Friday 5 November 2010

Careful Now

The moose recently highlighted a story about smoking being banned in a Pendle's parks due to the threat of secondhand smoke ... outdoors where even junk science has never proven (and never will do) that it's injurious to health. ASH Wales have also called for the same measure to save children from lethal exposure to deadly toxins.

ASH Wales has called on all councils to make parks and playgrounds smoke-free environments.

[Launching the ASH Wales campaign, Tanya Buchanan, the charity’s chief executive, said:] “Making parks smoke-free will protect our children from developing health problems from breathing in second-hand smoke because, when you smoke, so does everyone else.”
One wonders, then, if Tanya and her friends will be happy taking their kids to a fireworks display this weekend.

Fireworks produce smoke and dust that may contain residues of heavy metals, sulfur-coal compounds and some low concentration toxic chemicals. These by-products of fireworks combustion will vary depending on the mix of ingredients of a particular firework. (The color green, for instance, may be produced by adding the various compounds and salts of Barium, some of which are toxic, and some of which are not.)

Pollutants from fireworks raise concerns because of potential health risks associated with hazardous by-products. For most people the effects of exposure to low levels of toxins from many sources over long periods are unknown. For persons with asthma or multiple chemical sensitivity the smoke from fireworks may aggravate existing health problems.
So, for the lily-livered and ever fearful amongst us, here are some safety tips.

- Leave the sparklers at home, they're banned on health and safety grounds. Obviously, since they're only harmful to fuckwits.
- Wear sunglasses, do you really want to risk your sight because of one unexpectedly bright explosion?
- Don't eat the hot dogs or you'll suffer a processed meat induced heart attack by morning.
- Wear eight jumpers and avoid proximity to other people ... that there swine flu is a right bitch.
- Bring your gas mask to protect against the unholy collection of smoke and fireworks fumes, and don the full body bio-hazard suit if you see someone light a fag.
- Leave the kids at home, such risk-filled fun is far too dangerous for their little bodies to cope with.
- In fact, just stay at home yourself too. There's walking on the wild side by having a glass of sherry at Christmas, but this is just too much like hell.

Stay safe this bonfire night, righteous types. Bolt your doors, put rolled up towels against every door crack, surreptitiously spy on your joy-filled neighbours as they return, and then write letters calling for a ban on fireworks for the sake of the chiiildren. You know it makes sense.

For those of us who are not cowed by health alarmism, however, have a great Guy Fawkes weekend.

(This article was scheduled as I'm elsewhere. Try not to nick the family silver and trash the place while I'm gone, eh? Ta)


Ian R Thorpe said...

Living near Pendle I can vough that people vistiting loval parks will breathe in a lot worse stuff than cigarette smoke.

Anonymous said...

The Anti-Smoking lobby are unusually silent on the pollution from bonfires and fireworks.

No cry of "PROTECT THE CHEEELDREN" from them.

"Elsewhere it has been reported that bonfires and fireworks on and around the 5 November contribute up to 14% of the total UK emissions of polychlorinated dibenzo-p-dioxins and polychlorinated dibenzofurans (collectively referred to as dioxins) to the atmosphere, according to researchers at the University of Lancaster (ENDS Report 296, September 1999, p 9)."

Anonymous said...

1 Session of Pendle Council
petrol powered grass mower(with
non smoking driver cabin)

= 13,339 smokers
thirteen thousand,three hundred
and thirty nine

Ian, earlier,now I know why
Pendle youths stroll round
laughing a lot.


Mark Wadsworth said...

Remember, remember, a bucket of water,
And eye protection... and gloves.

SorenK said...

they were 'literally' queuing for a mile to see our local fireworks display. in the constant pouring rain. admirable.

i had to, ahem, see a man about a dog.

B Manning said...

I say bring back jumping jacks...

...and six packs of bangers

perfect for Mischief Night..

BTS said...

- Wear sunglasses, do you really want to risk your sight because of one unexpectedly bright explosion?

Are you taking the piss, you cheeky bastard..?

David Davis said...

In the Czech Republic, I have attended birthdays, weddings and new Year parties where most guests light up fireworks in the room, and toss them at each other at the crowning moment. Bangers go down well, specially the 5-inch Austrian "Korperboller" ( - "boddy-balls" to you ! The bursting charge is about 8 grams. Go figure!)

Ash will have something there to get their teeth into.

Anonymous said...

Fireworks are not smokers,even though as an earlier commentator pointed out the produce toxic smoke.
This is merely another spitefull attack on smokers from the little hitlers at Pendle council.
The simple statement above proves it .
It's a prejudicial bigoted move by the predudicial bogoted little hitlers at Pendal council.
Zieg Heil.

Neal Asher said...

Secondhand smoke outside. I notice that you aren't allowed to smoke outside of Arrivals at Heathrow. Meanwhile car after car and bus after bus are passing just a couple of yards away. Britain is mad.