Friday, 6 February 2009

The Arch-Righteous Alan Johnson, Again

More fuzzy-headed finger-wagging from Labour's resident health cockmonger, Alan Johnson, the holier-than-thou guy who brought you such gems as "denormalisation of smokers" and "the effect of the smoking ban on pubs has been largely positive".

Smokers have long warned that alcohol and 'non-approved' foods would be next, but it is startling how swiftly these swivel-eyed freaks have shifted focus. Only last week Johnson was donning his pinny and nannying on the evils of small quantities of alcohol along with the BMI-challenged Liam Donaldson. Now he is wheeled out (presumably because it would be laughable to see Donaldson doing it) to herald Labour measures designed to restrict how much chocolate and fizzy drinks your family should eat.

The Government is set to order manufacturers to shrink the size of chocolate bars and fizzy drinks.

Health Secretary Alan Johnson will tell firms such as Mars, Coca-Cola, Britvic and Nestlé that smaller versions of their products should be available in all garages and corner shops to help stop people piling on weight.

Isn't this a laughable waste of Johnson's time, and subsequently, our money? Surely if a consumer wishes to buy a lot of chocolate, or a large quantity of pop, they will just buy two of the smaller product size instead. Unless Labour are planning on forcing the public to comply (Would you put it past them? No, me neither, they have past form).

While many companies have invested in low sugar options, the sugar content of normal food and drink should also be cut and not just replaced with artificial sweeteners, Mr Johnson will tell the businessmen. Consumer tastes are changing and people want healthier foods, which has to be good for business, Mr Johnson will argue.

I think businesses know what the public want, Johnson. In fact, I would guess that they might have invested a not insubstantial sum researching their market. Properly, without fixing the results as your group of illiberal fantasists tend to do. If the manufacturers had got their figures wrong and misunderstood their customers, as you claim, they would be suffering financially (like the pubs that your bent statistics and lies have destroyed). The fact that the companies you are targeting here are doing very well, thank you, suggests that you are waffling out of your idealistic ringpiece.

If tastes are changing and "people want healthier foods", the market will adjust and provide for them. As such, it is none of your fucking business which size packets/bottles are produced. Just the fact that you have put this deluded guff on general press release illustrates again that you are a lying, dictatorial shitstick. Is there anyone left in the Labour party who isn't?

Oh yeah, and Johnson, is the effect on pubs still "largely positive" now it has increased to 39 closures a week? See the picture at the top of this article? That's you, that is. A supersize, weapons grade one at that.

Via Taking Liberties


Saucepan said...

"Health Secretary Alan Johnson will tell firms such as Mars, Coca-Cola, Britvic and Nestlé that smaller versions of their products should be available in all garages and corner shops to help stop people piling on weight."

I thought they already were, they're called 'snacksize.' Anyway, to put two fingers up I've eaten and enjoyed 2 kit kats.

Cate Munro said...

Hear Hear! That Chenin Blanc's clearly doing the job Dick!
What a fab post.
The problem here is, that this incompetent bunch of twats feel the need to exercise control over us at every turn. Soon they'll be advising us how many craps we should be enjoying each day! (Appols. for 'non-tottyesque speak!)
They just can't help themselves, and instead on focussing on things that actually matter (like a country crumbling before their very eyes!) they meddle in business that doesn't concern them in the slightest!
Ironic actually, that there are 2 different sizes of nearly every chocolate out there already . . . including Creme Eggs (low and fucking behold! - they're far too small for my licking . .sorry . . liking!) Tp

Sue said...

That's alot of businesses closing that probably wouldn't have shut if the ban had been lifted.

What are the Tories going to do with the ban, any idea?

They should reverse it and make it a matter of the landlords choice. That would show real courage and would also prove to the electorate that they stand for freedom of choice!

Anonymous said...

And the backstory - apart from the fact that they are a bunch of natural control freaks - is that all the real decisions are taken in Brussells, leaving provincial governments nothing but manic micromanagement to keep them busy.

banned said...

That will suit snack producers nicely. They historically reduce the size of their products without reducing the price.
When did you last see a proper sized Waggon Wheel or Curly Wurly ?
They used to be huge but now they are titchy.

Get your portion here

Leg-iron said...

"the effect of the smoking ban on pubs has been largely positive".

From Righteous Al's point of view, the effects have been excellent. Pubs are not only free of smoke, many are now free of alcohol, customers and landlords too.

So, now we are to tolerate smaller chocolate bars and reduced-size cans of pop, but bigger government and fatter ministers.

When we're all lean and fast and hungry, those fat ministers are going to look back on this decision and regret it. Too late, barbecue boy.

Mark Wadsworth said...


Nice collage. This "small packets" idea isn't new though. I had a reader's letter in the Metro three or four years ago pointing out that people would just buy two small packets or two small bottles.

Curmudgeon said...

Generally agreed, but I would make one exception. The operators of motorway service areas are effectively running licensed monopolies, and in my view they should be required to sell normal-sized packets of crisps and 330ml cans of soft drink instead of just 55g “grab-bags” and 500ml bottles, which is an abuse of their monopoly power.

However, maybe it's time for motorway service areas to be deregulated too.