Saturday, 19 September 2009

A Rosy Future


We're all dying too young, they scream. We must all live pristine lives as we tilt at mundane immortality. If we listen to the righteous, though, we could add a whole ten years to a drab existence.

And why not when there is so much to look forward to in our senility?

Britain's ageing population faces a healthcare 'timebomb', Andy Burnham, the health secretary has warned.

Huge pressures are being put on existing care services in the UK as people live longer and need more resources to look after them, he said.

Mr Burnham said: "The current care system is creaking at the seams and can't cope."

So put that fag out, chuck the cans of Carlsberg in the bin, stop buying Olde Oak ham, ban 7up from the house, throw out your frying pan, start running marathons, stock up on lentils and mangetout, buy a smoothie maker, sleep in the spare room and go everywhere by bike.

Then you too can spend your last years on this island, in a 'creaking' care system, having your needs ignored or being treated as an inconvenient annoyance.

Or, if Burnham's plan is successful, your reward for living so cleanly will be to pay a government body for longer than if you had just ignored all the hectoring and enjoyed your life.

Mr Burnham added: "We're having a Big Care Debate in England and asking people how they want to pay for care - have an insurance system, something that's comprehensive or just part paid for."

Marvellous.




9 comments:

Witterings From Witney said...

DP,

And as part of this 'Care Debate' is the creation of the NHS 'little sister' the National Care Service (NCS). It is an open secret they will get rid of Assistance Allowance (AA) and whilst in a letter from DWP (dated 12th August 2009 signed by a Mrs. C. Keane) they have said that there are no existing proposals to transfer funding from Disability Living Allowance (DLA) you can bet your last cent/penny/euro they will - note the word 'existing', which surely means that it is being considered! As part of the 'cuts' you can bet they will then 'un-ringfence' that so that will go!

I hardly think the word 'marvellous', whether in a sarcastic sense or not, is the right one!

This government is surely an example of the 'walking dead' - who are determined that they will not be alone - come their 'demise'!

BTS said...

Dick, you've got it all wrong pal. Apparently all we have to do is work longer, thus staving off senility and paying for our er.. headstones all in one fell swoop:

http://gimundo.com/news/article/working-for-more-years-can-ward-off-senility-and-alzheimers-disease/

"Recently, researchers from the Institute of Psychiatry at King’s College London researched the life histories of more than 1,300 people who’d been diagnosed with dementia, considering factors such as education, employment, and age of retirement.

According to their findings, one factor was quite consistent in determining when someone might begin showing signs of Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia: those who retired later were likely to show symptoms of the disease at a later age. They found that for every extra year of work, a person could expect to halt the disease’s progression for an additional six weeks."

So guess what? If you simply delay retiring until,say, 85 you could delay the onset of dementia by approximately 2.3 years and therefore, as you'll probably be on your last legs anyway if you last that long, can enjoy pissing yourself whilst fully compus mentis and have the privilege of paying for it to boot.

Apparently this is a 'silver lining'..

Curmudgeon said...

More and more I think the late Keith Floyd got it right - died at 65 after a long, boozy lunch and a few fags. He won't end up being a "burden on the state".

Anonymous said...

I'm really stoned so this might not make sense.

As far as the "Science Vs Religion" thingy goes, I've always been on the side of science.
However, of late I have been coming to the conclusion that with the rise of science and the fall of religion (As far as peoples beliefs are concerned)we also have the fear of death due to a lack of belief in an afterlife in Heaven with God.
Could this be the reason some people are obsessed with wringing every last minute out of their lives, even if those last minutes are filled with agony and bodily fluids leaking.

What to do about it...I haven't a clue.
Death is not something that particularly bothers me and therefore cannot even begin to understand the thought processes of the "living dead".

bhj

Angry Exile said...

The only argument they've got that holds any water is that some of the ways you might go are pretty unpleasant. Still, weighed up against the possibility of maybe a couple of decades of frailty, incontinence and dribbling..... One answer could be assisted suicide so we could smoke and drink and eat fatty food, and if the result turned out to be a lingering and painful death we could pay someone for a ticket to the undiscovered country on a big pink train of fluffiness. Of course, that would mean owning your own life so don't expect that option to be available any time soon from the bastards who say they own it at the moment. Of course we could always try the DIY approach, which for some of us would mean trying hard drugs for the first time and in fucking massive quantities in an attempt to not only leave this vale of tears but to be completely off your dial at the time. The problem with that is that you don't own your body either, and the bastards who think they do have ordered you not to and, in case you disobey, have also ensured that the quality of anything you buy is variable. And they wonder why people want to smoke, drink and eat tasty if unhealthy food!

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

Life: just a one way ticket, no refunds. Enjoy your journey.

Anonymous said...

Compulsory euthanasia on its way - or at least for those who don't have the assets to pay for care.

HMG don't give a stuff about anyone's health except insofar as the healthy don't cost money. We're just drones to be milked until we're discarded when we can't produce any longer.

I think that "bhj" is absolutely right re fear of death and HMG et al exploit this for their own ends.

Jay

BTS said...

bhj - Don't Bogart that joint my friend..

Fausty said...

Vitamin D3 and curcumin have shown to reduce Alzeimers symptoms. They might even prove to be prophylactic.