Monday 30 July 2012

Meat-Only Monday

If you think scare tactics using 'the chiiildren' and health junk science are bad enough, pity the agricultural industry who are being accused of destroying the world, no less.

Much like alcohol, tobacco and fast food controllers just happen to share the same wish for destruction of big business as the traditional left, a similar stunning coincidence is occurring with climate change dovetailing in nicely with the fantasies of vegetarian evangelists.

In ageing hippie-infested California, Meatless Monday is a movement which has aggressively promoted vegetarianism for all on one day of the week. Nothing to worry about, is it? After all, the tobacco control industry only ever wanted non-smoking areas in restaurants and they have been scrupulously true to their word.

However, the US Department of Agriculture have been caught up in this ideological nonsense, after briefly advocating its employees follow this advice last week. For some reason, they forgot that meat producers are part of the agriculture they are supposed to be promoting and protecting!

The anti 'Big Agriculture' lobby were, naturally, enraged that the USDA drew back from such a stupid position, and the language used might seem rather familiar to readers here.
It's quite telling that the Ag industry is so worried about Meatless Mondays. In all actuality, vegetarians and vegans, while growing, still make up such a small segment of our society. These organizations obviously know the harm they are causing to our planet and to the health of consumers... and they must realize that one day, the atrocities that take place on farms around the country will no longer be tolerated.
Perhaps meat-eating will one day, I dunno, be 'denormalised' perhaps?

The people behind Meatless Monday are a who's who of interlocking highly-funded righteous vested interests, amongst which you won't be surprised to find a certain Mayor Bloomberg. Just another strand of the wider religion-like effort to control and restrict the things that you enjoy.

And we have our own version over here too, complete with Sir Paul McCartney welcoming visitors to the website by describing how they are going into schools and getting in the heads of children ...
"One of the teachers was having a bacon butty and the kid said "err, excuse me Sir", he said "yeah, why, what's wrong?", and he said "you're eating bacon!". And he said "oh yeah" (looking guilty)."
... before weighing in with the emotional blackmail that it's not actually your choice to eat meat because - denormalisation always needs a threat - the planet will die if you do. Ta-dah!

Now, call me cynical, but I reckon they're being a bit melodramatic, as well as hanging their personal crusade on whatever they think they can get away with in order to make others live how they dictate.

So, in the same gentle vein (initially), how about you consider eating only meat on Mondays?

Sauces optional

Why? Well, err, you'll be much happier not having to be led through a supermarket by some spotty kid to find mung beans and pine nuts, and you'll have enough energy not to look emaciated and spaced like McCartney in the aforementioned video.

Of course, it's only voluntary but, if you don't participate, children of livestock farmers all over the world will most likely die of starvation (see what I did there?).

The meat only cookbook (and donation begging website) will be available very soon but, until then, how about some diet suggestions? Cold processed meats for breakfast if you're feeling continental, a bowl of Colman's meatballs for lunch as they are easily microwaved in the office, and a rare sirloin steak for evening meal.

I realise it will be difficult to go straight for the full meat only diet, so you might want to incorporate bread or chips etc as you get into it. However, you will one day notice that you really enjoy testing your molars on some of the finest animal flesh our brave agricultural industry strive to produce for you, and will soon learn to love the lifestyle.

Your breakfast bacon sarnie doesn't need the bread, just make more bacon to make up for it. Pre-cooked chicken is only a couple minutes warm in a 750w for lunch, as is a big bowl of chilli (leave out the kidney beans). And, for dinner, well, it's only traditional as a Brit to support your local kebab shop, tell them to hold the salad, and toss the pitta and chips in the bin on the way home.

It's only a grassroots initiative at the moment, so your own suggestions are welcome, but this is a campaign whose time has come. I don't want to scare you or anything, but there are poor starvation-threatened kids in Dorset who are relying on YOU to protect them.

Eat a cow today! You know it makes sense.


SteveW said...

I'm going to start an alternative movement - Mixed Grill Monday, for those of us who like some deep friend chips and onion rings to go with a plate of dead cow and pig.
Think of the cheeeeldren (of onion and potato growers).

Dick_Puddlecote said...

Great idea. Our movements could form a meat, or vegetable free, coalition. :)

Steve A said...

Could I have some first hand salt on the chips please

JuliaM said...

Thank god I had rump steak burgers for tea!

The Filthy Engineer said...

And of course we could have "Tofu free Tuesday", "Wheat free Wednesday", etc.

20Rothmans said...

Eating alfalfa really helped Linda McCartney, didn't it?

Dick_Puddlecote said...

That's the spirit! :)

SteveW said...

Check the seat covers, should be plenty of third hand salt there.

Dick_Puddlecote said...

Sister organisations are always welcome. We could hold seminars and share ideas, like. 

SadButMadLad said...

Just had some great lamb chops from the local butcher. Way better than supermarket chops.

My bit for meat on mondays.

Senzar said...

I wonder what the Vegstapo will make of 'mini livestock'?

It's just not cricket(s)

Jax said...

