May 2010 Just Keeps On Giving

Just to remind you that the saggy-arsed scare merchant also gets the fuck out of our lives this month.

I tried the FOI route for an exact date but the DH were rather coy. I don't think they liked my idea of a beer and fags party outside his office.

I'm still up for it, though, so if anyone has any info as to when the horrendous ginger bastard will officially hector his last, please let us know.

It'd be a reet grand day out.

And, of course, when it is confirmed he has left, I think a post which allows us to offer our tributes on his time in office is in order, don't you?

Link Tank 15/05

So many links, so little attention span. Here are the edited elite.

Dutch government seeking to ban foreigners from coffee shops

What's this modern-day obsession with perfect bodies?

US planned nerve gas attack on Australian troops

Six gender stereotypes that science says are true

An extension of VAT could mean a 'fat tax' on UK food

It's the future: 3D Playboy centrefolds

Imperial Tobacco: "A spectacular success story"

ID checks are getting out of hand

Spitfire beer fights the German luftlager [video]

After 40 years and $1 trillion, the US drug war has met none of its goals

People want big health and big education, not big government

Teenager refused a puncture repair kit ... in case he sniffs the glue

Will UK civil servants scupper civil liberties reform?

The excellent Bob Newhart celebrates 50 years in Showbiz

Can You Even SPELL 'Speeding Ticket'?

Incredibly, I think I've just found a school worse than the Puddlecote boy's!

Just a brief scan of some highlights (or lowlights) of the Puddlecote boy's 2008/9 experience can attest to the priorities Labour have placed in primary schools, for example.

- For Easter, a trip to the town centre, picking up litter to save the enironment.

No such beating around the bush from Tuckswood Primary School in Norwich. Their jugend are used for much more ambitious projects.

Children will be pulling over cars in Norwich later this month in an event designed to educate drivers about the dangers of breaking the speed limit.

On Friday May 21 officers from Lakenham and Tuckswood Safer Neighbourhood Team will be carrying out speed checks with the help of a group of pupils from Tuckswood Primary School.

Motorists caught driving above the 30mph limit will be stopped and given a warning or a fixed penalty ticket by the school children.

Primary school. That's 11 and under. Pulling over cars and issuing speeding fines. And a lecture. To adults.

Great way to foster respect for one's elders, doncha think? That must be the 'progress' they're all talking about.

Apparently, the war on motorists is now over ... but has anyone told the kids yet?

I'm beyond staggered.

H/T Ian PJ who I've since noticed tweeted it from Gawain

Lefty Tantrums

There was a lot of talk about how the online left were going to reign supreme in the post-election world of an anyone-but-Labour government. I suppose we'll have to wait and see how it all pans out but the early exchanges aren't very impressive.

So far, it just consists of a deafening collective whine which could eclipse that of a 747 approaching Heathrow. If they keep it up, we may even have a solution to unsustainable levels of immigration ... after all, who would dream of entering the country with that racket going on? The HSE would have to station someone at the Channel Tunnel issuing industrial ear defenders, if nothing else.

Ross at Unenlightened Commentary echoes my current gleeful satisfaction at reading the lefty wailing and gnashing of teeth, in response to this hilarious contribution from Penny Red (a fiercely faithful socialist smoker, would you believe?).

It's stuff like this that makes the election result so worthwhile.

Indeed it is, Ross, indeed it is.

The result wasn't ideal by any means, but as a welcome rescue from another five years of astoundingly selfish, dictatorial, oppressive, bansturbatory, anti-social and financially damaging fuckwittery, it's just what the doctor ordered for the short term.

There's a lot of righteous socialist hot air being pumped out about the halt of 'progress'. Because progress is infantilising the public, restricting trade by the imposition of umpteen layers of red tape and bureaucracy, marginalising choice, criminalising the law-abiding, creating an atmosphere of fear and mistrust, and breeding class hatred and social exclusion. Apparently.

The D of B&D read, as I did, Johann Hari's petulant cockwaffle earlier today and came to the same conlusion. That it is more of the same. A spitting of the socialist dummy of heroic proportion to sit alongside the mass toy throwing session which is occurring in lefty hotbeds the length and breadth of the country.

The 'left' he wants is intrusive, aggressive, extreme, authoritarian and disconnected from the people it is supposed to serve.

Will people like Hari ever wake up? Or is it that they just like to cling to their fashionable politics because it gives them a sense of superiority and purpose?

If so, how selfish of them.

Selfish is the buzzword for these people. They have spent the 21st Century bastardising government by excluding the public from public consultations, enacting legislation based on what they know are lies, and generally doing what they damn well like and calling it progressive and democratic.

