Saturday 13 June 2009

Right To Reply

Yes, it's probably not 'cool' to ridicule the cerebrally-challenged, but seeing as some Manc twat (I say that, but he only actually admits to being a Manchester United fan, so he could be from Cornwall for all we know) has decided to throw sweeping generalisations around, I claim the right to reply in equal manner.

Attention smokers: I hope you burn in hell

Why, fuck you very much, Paul, nice to meet you too. Interesting use of spiteful hatred in your opening gambit, duly noted.

I hate smokers. Not like I hate paedophiles or Liverpool fans, but right up there with war criminals and boat shoes.

See, we have a problem already. Once we encounter some lads' mag moron equating paedophiles with Liverpool fans, and smokers with war criminals, there is obviously going to be a poor argument to follow. We'll go with it though. After all, he is entirely entitled to his opinion as long as it is based in fact.

Unfortunately, he further loses touch with reality by relying on his confirmation bias to regurgitate one-sided equations pushed by vested interests, not that he would have noticed that salient point (he could have investigated further, but then why should he? He hates smokers so anything that backs up his bigotry isn't worth casual checking).

That's about 5.5 per cent of the entire NHS budget. I'm not sure how many children with leukaemia that would treat, but I'm guessing you'd still have change left over to help a few adults who had acquired a disease accidentally rather than deliberately and systematically.

Ah, thinking of the chiiildren, I see.

5.5% of the budget you say, Paul? Wow! Quite shocking. Except that if you had engaged brain before employing keyboard you could have avoided some embarrassment.

According to national statistics, the population at the last census was just shy of 61 million, 11.7 million of whom were kids. Smoker prevalence is 21% of adults which equates to 17% of the population as a whole.

Let's revisit your idiot argument about kids with leukaemia again, shall we? Smokers pay, according to official statistics (and I'm being conservative here), more than twice that £5bn cost in tobacco duty alone. This doesn't take into account national insurance contributions or savings in pension payouts. On the basis of such truths instead of prejudicial vagaries, 17% of NHS users costing only 5.5% of the NHS budget (using the inflated BHF figure and ignoring any contribution from smokers whatsoever) looks like a bona fide bargain once the incontrovertible facts are looked at, doncha think Paul? In fact, it's a massive profit.

Just think of how many kids with leukaemia have benefitted from smoker contributions, eh? I know it doesn't fit with your knuckle-dragging bullshit stats, but then, that's why you're a bread and circuses chimp and I'm not.

What is quite funny about your nonsense piece, Paul, is that the evidence was there for you but you just didn't have the mental capacity to see it. Remember writing this?

The survey reports that in the UK, 21 per cent of adults smoke.

A maths lesson for you. 21 minus 5.5 equals? Come on Paul, it's not difficult. I know 21 presents a problem when relying on fingers and toes, but use some initiative, sunshine.

OK, I have replied with a sweeping generalisation, as you did, you may even have spotted it if you weren't picking fleas out of your simian navel at the time, now for the spiteful hatred by return.

Just my opinion, and all that, but you sir, are a rancid, shallow fucktard who deserves to be fisted up the ringpiece with a sandpaper and broken glass-encrusted glove, for using sick kids to justify your selfish and puerile dislikes. Just stick to talking about overpaid men in shorts in future, eh?


Unknown said...

Oh my god, where do these spiteful morons come from? Pre ban I was oblivious to such rabid hatred and now I'm surrounded by the nasty fuckers. If I said I hoped all muslims burn in hell they'd lock me up without a trial and throw the bloody key away.

The loathsome bastard!

proglodyte said...

Nicely put, Dick. You should e-mail him this link.

MarieC said...

I have posted the link. It will be interesting if they allow it, what with Dick's wonderfully accurate use of the English language. Well said Dick.

Helen said...

Well said Dick.
Paul obviously has a screw loose to be writing an article like that, and so must the editor for allowing it.
An appalling piece of dribble with a very sinister undertone.

Unknown said...

It sounds more like a blog rant of the misinformed rather than an alleged piece of journalism.

Is it any wonder that people believe in all the anti smoking hype when this sort of stuff is allowed to be published?

What if they put the tax on cigs and booze into a pot on its own within the NHS to cover the treatment costs for smokers and drinkers only....then sit back and watch all these 'they are a burden on the NHS' arguments implode....

Sniper said...

£43 Million spent on a Marketing
Communications Programme.

And have a look at a few of the Media Partnerships involved.

Taxpayers are paying for this shit.

Unknown said...

Dick, we shouldn’t be remotely alarmed by this foul bigotry. Why? Well it’s quite simple really.

A very substantial majority like this meaningless pillock, are nothing more than grist to the mill of relentless intolerance that anti-smoking zealots dutifully cultivate, and they do this with all the industry of dung beetles.

He is a member of that throng of witless entities that neither analyse nor question shaky data…they simply accept whatever they are fed – like pigs but with less imagination and even less intelligence.

If it is one thing that people like us learn, it is this… you must never accept something presented as the truth when it is backed by vested interests, it is because of this that greater vigilance must prevail – when you strip away vested interests, then, and only then you come closer to the truth.

Fodder like this (man?) allows ignorance and intolerance to grow into something so monstrous that the truth about smoking and the smoking ban are difficult to uncover and present in any rational context.

These burblings’ are nothing more than a hopelessly shallow mind at work. I’ll tell you what I’m prepared to do.

I’ll happily pay two local knuckle-draggers to pop round to his hovel…and work his diseased bonce all the way round his toilet u-bend.

Sound good to you?

Dick Puddlecote said...

Sniper: Funnily enough, I added your link to my faves yesterday, I'm sure I'll find a use for it somewhere. ;-)

Chris: He is a member of that throng of witless entities that neither analyse nor question shaky data…they simply accept whatever they are fed – like pigs but with less imagination and even less intelligence.

Brilliantly put. The problem is that there are millions of such ignorant people in our country - including MPs.

Can't see it changing for the better either unless some genius emerges from the political pack to surprise us all. But what chance that when they are all either in it for themselves, or geared since college to say what they are 'supposed to say' to get into parliament?

Antipholus Papps said...

Fuck it, what have children with leukaemia ever done for us? And how much tax do they contribute? That's right, fuck all!

fag ash lill said...

Clearly his own readers were not very impresssed, judging by their comments.

Children with Leukimia are very brave.

BTS said...

I'm a smoker and a Liverpool fan. I've never felt so loathed by a complete stranger..

But who cares? He's obviously a twat..

Anonymous said...

Dick, With the hatred we read from some articles/blogs, it does not matter now how far satire goes for me, it appears the same, he is now saying, that is what it was, well sort of -