Friday, 19 February 2010

Why The US Should Tell Jamie Oliver To Fuck Right Off

Hey, you crazy yanks, consider yourselves warned. If you choose to ignore advice, you're on your own.

Please read the whole Spiked article and marvel at how the tedious mockney cretin manages to fill a speech of 18 minutes with a comprehensive walk-through of the junk stats, contradictory scares, and ill-founded tear-tugging currently spouted by self-satisfied food gauleiters.

So, having watched Jamie feed you some fattened statistics about obesity that have been shown to be wildly inaccurate, seen him declare falsely that your kids are going to die far younger than they should, and watched him make a decent, upstanding, loving mother cry on TV, what did you do, America? You gave him a prize. What were you thinking?

Okay, it is partly our fault. When he tried this stuff over here, our prime minister at the time, Tony Blair, was so desperate to fawn over anybody who was having any influence on the public that he met him and announced new government policies in response to his TV series. The result? Fewer kids eat school meals than before he started while school meals staff have to work harder.
Still, what does the self-declared opponent of the food police care as long as he can break into America's lucrative recipe book market?

Not sure about kids consuming too much junk food as it is certainly not apparent in Puddlecoteville, but Jamie has been dangerously binge-feasting on righteous schlong, it would appear.

Time for him to cut down on slurping at the Fatfinder General's man batter and stop being such a hideously interfering chimp, methinks.


Mark Wadsworth said...

Wise words, DP.

Do you think they'll listen?

WV: a tent

Anonymous said...

Oh Richard, did you have to mention
this prancing ,dog lipped, mind
sapping schmuck just when decent folk were seeking something to lift
their spirits from the grey drabness of another lost friday.
Confined to barrracks tonight due to massive police patrols in central Manchester. They have erected loads of airport style
body scanners at strategic points
in a clampdown on underage drinking
and dodgy fags*. Must be top spec scanners

The Manc joints have lost so much custom since (you know when) they've been sellig to kids as young as 12-13.

* Tobacco type

Frisky Ferret

Anonymous said...

Americans are stoopid, what can I sey. Im' an Amercian. They ignore UK and hope to hurry the same Big Brother police state over here. Americans are stoopid, I seid that alreddy.

BTS said...

I came on here for a bit of Dick and what do I get? A link to Spiked with an 18 minute video of a cock..

w/v: rebet.

Rebet rebet.. rebet rebet..

Linky64 said...

Just saw his premier episode last night. He said the kids will die at age 35. He implied one family were all liars because they didn't use up all the mint, but he didn't mention how they had apparently eaten everything else he gave them. The lunch ladies implied HE was a liar and he cried. He started off the evening by calling a radio host who provided him with airtime a "miserable bastard" and a "grumpy git". (Not to his face.)

Yeah- this character would get on the nerves of any freedom loving American any day, but he just happened to pick the week we passed healthcare reform to debut the show. 74% of the country are already upset at people telling us what to do and how to live, I'm thinking there will be a severe backlash against him - although he'll hide it as if it never happened.

Anonymous said...

Yes, telling parents that their children would be better off eating healthy food rather than processed shit is a crime against humanity.

All Oliver's "food revolution" amounts to is getting morons not to eat chicken nuggets & slurp sugar based drinks every day...commie bastard.

A real revolution would advocate a meat free diet...but then I don't think your average pleb is quite ready for a World free of heart attacks, obesity, World Hunger, water wastage & contamination on a vast scale, cruelty & a life of misery for animals...etc, etc, etc.

America has embraced Oliver not because it cares about its children's health ( if all it needed was an Essex cook to do that then it could hardly have been a concern in the first place ) but because it loves a tv show.

Intelligent people have been eating healthily for's called the "not eating shit" diet.

Dick Puddlecote said...

I hate to break it to you, Anon, but America didn't 'embrace' the twat. He was lambasted so often he burst into tears on TV, and was subsequently also publicly ridiculed by David Letterman.

As for Oliver's campaign. If he didn't use a hectoring (sometimes bullying) tone, hadn't encouraged HMG to waste £1bn of our taxes eliminating choice, didn't consistently spew hyperbolic junk stats, and wasn't such a hypocrite when it suits, it's be worth backing him. But he just carries on being a faux cunt, meddling in people's lives for a few extra dollars.

How 'bout that? I said all the above without some cheap shot about your being a nutjob vegan. :)

Vibram Guy said...

Is this Jamie Oliver the same person who makes beef burgers? I bought a few at Tesco some time ago, and they were the worst and dullest tasting piece of meat I have ever had. No wonder they say British are the worst cooks in the world, and so is their cusine