker - never saw him without his pipe did you? Yet tell me this then - how come we never - ever saw him with his boat?

Sunk perhaps through his constant pipe sucking?

Anonymous said...

I remember at the age of 10, in 1962, first learning of the Nazis, and being puzzled at the time by the following conundrum. Just how could citizens in a Western democracy sink to such depths. Why were Germans so different to the British.

The answer, which took me several decades to work out, is that the Germans weren't any different to us, they merely existed in a sick society that lost its freedoms and signed up to groupthink.

Welcome to 21st century Britain.

Anonymous said...

I've thought about that too, John. During a holiday in Poland, I visited the town of Oswiecim - an attractive place, with its market square

and 14th century church

It perfectly illustrated the Banality of Evil.