I’ve never quite been able to work out, if a vegetarian diet is so darned healthy, why every single vegetarian that I’ve ever known not only constantly looked ill, but often actually was ill, too, and seemed inclined towards every cough, cold, or bug going around.  I have more sympathy for those who “go veggie” for moral/humanitarian reasons (although I have trouble with those who give up red meat “because it’s cruel,” but don’t mind a few thousand chickens or a few million fish being slaughtered for their dinner) than for those who constantly witter on about how much healthier everyone would be if they’d only stop eating red meat, whilst plodding about the place looking as if the one thing they need is a decent blow-your-guts-out steak supper!
And don’t even get me started on vegans

Edgar said...

Meat-only Monday.
Twice-as-much-Tobacco Tuesday.
Wine-by-the-Waggonful Wednesday.
Thornton's Thursday.
Five Fats Friday.
Salty Saturday.
Sofa Sunday.

Dick_Puddlecote said...

So much potential! Five a day fats should be a national mantra, especially. :)

Dick_Puddlecote said...

They won't like it, but will have to construct some junk science to condemn it first. 

Dick_Puddlecote said...

Next week I'm publishing pics only because I'd like to have seen yours. 

Tom said...

They won't go directly from Meatless Mondays to total denormalization, in one step. They will creep it in slowly, a little every six to twelve months until finally it is denormalized, banned, then illegal - and nobody will have hardly noticed.
Fake charities set-up ASH-style will be paid by the government using taxpayer monies to spread hateful propaganda against meat eating taxpayers, in order to stave off criticism by engineering social ostracization as punishment for not fitting the standard form and to encourage citizen-political-tools to do much of the anti-social hate-filled dirty-work for them.
Following Meatless Mondays would come grocery bans on selling meats on Monday with a hefty fine for defiant violators. Well known food store chain CEOs and celebrity chefs would be carted off to jail and imprisoned along with major fines and bad-mouthed by "objective investigative journalists", just to set an example. All MSM will say the same.
Six months later comes plain packaging of all grocery meat products. They would have to be wrapped in plain brown unattractive leaky paper, no more of that clear cellophane see-through that allows kids to glimpse a peek at the pornography.
One year later comes the health stickers requirement, one for clogged artery, one for burst vein, one for colon cancer and one for dead seals killed by global warming. TV and media advertising would be banned outright as would all sports sponsorship. Meat producers would be denied input during government "open minded" assessment periods. Anyone of the public disagreeing would be labeled a "meat stooge".
Shortly there-after comes grocery store display bans altogether, they would have to hide the meat behind walled off areas with sliding doors accessible only under lock and key. 
Only age-qualified adults would be allowed to view the product binder in plain black 12-point Helvetica ink set on plain white paper, double spaced and with 1" margins on all sides - and only if they approach the store attendant first, asking if meat is sold there and if they may view the product listing. Meat attendants will be fined if they accidentally say any brand names or cuts of meat, customers must decide soley on the basis of the binder, with no seller persuasion.
Finally would come total illegalization, along the lines of current heroin, opium and tobacco (which will by then have already tested the waters and set the example).
New Zealand, Australia, California, New York, EU and fake-charities and ministers in UK will all compete against one another to see who can be the most progressive in moving things through the fastest - in hopes of someone winning a Nobel Prize for saving humanity. MSM "objective investigative journalists" will also be competing in copy and paste exercises worldwide, except for a Pulitzer Prize. (Guardian in UK, New York Times in NYC and San Francisco Chronicle in CA will most likely pick up the most Pulitzers.)
But it won't be overnight. They do have to follow a certain required outline, using the anti-tobacco template as blueprint.

Michael J. McFadden said...

Edgar and Tom: beautifully done! :>

Dick, How about "Meatful Mondays"?  Hmm...  doesn't quite have the same punch I guess.

As for this though: " one day, the atrocities that take place on farms around the country will no longer be tolerated."   and your "Perhaps meat-eating will one day, I dunno, be 'denormalised' perhaps?"   don't be surprised.   The communal setting where I did nonviolence training for several years had a strong vegetarian streak in it.  At one point one of my housemates was a radical vegan: we couldn't even use honey because it enslaved the bees, leather shoes were verboten, and I had to fight with bared teeth to hold on to my milk and chocolate!  I remember two of the vegans having a discussion about the smell of meat eaters and how it disgusted them.  (There actually *IS* a meat eater's smell evidently: something to do with ketones and protein digestion or somesuch.)

"Kissing a meat eater is like eating Haggis."   

::ducking from any Scots floating around...::


Michael J. McFadden said...

Oh!  In terms of meat and the environment: try to get hold of a copy of Frances Moore Lappe's "Diet For A Small Planet" (written ca. 1975) where you'll learn all about the impact of the nasty meat eaters. Frances was actually at the same center I worked with shortly before I got there!  I had a cassette tape of a discussion with her on an old cassette recorder where the cassette was about 5 inches by 9 inches!  LOL!  The book is actually pretty well done although I no longer believe in that sort of pushiness.


The Man With Many Chins said...

The only problem I can see with meat only Monday, is Farty McFluff Tuesday!

Henry Crun said...

I'm surprised the Americans haven't introduced "Shoot a Vegan Saturday"