And because this bullying with state funding may have stalled for a bit, they don't like it one little bit. They're the political embodiment of the kid in Asda rolling on the floor because his Mum has finally said no when he demanded sweets. Screw what's good for the country, they don't care, what's good for them is all that matters.

And why does this Rolf Harris number always enter my mind when I scan their witterings?



Amongst the Lib Dems, it's not the word progress which doesn't match what is in my dictionary, but the word 'liberal'. This blogger has left the Lib Dems because not allowing powers to be given to the bloated, ex-commie infested EU is, and I quote, "illiberal and out of touch". Illiberal to want to retain an element of choice over the lives of British people? And so now, in search of 'liberal' policies, she is joining the Greens? Good grief.

Another Lib Dem is leaving as he doesn't like the make-up of the coalition itself.

The areas of agreement between the Liberal Democrats and the Conservatives are few, and not enough for each party’s separate vote to be meaningfully combined in a joint mandate. It is at best a highly awkward marriage of a progressive and a conservative party.

This from a former member of a party which is a coalition all of itself!

One could even call it a highly awkward marriage of a classic liberal party and former members of Labour. Which it is.

So, after being a member for any period of time, only to then cry foul because the left of the party, to which the quitters presumably belong, isn't compatible with soft conservative policies - which the right of the party have very little problem with - makes one wonder why he paid dues to such a party in the first place. It beggars belief. Seriously.

The truth is that the left quite simply failed to carry the public with them in this election. Labour's campaigning consisted exclusively of scaremongery over what the Tories might do, whilst the left of centre Lib Dems, though small in percentage terms, seem to believe that theirs is the only acceptable stance and are leaving ... without even the satisfaction of taking their ball with them.

Where is the fightback? The promotion of lefty policies and ideas, rather than this cacophany of whinging, and homogenous paragraphs of wounded rhetoric?

If you spot any more puerile articles from similarly wounded brave little soldiers, please point them out as it's very cathartic reading their impatient, insular, self-interested rantings.

UPDATE: The Quiet Man was ahead of me with a couple of great examples yesterday.

Where Was I?

Yes, it's been quiet here today but I've got a note. Honest.

Any potential post wouldn't have come close to the optimism at Anna Raccon's tonight anyway, so if you haven't seen it, here's a snippet from her prediction of the end of the nanny state.

But now the credit cards have been cut up, and there can be no more spending, the vultures, fresh from gorging on Greece, are eyeing up the UKs debt mountain and feasting on our bonds.

It will have a curious effect, one that the electorate couldn’t achieve, of turning our Government into one that espouses Libertarian values. They will have no choice. They may label themselves Conservative or Lib-Dem at the moment; there may be talk of ‘our manifesto commitments’ but they will have no choice other than to butt out of our lives except for the essentials.

Joy unconfined if this were to turn out to be true. I have my doubts, but Anna's reasoning is sound so definitely worth reading the whole piece.

Oh yeah, and you'll perhaps want to read my note.

"Dear Sir/Madam

Sorry that Dick wasn't available today, but recent events have bolstered his already prevalent disgust with the shit that passes for state education in the UK.

He apologises to Mr Cameron but he can't really afford to wait a couple of years for something (which might be) better to turn up.

So tonight he was mostly counting his pennies and seriously investigating going private.

It sticks in his craw, like a motherfucker, that he has already paid bucketloads through his taxes yet still feels it necessary to pay again for something remotely fit for purpose. He's also disgusted that for all Labour's talk of equality, it's only those who are able to dig deep into reserves who can guarantee a good education for their kids.

But he'll be back on Friday. Promise.

Regards
Mrs Puddlecote Sr

PS He'd like to be excused P.E. too if it's not too much trouble."

Thanks, Mum.

New Politics But Same Old Righteous

With all this electioneering going on, the righteous have been somewhat mute of late. Hardly surprising really considering politicians wouldn't have been at all interested while putting all their efforts into campaigning. In England, there weren't even, officially, any MPs to nag!

But barely have the Chuckle Brothers stepped through the door of number 10 than we hear the starting gun for the next 5 years of lobbying, ear-bending, shrieking and truth-distorting from these hideous bastards.

And, as we are sadly now accustomed, the vanguard are targeting Jockland again.

In order to curb dangerous drinking, supermarkets must be prevented from selling cheap alcohol and awarding loyalty points with purchases, [Dr Catriona Morton] says.

Loyalty points, eh? That's a new one. And somewhat desperate too if this ridiculous fucktard truly believes that withdrawing a 1% reward is going to make any difference whatsoever.

