Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Err ... What's It Got To Do With YOU?

I'm racking my brains here, trying to work out exactly how many English voters put an X next to the name of Chief Scottish Health nose-poker, Nicola Sturgeon.

We are currently trying to persuade the Westminster Government to take action on the advertising of alcohol. So far, the Westminster Government has not proved too willing to do that, but we will continue to seek to persuade it.

Sorry Nicola, we are already well supplied with interfering jock busybodies, ta. Hell's molars, someone rebuild that fucking wall.

And hasn't she got this all to cock?

Notwithstanding that disagreement, I think that he has a point about the need to ensure that, as well as cutting consumption across the population, we target the problem of hazardous drinkers.

So, targeting those who drink to excess (where the BMA classes a heavy drinker as someone consuming three pints, twice a week, by the way) is now a secondary issue to cutting consumption in the vast majority of those who don't. Interesting.

What's the Scottish slang for 'none of your fucking business'?


Mac the Knife said...

"What's the Scottish slang for 'none of your fucking business'?"

Er, 'Get tae fuck!' if I remember correctly...

Ed P said...

Interfering self-righteous bastards!

I'll drink what and how much I like and no busybody will stop me. If it gets more difficult to but decent alcohol, I'll start brewing my own. Send the swine round here for a dose of "shotgun therapy"

Anonymous said...

I find it charming that you imply that 'Scottish' is a dialect... lol

more like 300 of the fuckers..

Away tae fuck.

Awww shit.. what's happening to me? Arrrgh. Pass me that mars bar and a pan.

Pat Nurse said...

Brilliant Puddlecote!! Pure class.

The Filthy Engineer said...

Can you have such a thing as a female tosser?

Anonymous said...

"Excuse me, good lady. It has come to my attention, through a reporting medium, that you have expressed an opinion that is not universally accorded and, in particular, with regard to my own point of view, contains a number of errors of taste and appropriateness. It is my solemn duty, not to mention pleasure, to invite your attention to the expostulations and aggrieved remarks of a number of stalwart Defenders of Freedom, including the person who is usually referred to in the first person dative singular reflexive pronoun 'myself'. I may be forgiven, I hope, for not reporting these remarks in full and verbatim but, rather, condensing them into a pithy statement that carries the full weight of the original but in a more-easily managed package. Namely, 'none of your fucking business' "

is the Scottish slang for 'none of your fucking business'.

Anonymous said...

Why not fight fire with fire, they want to de-normalize us, why don't we as internet users start de-normalizing them on an individual basis, lets pick out one of these 'new puritans' on a weekly basis and rip them a new one, via blogs, twitter, facebook, digg. Let's use a concerted campaign across blogs like yours and anyone else who feels enough it enough to send these unelected t@ss pots a message they can't ignore - Leave me the f*ck alone!!

Bearwitch said...

@Al: Just wanted to be pedantic. You are well acquainted with myths. The deep fried mars bar appears to be one of them (unless anyone can correct me with proof, although not the type of fake charity proof scenario, ta). I grew up in Scotland and the only time I have ever seen a deep fried mars bar advertised was on the board outside a british fish n chip shop in singapore.

Now, you get tae fuck ;-)

TheBigYin said...

What's the Scottish slang for 'none of your fucking business'?

It's called a Jaky Bunnet (don't want to offend the anti Spotted Dick brigade here, know what I mean?) and she well deserves one, the cupid stunt! (Scots hard men used to sew razor blades into the peak of their caps and head butt those that offended them, tearing a big chunk out of their opponents noses.)

And bloody less of the raceism, what have we Scots ever done to the Hengerlish eh...oops, forget I said that!

Anonymous said...

The Deep Fried Mars Bar was invented in Stonehaven, Aberdeenshire, Scotland by the chippie, or chipper as we say in Grampian, Carron Fish and Chip Shop at Allardice Street in 1995.

In 2007 the deep fried mars bar was named as the 10th most unhealthy food ever. Other foods thought to be bad for the health included Spam, Cheesesteak and quiche. This hasn't stopped many regulars at the Carron Fish and Chip Shop from ordering their favourite deep fried mars bar snack. The owner, John Wilson, still sells about 100 deep fried mars bars each week.

banned said...

" Hi Nicola, give us a ring and I'll tell you how to run Scotlands Legal and Education systems, OK love, byeee."
"Hi Nicola, it's me again; forgot to say 'Get tae fuck!' "

Do remember Bloggers how we first reacted to the proposed partial smoking ban, disbelief, mockery and yet it swiftly came to pass in its present draconian form.

JuliaM said...

"Do remember Bloggers how we first reacted to the proposed partial smoking ban, disbelief, mockery and yet it swiftly came to pass in its present draconian form."

I remember all the people who said 'Drinkers will be next on the block' too, and were pooh-poohed...

Blind Steve said...

"What's the Scottish slang for 'none of your fucking business'?"

I believe it involves a sharp backward and forward motion of the head ultimately connecting firmly with the nasal cartilage of the personage intruding upon one's business.

And fucking right to.

BTS said...

I've worked it out. All those arseholes in Holyrood are permanently pissed. It's the only explanation..

And Spam gets it's second mention in a month. There's something going on here.

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Sam Duncan said...

From what I'm told by my chums in Edinburgh (names withheld to protect the unfortunates), you're much closer to the truth than you probably think, BTS.

The idea that Numptorians, of all people, are getting all sniffy about excess drinking is, quite honestly, hilarious. Or it would be if it wasn't so frightening.