Monday, 23 February 2009

Comical Warfare

The fearless Metropolitan Police at its brave brave best.

Biohazard officers investigate HP Sauce spill

Police wearing protective suits and breathing apparatus were sent to investigate the spillage of a potentially dangerous liquid which was later revealed to be HP Sauce.

Officers responded after receiving reports that a bottle of brown fluid had been thrown through the window of a parked car on a residential street in Enfield, north London, in the early hours of the morning.

Wearing suits designed to protect against all chemical and biological threats, and with fire crews and paramedics in support, the team examined the inside of the 4x4 where the mystery substance had leaked.

A female officer was even taken to a local hospital as a precaution after getting some of it on her suit, according to reports.

Only later did tests show that the liquid was HP Sauce – a potent condiment but hardly a health hazard.

An eyewitness said: "It was hilarious. What an overreaction – they certainly had egg on their faces by the time they'd finished.

"Maybe they thought the E numbers were a particular hazard."

He added: "The whole street woke up as there were a number of fire engines and ambulances with their lights flashing. The road was sealed off and we all thought we'd have to be evacuated."

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: 'We were called to the scene just after 3am to reports of something thrown into a car, with the car alarm going off.

"With any unidentified chemical spillages we have to treat all incidents equally seriously."

Following the incident, ex-Manchester policeman Gene Hunt said, "What a bunch of fooking poofters".

The HP Sauce bottle in question was astounded at the fuss, querying, "Is it cos I is black?"


Lawson said...

Plod really are deep in the "Brown Stuff" now!

Coat, got, gone.

Stop Hitting Me Officer said...

If it had been mayonnaise there would have been no such fuss - H.M. Constabulary being very adept at dealing with McDonalds spills in their "emergency vehicles".

Should have seen the fuss at Insurance HQ in Norwich when someone sent a smelly old trainer in to the office by post. Noddy suits everywhere, Surrey Street closed, bus station closed, emergency vehicles called in from every county, decontamination tents, dozens of staff stripped, hosed down and carted off to hospital wearing paper clothing.

Come to think of it - we never did see those people again...

Anonymous said...

This is how we cripple the country's police forces during the 'Summer of Rage'. Co-ordinated posting of various condiments to stations everywhere!

Anonymous said...

"An eyewitness said: "It was hilarious. What an overreaction – they certainly had egg on their faces by the time they'd finished."

That's what happens when you forget the bread for your 3am fried egg sandwiches..