It's the only part of the article I haven't seen or heard (or both) many times before, though. While everyone is talking of the 'new politics', the righteous are treading the same worn out path; still peddling the same fucking lies.

We are facing a new pandemic - alcohol as a major risk factor for poor health.

You mean 'new' as in 'not new at all' (see myth No. 1)?

In Scotland, the majority of adults are exceeding recommended drinking limits and 5% (probably more) are alcohol-dependent.

These limits, as I tire of keep emphasising, being about as scientific as closing your eyes and thinking of a number. And exceeding these plucked-out-of-a-gipsy's-arse limits, and therefore being classed as 'hazardous', is as innocuous as enjoying 8 cans of Stella per week ... yes, I really do mean per week.

Catriona the Insane carries on ...

We need to do something now to protect not only the health of Scots but the NHS.

I sense the 'cost to the NHS' lie coming soon. Sigh.

Pandemics require robust, evidence-based policies.

You wouldn't know objective evidence if it tickled your arse with a fucking peacock feather, Catriona. Hideous shitsticks like you work on fear, manipulation and holier-than-thou condemnation ... with a hefty chunk of fake charity cash thrown in.

some alcohol now costs less than bottled water.

No it fucking doesn't. Now what was it you were saying about evidence-based policies? Just a paragraph ago, in fact. Let's make this absolutely clear to you. ALCOHOL HAS NEVER, AND WILL NEVER, COST LESS THAN WATER! Now stop fucking lying.

Unlike cigarettes, alcohol does not necessarily harm at "low doses", but our epidemic is because of pervasive high levels of intake, and this is more than sufficient to justify restricting both price and points.

It justifies nothing of the sort. We don't jail a whole town because a few of them are thieves, so why punish all drinkers for the actions of a few?

Following the Scottish smoking ban in enclosed public places, there has been a 20% drop in heart attack admissions in non-smokers ( and a 17% year-on-year drop overall).

No. There. Hasn't.

Prior to the smoking ban, there was good public health evidence to support it - we now face the same scenario in relation to alcohol.

Still following the tobacco control template, I see. Hey CAMRA, you watching this? Do you hear the sound of the big righteous guns coming for you? Always remember that you gave them succour when they were perfecting their methods ... and now they're using them on you. Happy now, twats?

The financial burdens to Scotland of this continued level of drinking are commensurate: over £400 million NHS costs, £170 million for social work and all told, an estimated £2.25 billion a year.

Yep, I could see that coming a mile off. The old fallacious 'cost to the NHS' chestnut. Completely ignoring duty on alcohol, pension savings, and the simple, unavoidable fact that drinkers are no more a burden on NHS resources than anyone else.

"It is true that, on the whole, healthy people cost the National Health Service, and indeed the pensions sector, rather more than unhealthy people." - Julian LeGrand, former government health adviser.

As I said. It's the same old guff regurgitated ad infinitum in the hope that each time it is trotted out a few more dullards will believe it. Why not? After all, they have hoodwinked the vast majority of our none too bright MPs.

Right Cameron, Clegg. You've been talking about new politics, yeah? How about knocking this shit on the head?

You want cuts? How about starting by sacking every mendacious, anti-social, righteous, state-funded fucknut - like Catriona Morton - out there? We'll believe your 'new kind of politics' if you start protecting your electorate from the tired old system of self-serving vested interests and puritannical headcases.

After all, how better to conclusively prove to us that your administration is about "freedom, fairness and responsibility", eh?

Just When You Thought It Was Safe ...

Iain Dale is pretty certain about upcoming cabinet positions.

First Cabinet Posts Announced

HEALTH: Andrew Lansley

Yes, the same Andrew Lansley who dismissed Conservative Home's poll which suggested an amendment to the smoking ban was favourable to a majority of conservatives, let alone the rest of us.

My understanding, however, is that Shadow Health Secretary Andrew Lansley - a great believer in public health - does not want to return to the issue.

Yes, the same Lansley who (whether you enjoy tobacco or not) wants to make 'help' you give up in more inventive ways.

Mr Lansley said that, under the pharmacy contract, it was intended that pharmacists would help smokers who have not been targeted by their GPs, and stressed the importance of using the sector more in the provision of NHS smoking cessation services.

Indeed, the same Andrew Lansley who was recently paid £114 per day by the pharmaceutical industry until Private Eye highlighted it.

Meanwhile in a double whammy, someone who used to be paid by big tobacco, Ken Clarke, is shoved out.

Come on now! You didn't really think anything was seriously going to change, did you?

Meet the new boss, same as ... well, you get the idea.

(Best start a new tag for Lansley as I think I'm going to need it ... oh yeah, and 'Change? What change?' too)